racist patients

PearsonBSN · Sep 25, 2016

When I have to deal with those types of patients, I choose to view them as ignorant and not racist. Racist would mean that there is hate. Ignorance, though still hurtful, implies a knowledge deficit combined with an insensitivity. I feel sorry for them. That way I have control. Its a self protecting mechanism. You cannot control how people think, you can only control how you react. Do not feel hurt because she rejected your care. Just provide that care to someone who is appreciative and move on. She's not worth the effort.

Libby1987 · Sep 25, 2016

I won't tolerate it and I would walk if my employer ever expected me to, which they have not. I'm a conventional looking white female nurse so have never experienced it myself but I have witnessed it and I shut that garbage down. I don't care how old or where they're from, it's shameful behavior where I live and work.

OP, I'm sorry you had to experience that, there's no excuse but some people just lack class, intelligence and morality.

BabyFood26 · Sep 25, 2016

then in terms of letting others know that you will stand for yourself and won't accept abuse).

^^^^^^^^^^^^^This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Because at some point, where is the line drawn? If an individual has never experienced racism, then it's hard to understand how awful it feels. Especially when the nurse is putting forth their best effort and it is apparent they are displaying exceptional professionalism. It is just not right. LOLs I can understand to a point. But the younger ones, the families, etc. No. Racism is just unacceptable to me and quite frankly a huge disappointment to say the least. :no:

KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN · Sep 25, 2016

I find it so hard to deal with this. I am white, but work with a very diverse staff. It is incredible and I am very lucky to be a part of this. I had to switch pts with a friend of mine b/c the patient did not want a "foreign" nurse. The pt grilled this nurse as the what country she was from, where she went to school, the whole nine yards. She thought the other nurse was Muslim.
When I went in to introduce myself, she was trying to bait me into discussing the situation. I really wanted to tell the pt that the NURSE was the one wanting a change. I just cheerfully said that there was an assignment change and went on with my business. It was very hurtful to my friend and I hated seeing it happen.

Oh, yeah. The first thing after I open my mouth to say "hi". Where I came, why I came, HOW I did it (try to describe immigration process in just one sentence), how many kids, how many husbands, etc.

I tried to answer because I was drilled into idiotic idea that by doing so I presented myself as "friendly". After a while, I came to the point that I was not comfortable with people nosing (yes, it is not rasism in 8.90 cases out of 10. It is just old, plain, human, rude nosing into what is not their business). So, one time I pulled my guts in and said it. Nicely and politely, I said that I was NOT comfortable to discuss it. Even more nicely and politely, I let know that I did not care for a dime were they "just curious" or what.

To my utter astonishment, it worked. I was not written up, I was not rejected. It was the first time I hold my own against "customer service", and I won. On the other hand, I also discovered that, while patients from my current population, which is mostly "the sickest of the sick", often can't care less about it all. Weeks and months in hospitals taught them some hard lessons, after all.

So, now I start from that till both sides establish at least some sort of rapport. Most of the time, everybody is happy about it. If someone still wants "customer experience", they are welcome to stop to be a part of my very multiple problems

TriciaJ, RN · Sep 25, 2016

One time I was asked to change assignments with a nurse from Poland, because the patient wanted "an American nurse". The charge nurse rolled her eyes and said "Yes, I know, I know" before I could remind her that the Polish nurse is a US citizen and I am not.

EDnurseNY · Sep 25, 2016

You learn not to take it personally or you'll never stop being angry. I'm white, and just the other day I was ranted at by a patient. I had to check if she could ambulate safely (to go home), and to do so, had to walk her. She went off on me during the walk that I was just doing this to her because of her skin color, and how I'm horrible and cruel and she's going to sue for discrimination because of me. Yes, thank you for opening my eyes to my evil, white ways. It has to be because I'm white and not, you know, because I'm doing my job.

Or all the times working triage in a different city's ED when it was 99% full, how many times I was "racist" because I took the (white) chest pain/SOB/stroke patient back before the (black) dental pain/out of medication/constipation patient, completely ignoring all the (white) less severe patients still waiting and all the (black) more severe patients taken back before them. I got used to being called a "white b---h" or "racist b---h." Funny enough, they wouldn't be saying that if my skin color was the same as theirs.

Or all the people that assume I don't understand any other language than English and talk to their accompanying family member about me. That is, until I react to something they said or give simple directions in Spanish, and they're mortified. Yeah, the white girl speaks Spanish, so stop talking about how fat/ugly/white she is in front of her.

