Reaching my breaking point with middle schoolers

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1 hour ago, kelleyk1991 said:

I see maybe one kid a day

This would be the dream!

2 hours ago, bluebonnetrn said:
22 hours ago, SaltineQueen said:

The big deal is that I'M trying to help your child learn some coping skills and that not every tiny thing is a big deal...maybe you should try it.

THIS
Yes, this is why I have no problem being an ice pack nazi. I will gladly give an ice pack when it's warranted and I will withhold one when it isn't and gladly explain why.
I think of this issue right here as a big part of my job and I am not in the business of handing out placebos.

YESS! I spent a lot of time reflecting and trying to get in these kids minds because when I was that age, I never wanted to be sick or injured and have to miss out on my academics.

What I came to is that I grew up with parents that emphasized the importance of school and gave me positive reinforcements or guidance when I was having an issue. I think with a lot of these kids, they don't get that from their parents so they seek it somewhere else. Their problem is emotional and they receive positive attention when they get an ice pack so in a way it's not a placebo because their emotional problem is attended to and that's really what they're looking for but I'm still not going to feed that.

Bottom line is, they want attention and when it's not positive, they'll try to get negative attention.

When I stopped handing out ice packs like m&ms, I got tremendous push back and students getting verbally aggressive. I pay no attention to that either, I don't even get administration involved, just let them curse and storm out. I'm getting that less and less. I'm not going to be the adult that babies or disciplines them, only give them medical attention when they need it.

I'm really trying to give them more compassion and help them cope with minor ailments but I'm having a hard time with that and for this I don't think I'm cut out for this job.

Cas1in72

186 Posts

Specializes in school nursing/ maternal/child hospital based.
On 1/15/2020 at 12:55 PM, SaltineQueen said:

Has anyone had a parent get mad for NOT giving an ice pack? I'm getting pretty tired of all the "I hurt myself over the weekend" type complaints but I've got littles and I don't want to deal with parents calling and complaining that why couldn't I "just give their darling an ice pack...what's the big deal?" The big deal is that I'M trying to help your child learn some coping skills and that not every tiny thing is a big deal...maybe you should try it.

Im struggling with this, not just parents -but staff as well. NOT everything needs SOMETHING done. I keep saying this over and over. We are not teaching coping skills! Not everything needs a pill, or ice pack or band aid. Reassurance and redirection-Im a big fan, its just not going over well. I think having worked in a hospital for 20 years, I see what happens when we feed into this.

8 minutes ago, Cas1in72 said:

Reassurance and redirection-Im a big fan, its just not going over well.

Same. I've had teachers storm into my office demanding this, that or the other for students without letting me assess and come to that conclusion. This is the highest paying school nursing jobs I've ever come across. Idk why they bother spending the money for a nurse when all of their teachers are clearly nurses too.

Flare, ASN, BSN

4,431 Posts

Specializes in school nursing, ortho, trauma.
44 minutes ago, Cas1in72 said:

Im struggling with this, not just parents -but staff as well. NOT everything needs SOMETHING done. I keep saying this over and over. We are not teaching coping skills! Not everything needs a pill, or ice pack or band aid. Reassurance and redirection-Im a big fan, its just not going over well. I think having worked in a hospital for 20 years, I see what happens when we feed into this.

it's not just the idea that every "problem" needs a "solution" that gets me... it's the culture of immediacy that has been fostered in the health office. Nowhere else can you go for health care and expect sudden and immediate service. It baffles me. I've taken to physically leaving the building for my lunch. It's not so bad now, but at first you'd think that the world was going to end because I couldn't see where little Stevie bumped his knee on the desk RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Spoiler - he was totally fine when i got there and would have completely forgotten about it had the teacher not brought it up again. It was a teachable moment that I took advantage of.

Cas1in72

186 Posts

Specializes in school nursing/ maternal/child hospital based.
1 minute ago, Flare said:

it's not just the idea that every "problem" needs a "solution" that gets me... it's the culture of immediacy that has been fostered in the health office. 

