I am a pre-nursing student looking to apply to the RN program at a local CC this week. Recently, I was diagnosed by my doctor with depression, something that has probably been with me for a while now. My husband is a police officer and works almost the exact opposite hours as me. Mostly, we pass each other in the hallway. He is pretty much my only friend and pretty much the only person I feel good around or believe loves me for who I am. Almost everyone else I know, including the rest of my family, I believe is highly critical of me and therefore I am not as open with them. I don't feel they understand me. Recently also, I had a problem at work concerning coworkers that devastated me. Without going into details I can say that people that I thought were my friends turned out not to be after 5 years of working together. It was a huge betrayal. Since I already have so few close friends that I talk to or go anywhere with, it really did hurt me. It was a major blow to my self esteem. I do not have any kids, but do have a very dysfunctional family. Let's just say they don't make me feel "good inside". I love them, it is just for me to communicate with them at all right now.
My doctor prescribed my Effexor XR and I am scared to take it. Right now I have two options:
1. Take the pills and keep my full time job until I officially get into nursing school. (I work at a desk in a PPO network)
OR..
2. Quit my full time job and seek a part time entry level job in a hospital very close to me to get me into the field
Right now, trying to do everything is really burning me out. Unfortunately, I had to use all my vacation time to take my NA class, so I have no time and cannot "take a break". I MUST finish BIO 202 this semester to get into school and am looking to take Patho in the spring if I have to wait till summer to get into nursing school.
I think we can afford for me to drop to part time. We have a little bit saved up. Of course, it would be entry level something, I will likely take atleast a 4.00/hr cut in pay. On the up side, quitting would allow me more time to get in a better place mentally, work on my school, and, most importantly, get into the hospital I am looking at working at after graduation. In addition, I could have the same days off as hubby....that would be almost three whole days off together a week, something we have not experienced ever in our relationship! We haven't had even one day off together regularly for over three years. It is eating at me now, likely because i only feel good now when with him??
The only con that I can think of in quitting the full time job now is benefits. I won't have insurance. And, of course, money. I won't be able to save that much, if any until I get up to full time.
I am just so scared to make any changes, but right now I am running into all kinds of problems. I can't see my nursing advisor because she is only available when I am supposed to be at work and cuz I have no time, I can't get off. I can't get off to do other school related things (you know, the kinds of stuff you gotta do Mon-Fri).
I was trying to stay at my job until March or so. I would get three weeks paid vacation then. But right now I feel like I am going out of my mind. It does not seem to be going away and I feel like if I don't change something, something is going to give. For the life of me though, I cannot seem to make this decision myself!!! Yesterday, I realized I needed an Advisor signature on my nursing application. I didn't have it so I started crying. I almost burned the papers up! I have BIO 202 homework, but I am denying it so I can sit here and type to you!! I need to get focused on the goals I am trying to accomplish. I want one day to have an option to stay home if I want to have kids and my current job will not give me that. I want to feel important.
If you had those two options, what would you do? Would you stay in your full time job that you did not much care for for insurance and $$ and tough it out until nursing school started? OR, should I quit now, go entry level into a hospital part time, get a break before nursing school starts, and enjoy some time with my hubby? I will still have classes and could go full time after a few months. I did my NA classes, but have not been able to study up for the exam, so eventually I could do that and get my CNA if I had more time.
Please help me decide. I know everyone says you gotta do what you feel you should do, but i cannot decide. I wanted to ask you all because I know you are in the profession and can tell me what you think would be most beneficial to me assuming I stay with nursing. Everyone outside of the profession just thinks I would be an idiot to take a cut in pay if I did not have to. But it is not about just that. There are so many factors involved. I don't want to be depressed when I am due to enter nursing school. I have been questioning whether I will be able to handle it if I don't deal with this now. What do you think???
Thank you all so much for your advice. I have no one else to turn to.
I've about faced that my life is over as far as having anything to look forward to.