While I'm preaching not to take it personally, I do still get frustrated by this. I'm not going to sound enlightened or something and say that I don't see color, because that's BS. Color is a part of people's identities and it would be ignorant to minimize something important to someone. However, I love all people, it's how I was raised. And I especially care for all patients the same, I don't care what color they are. Some people are going to refuse to see that, though. All I can do is let it roll off my back and care for them the best I can.

Conqueror+, BSN, RN · Sep 25, 2016

I just had a patient say last week that she did not want any blacks taking care of her. While giving someone a pass in your head and saying "oh they are from a different generation or it's just ignorance" is nice for the entitled, it is insulting to those of us who have experienced it for all of our lives. Racism is often just that. Hate does not become something else because the patient is a certain age.

To the Op: Be glad. The same patient/family that has a problem with you will be more likely to complain or try to get you fired for no reason. Consider the change in assignment a blessing. Sometimes rejection is protection. Hang in there.

MikeyT-c-IV · Sep 25, 2016

I'll make it short and sweet. Blow it off. Keep doing your job. Everyone has their own bias and prejudice. Some patients will not like you for your ethnicity or background. Some patients will not like you because you are a guy. Move on and keep doing a great and professional job.

Don't take it personally.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Sep 25, 2016

I got used to being called a "white b---h" or "racist b---h." Funny enough, they wouldn't be saying that if my skin color was the same as theirs.

True...but dissatisfied patients often conjure up other derogatory race-based names to refer to nurses who belong to the same racial/ethnic backgrounds as them.

I have been referred to as a sellout, "whitewashed," and an Oreo cookie (black on the outside, white on the inside). Haters do not stop hating...

Buyer beware, BSN · Sep 25, 2016

Hello everyone,
I'm new nurse and I would like to hear from some of the experience nurses about this situation. I'm new male in nursing and add to that I came from another country in the middle east but I became a US citizen last year and I got my degree in nursing here in the US too. My question is that I had a female older white patient for one shift and I was extremely professional and I did great job taking care of her and she was also nice to me and never mention anything or say anything wrong, well the second day I came back to work and I was suppose to have the same patients I had last night but when I arrived the charge nurse notified me that this lady refuse foreigners and blacks to take care of her because of her religion believes, I was so depressed and frustrated to hear that because I did my best to help her, I'm frustrated because this is racism more than religion believes. I understand people are different but at least she should refused my care in the first day not when I left. Sometimes I had a hard time dealing with situations like these I feel its personal thing and I know its not my fault but how can I overcome situations like these?

OP:

This is less about racism than about attention seeking behavior. You see when you have a mental condition, attention, any kind of attention, is welcome. (maybe frequent flyer?)

The charge nurse was wise to change your assignment rather than let this patient play you like a fiddle.

As far as her "religion" not allowing her to be taken care of by anyone but whomever, I know of no religion that would condone this type of mischief except maybe the church of Satan.

Hang in there. The hospital environment is full of psychos. That's why they say, at least in Dixie, that there's a snake behind every tree.

EDnurseNY · Sep 25, 2016

True...but dissatisfied patients often conjure up other derogatory race-based names to refer to nurses who belong to the same racial/ethnic backgrounds as them.
I have been referred to as a sellout, "whitewashed," and an Oreo cookie (black on the outside, white on the inside). Haters do not stop hating...

Ahh yes, that's true and even less understandable. Not that any of this is all that understandable. Reminds me of the white people being called "race traitors" for anything perceived as not hating everyone that's not white. It's sad that it happens for everyone else too. Thankfully for me/my coworkers, when I worked with a person of color (if that's not a good term, I'm sorry! That's what I've heard used) at triage mentioned above, we never got race-based insults.

Qing · Sep 25, 2016

Its not you and there is nothing wrong with your care. It is racism and however the family/patient makes a reason not for you to have them I would not take it personal. You did your job and I would not worry because it will not be the last time that happens. I had a patient once and the family member looked at me, spoke to the supervisor saying she didn't want me and the fact was I did not do anything wrong. The charge nurse just told me sometimes people do not like the person for whatever reason and will say an excuse to not have a person. She told me that I did not do anything wrong so don't take it personal. You took care of the person with grace and should be proud of that. Anyway the patient I had was very fragile, and he coded a few times because he dropped oxygen so fast. He was on the ventilator and you really had to watch him and go in the room quite a few times. Please look at as an experience and to not be disappointed because not every person will like you. We cannot make everybody like us, but we can do is make sure their needs are met. Do not take it personal and just let this go. Just remember you did your work and took good care of the patient. That is what counts.