Exactly. Its gotten worse over the 5 years of being a school nurse. There is zero tolerance for waiting, or slight discomfort ( ie head ache, abrasions). I was called out of a meeting on a DCS referral for an "emergency" by a teacher, it was a kinder that had wet her pants. Im really gonna blow one of these days. The education setting and what we are used to in medicine- there is no comparison. Everything is an emergency here, I live on the edge every time my walkie beeps or my phone rings. 9 out of 10 calls, that are described as an emergency, is nothing more than a minor issue and even something that should not be sent to the nurse. I keep trying to remind myself, but it makes my frustration greater. Im seen as not being compassionate or that " Im not doing anything" I am DOING SOMETHING, im not overreacting, Im not setting a fire over nothing, Im working to help the kids understand self control, self awareness, helping themselves. Its honestly the hardest nursing job I have ever had. I have said this before and I will say it again, THANK YOU all for being a part of this forum and for sharing and being a place of support and to vent.

BeckyESRN

1,263 Posts

"Not every ache requires intervention" I say this at least 15 times a day. I literally see kids because their body touched something or their head/ear/left great toe hurt for 30 seconds. And the number of "I took a drink, it didn't work" when instructed to drink more water with headache/sore throat/mucus...like 1 drink, C'mon Now. The expectation that one will never live with a single ounce of even temporary discomfort is baffling to me. And it's not a far jump to link this to the opioid epidemic.

Back 50 years ago when I was in high school, I dont think we even had a nurse. I never remember getting an injury,

But I used to have a runny nose alot . I know now it was allergies, and seemed like it was all the time.

I sure could have used a Benadryl in those days.

TriciaJ, RN

4,328 Posts

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
On 1/18/2020 at 5:29 AM, LPN Retired said:

Back 50 years ago when I was in high school, I dont think we even had a nurse. I never remember getting an injury,

But I used to have a runny nose alot . I know now it was allergies, and seemed like it was all the time.

I sure could have used a Benadryl in those days.

I never went to a single school that had a nurse. And I don't remember a single fatality. Why don't the school nurses have posters made to put up in their offices? That express some of the previously-mentioned sentiments. Like:

Not every ache requires intervention.

Not every discomfort is an emergency.

Patience, resilience and self-control are important skills to develop.

When someone (student, teacher, parent, principal, school board director, congressperson, etc.) is melting down in your office, quietly and emphatically point to the sign and get back to what you were doing. Placating and explaining just feed the monster.

Good luck everyone. I could never have worked as a school nurse.

tining, BSN, RN

1,071 Posts

Specializes in School Nurse.
On 1/19/2020 at 3:14 PM, TriciaJ said:

Why don't the school nurses have posters made to put up in their offices? That express some of the previously-mentioned sentiments. Like:

Not every ache requires intervention.

Not every discomfort is an emergency.

Patience, resilience and self-control are important skills to develop.

Making my poster right now! What do other SN tell their students that is softer than $uc# it up buttercup?

1 hour ago, tining said:

Making my poster right now! What do other SN tell their students that is softer than $uc# it up buttercup?

I refrain from giving them any more attention once I've assessed them and realized that they're fine. I tell them they're fine and to go back to class then I go back to whatever I was doing before or move on to the next student.

More often than not, they have more grief over me sending them back to class than their "injury" did but they'll get over it.

I had one ff that still didn't get it. I said "this is the nurse's office. it's for sick or injured students and right now you are neither" that either made it sink in or made her so angry, I think the latter, but she has not come to see me in week.

What I really need is a poster telling students not to ask each other why they're in my office. Usually when they do, I tell them to go back to class and when they give me a hard time, I hit them with "if you were really sick you wouldn't care about what's going on with him/her."

The kids hate me. I'm either perfect for this job or I am the worse for this job.

I got a call this morning to come to the gym. I was in the front office so I started back to the clinic to get my go bag. Coach is freaking out - "no time because we need you now - IT IS REALLY BAD." Is she breathing (yes), is she concious (yes), is she bleeding profusely (no). Then, we probably have 30 seconds for me to grab my bag.

Kid walked to her mom's car with no assistance 40 minutes later. Really, she would have been fine going to class but, if I have to get you in a wheelchair.........

I swear that she probably have gotten up on her own if she didn't have 14 coaches panicking and making a big deal!

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