Please, if you are feeling this way, see your therapist again. I can tell you that there will be SOMETHING to look forward to -- even if it is not marriage etc. And when you are feeling less anxious and stressed, you will be able to see it.
I too thought my life was all but over at one point. But things are MUCH better now. At this point I doubt I will remarry and may never have a life companion. And it is finally OK for it to be that way.
And Janice, if the price of the Effexor is the problem, please let the doc know. He should be able to get PLENTY of samples, and almost all drug companies have a program for people who can't otherwise afford psych meds; your doc just has to fill out some paperwork to set that in motion.
Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.
When you get into nursing school, you will be under a lot of stress and may not have time for your husband and/or job. I personally think it would be best to choose the direction that will allow you some peace of mind. This can be a time for you to heal before you get into nursing school. I would think that being around your co-workers who betrayed you would take its toll on you. It may be best to leave that situation to take care of yourself. If you can manage finacially by changing jobs, that may be the best route go. This may allow you the time to pass the NA certification and get your foot in the door to a new career in nursing. And it sounds like a change in jobs will allow you more time with your husband. This seems like a good time for you to heal and have some fun with your husband so that you will be able to handle the stresses of nursing school.
Absolutely agreed here! My hubby, at that time my fiance, was a paramedic (still is)...our lives consisted of always trying to get together, but time wouldn't allow! So I moved in with him in Nursing school so at least we could say "hi' in passing...well, with clinicals at 0500...and hubby got off at 0600...well, 'hi' wasn't even happening! I was miserable, so miserable I wondered why the heck I even attempted to be a nurse!
But I stuck with it...and to this day wished I had the sence (or advice) to have taken an anti-depressant! I was miserable! Did wonderfully in school, but was the most unhappy person on earth (so it seemed). I changed...I went from happy go lucky people person...to a hermit, and I still struggle with social situations to this day! A complete utter 180 because I didn't seek help...I just said "oh get over it...deal with it...move on!"
Nursing school was the MOST stressful situation, compacted by the total alteration of lifestyle, time, and not being able to be supported by friends/family because of schedules! I was alone, and very miserable even among my closest friends, who were very concerned!
I would certainly take the chance with the med...it could have helped me for sure...but I really didn't think about it in the throws of nursing school (go figure).
And as far as another thing you can do...find a way...I am talking FIND a way to have time with your husband...make it quality time, even if it is running errands...play a game of "only talk in rhymes or song titles", go out to a park and have a picnic lunch and blow bubbles...something totally stupid and fun! You will be suprised that the laughter really lightens up the situation for both of you! Also, find a hobby you enjoy..and do it when you can (again making the time). Find ways to give your support system (IE hubby) and yourself something you value and connect with positive self worth! Trust me...it takes some time and practice...but it really saved me from a extended time of feeling lower than a slugs entrails!
Also..something totally silly I did...well, I got a nurses cap (we did not receive these in RN school) and put it by my bed so it was the first thing I saw in the morn as a student..and I would NOT put it on till I graduated. This helped me to focus on what my goal was...kind of subliminally I suppose! That day I put that cap on was one of my finest moments (I did not go to my graduation, instead I got married to my 'support system' :) ). It was like all that stress, frustration, self bashing..all melted away for a moment..and what a fine wonderful moment it was!!!!!
Good luck to you, and find some ways to reward yourself and destress...because nursing school is very very stressful, and nursing school is not forgiving to those that are "stressed out"...nope, can't use that excuse on any mistakes, missed classes, forgotten assignments, sleeping in class...
Remember...it is your time to shine, so take care of yourself so you can :)
I know you usually have to wait for open enrollment, but most insurances will pick you up in case of losing/leaving a job or other life changing circumstances.
Do double check just to make sure.
I know those meds can be expensive, but please give it a try. It can help so much. And Tweety is correct. Therapy combined with meds can do wonders.
Please take the medicine. If you can't afford it the office should have samples or the RX company's have programs where you can get your medicine from them. I suffer from major depression and OCD. I went to CNA school during a very unsteady time in my life I passed but it was very difficult. I finally got help by counseling and medication. IT took me 3 more years to get my LPN but I had all kinds of pre-req. and 2 children, husband, in-laws you name it. Find one day where you can sit down with your husband and both of you weight the pros and cons. If it were me I would quite my full time job and go with the part time because nursing is VERY STRESSFULL. I can say that we lived on 1 income with 2 children and my husband was only make $7 an hr. It can be done and it would relieve some stress in one area so you can deal with the stress from another area. Try writing little notes and leave on the fridge or pillows or something just to communicate and sometimes just say I love you. To get an unexpected not from your hubby is a pleasant suprise. But what every YOU decide start the medication and make the decision with your husband. So you both are prepared for what will be in the future and no big suprises that you wont expect. There will always be little ones but as long as you make the decision together the little ones will be worked out. I can understand about the family issue also. I wont go into detail except that I can relate. If at all possable try to distance yourself from you family and concentate on your own family needs and your own mental health. Hope this helps. Then you always have us to turn to that will let you vent. Take CAre
Depression can really make you feel like there is no good/hope in your life. It's such an empty negative place.
Have you thought about going back to your therapist and asking for a note to go on short disability? It may give you the time off from work that you need to recover from the losers there as well as give you time to decide what you want without having to take the medicine. Most employers will send you for a second opinion for stress or depression but, you have outlined a very good case within your post.
Thank you for sharing your post with us. I hope things get better for you.
The brain is the most complex organ in the human body and mental illness is a real disease. If you had a chronic disease, it would be nothing to be ashamed of but let it be mentally related and it's "all in your head" LOL. If you need medicine, you take it. Just think that this is a growth experience and that will help you empathize with future patients. If it were affordable then I would definitely go part time because nursing school is rough and will be stressful enough with a part time job and without the additional complications. Hang out here even as a lurker will help everyone needs help sometimes. Hang in there and do what it takes to accomplish your dream and remember that these problems are only temporary. You will be a nurse forever!!!
Definately take the med!! I don't know that I could function very well without my zoloft. My kids used to see a big difference if I missed a dose and would say, "Did you take your meds?" Cut down on the kleenex a lot too! A bad job or co-workers can really mess with your mind,your selfconfidence. Take care of that before you start nursing, I found the 1st year the hardest while I was still working as a CNA.
Best of luck in your decision and remember we're all here for you.
they've been made by others, but i want to underscore them--since, i know as a depressive how easy it is to miss things!
by the way--scientific studies have shown that anti-depressants work, and therapy works --- but anti-depressants and therapy work much better when used together.
i. if you have any sessions left through hubby's work, go to one and use it to find out about:
a. disability options--the therapist should be able to help you find out what disability benefits you may be eligible for, either through your work or through your state.
b. medication resources--whether it's med samples through your doctor or advocating with your doctor to start with a perhaps cheaper anti-depressant (prozac and wellbutrin sr are both available generically now).
c. therapy resources--they should know about community resources where you might be able to get therapy on a reduced-fee basis.
c. support groups--there are often support groups which are "self-run" in various communities, which are donation-based. these may be part of a larger organization or more locally run. you need to enlarge your "support system" to more than your husband; it's not healthy for either you or your husband.
ii. online support organizations:
i highly recommend using these resources for online support. they are excellent! try "walkers" right now...go ahead, do it now.
this was founded a bit after walkers, and is oriented to bipolar folk, though i (unipolar) used to belong as did other unipolars.
these resources are valuable, since depression is not always managed well, especially if the prescriber is a primary care doc (sorry, docs). (this is a useful thing to know as a nurse: sufferers of a particular condition frequently know a lot more about their condition and its treatment than do the medical folks they work with, even more than some specialists.) talking with them, you can get the information (and courage) you need to advocate for yourself.
iii. websites of national organizations dealing in whole or in part with mood disorders:
a. http://www.dbsalliance.org/ formerly ndmda (national depression and manic-depression association) now depression and bipolar support alliance
this organization has local chapters, and generally is made up of people who have mood disorders.
b. http://www.nami.org this organization, national association for the mentally ill, is mostly made up of families and friends of people with all forms of mental illness. i include this because this is the #1 advocacy organization for helping people with mental illness.
c. http://depression.about.com the "about" website has a variety of pages for different subjects which tend to be quite good and thorough.
d. http://www.google.com search for "depression support groups." among others, dr. john grohol and dr. ivan goldberg have been on the internet (before the web) for a long time.
iv. use a depression inventory to keep track of your progress
this is dr. goldberg's "depression inventory" (a set of questions used to assess degree of depression.) it's useful to keep track of your symptoms, and of your progress. as dr. goldberg suggests, you can print this out and take it to your therapist to show them how you are doing.
Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.
Great stuff thus far. I agree completely that a doctor should inqure about your insurance status when considering meds - the best pill in the world will do nothing if you can't afford it. TCA's are an older class of meds that are often less expensive and are effective for many people. Samples, pt assistance programs, etc, are also viable options as mentioned by others. Once you are working for a hospital, you may well also be eligible for steep discounts on meds through their pharmacy.
Whatever you do, I would encourage you not to let you insurance coverage lapse. Pre-existing conditions can be problematic unless you can show continuous coverage. I've seen a number of people run into problems with this, so please carry Cobra or do whatever you have to in order to maintain your insured status until you can get on hubby's benefits.
I'm sorry to be focusing on the more practical stuff. You have my warm/fuzzy support as well, of course :).
my doc ("pdoc") once gave me a sheet of "self-helps" for people with mild to moderate depression who didn't want to take medication (but useful for people, like me, on medication).
i don't remember everything on it. however, some things were:
1. having a regular schedule is important. go to sleep the same time every night.
2. eat well; stay away from caffeine, candy (and other substances, which i've forgotten) if possible.
3. exercise!!!
even 15 minute walks every day can make a big difference!!!
Ok! Lots of good advice in here. But, these kind folks here are not your psychiatrist nor your therapist. It is now time for you to act. Antidepressant meds work quickly for some individuals. I think the suggestion of going on disability is premature. Take some positive steps to help yourself. The hardest thing to do is to take the first step. Go do it.
I think for now I will start taking the medication, see how it works. I have decided to do nothing drastic job wise, atleast until I receive notification of being accepted to nursing school, or at the very least, notification that my app was received and entered into the lottery. Hopefully, that won't be too long after I submit my application.
Forgot to mention that a major stressor for me being in the job I am in now (desk job) is some chronic back pain that I seem to have acquired. Started about a year after I got this job and has been there ever since as a dull ache in my upper back. The chronic condition is exacerbated by sitting. Now, I am sitting more than ever...all day at work and then studying at night. That is making it worse. It is only another reason to find an active hospital job (not that nursing will be any better for my back, just a different type of "bad")LOL!
Anyway, I appreciate all the long posts and the suggestions. I know you are all very busy and for you to take the time out for me means a lot. I will let you know how it goes on the meds. Thanks again....
hypnotic_nurse
627 Posts
Please, if you are feeling this way, see your therapist again. I can tell you that there will be SOMETHING to look forward to -- even if it is not marriage etc. And when you are feeling less anxious and stressed, you will be able to see it.
I too thought my life was all but over at one point. But things are MUCH better now. At this point I doubt I will remarry and may never have a life companion. And it is finally OK for it to be that way.
And Janice, if the price of the Effexor is the problem, please let the doc know. He should be able to get PLENTY of samples, and almost all drug companies have a program for people who can't otherwise afford psych meds; your doc just has to fill out some paperwork to set that in motion.