racist patients

Qing · Sep 25, 2016

Its not you and there is nothing wrong with your care. It is racism and however the family/patient makes a reason not for you to have them I would not take it personal. You did your job and I would not worry because it will not be the last time that happens. I had a patient once and the family member looked at me, spoke to the supervisor saying she didn't want me and the fact was I did not do anything wrong. The charge nurse just told me sometimes people do not like the person for whatever reason and will say an excuse to not have a person. She told me that I did not do anything wrong so don't take it personal. You took care of the person with grace and should be proud of that. Anyway the patient I had was very fragile, and he coded a few times because he dropped oxygen so fast. He was on the ventilator and you really had to watch him and go in the room quite a few times. Please look at as an experience and to not be disappointed because not every person will like you. We cannot make everybody like us, but we can do is make sure their needs are met. Do not take it personal and just let this go. Just remember you did your work and took good care of the patient. That is what counts.

Wrench Party · Sep 25, 2016

Totally can empathize. I'm white, and sometimes gets stuck taking care of these racist idiots after they reject a nurse or aide of color. I refuse to let the aides go in the room by themselves, lest they be subject to abuse.

A simple "So-and-so and I will be taking care of you tonight together, as you have made it so there is no one else" usually shuts this behavior down in 90% of patients. Do I treat them with pretty open disdain? Yes.

I refuse to indulge in this nonsense when 90% of our night staff is not white and my colleagues deserve better in 2016.

busybeeSN · Sep 25, 2016

Just don't worry about it. You're there to give the best care you can. People come from all walks of life and some have different ideas about things. Don't let it bother you, it's there loss. They're the ones who have to deal with living a life with those feelings inside them. I have had older men treat me like I am totally incompetent because I'm a young woman. I honestly just do my job and let it roll off my back. I am thankful I don't have those preconceived notions about people.

divobari · Sep 25, 2016

I'm african-american, Ivy-league educated, and lived in other countries(and it has nothing to do with the US military.) I speak 3 languages, and was born in Bronx, NY - the ghetto. I say that only to help you to feel the empowerment that is within you to know that you have likely had your share of adversity as an immigrant, clearly overcoming them. You then became a nurse. It is people like the older white lady(and no, they do not get a free "racist/bigot" pass from me, as mentioned earlier.) you cared for that give the rest a bad reputation and sometimes make you want to go the other way. I will say that whenever you are dealing with a patient, regardless of race or gender, it can never be about you. Maybe it wasn't about race but truly about her religion, or about gender... As a male, I've been kicked out of patients' room not by the patient, but by my preceptors, because they needed to inspect a woman's hemorrhoid, for example. When you feel yourself absorbing the negative energy/emotion, excuse yourself, regroup, and enter the room like it is your first time meeting that person.

BabyFood26 · Sep 25, 2016

You learn not to take it personally or you'll never stop being angry. I'm white, and just the other day I was ranted at by a patient. I had to check if she could ambulate safely (to go home), and to do so, had to walk her. She went off on me during the walk that I was just doing this to her because of her skin color, and how I'm horrible and cruel and she's going to sue for discrimination because of me. Yes, thank you for opening my eyes to my evil, white ways. It has to be because I'm white and not, you know, because I'm doing my job.
Or all the times working triage in a different city's ED when it was 99% full, how many times I was "racist" because I took the (white) chest pain/SOB/stroke patient back before the (black) dental pain/out of medication/constipation patient, completely ignoring all the (white) less severe patients still waiting and all the (black) more severe patients taken back before them. I got used to being called a "white b---h" or "racist b---h." Funny enough, they wouldn't be saying that if my skin color was the same as theirs.
Or all the people that assume I don't understand any other language than English and talk to their accompanying family member about me. That is, until I react to something they said or give simple directions in Spanish, and they're mortified. Yeah, the white girl speaks Spanish, so stop talking about how fat/ugly/white she is in front of her.
While I'm preaching not to take it personally, I do still get frustrated by this. I'm not going to sound enlightened or something and say that I don't see color, because that's BS. Color is a part of people's identities and it would be ignorant to minimize something important to someone. However, I love all people, it's how I was raised. And I especially care for all patients the same, I don't care what color they are. Some people are going to refuse to see that, though. All I can do is let it roll off my back and care for them the best I can.

I love this. :yes: well said, but the same goes the other way around. My sister in law, a black woman, higher education degree then myself, professional woman, hard working, set of good morals, etc. I could go on. She's just tryna make it in this crazy world. And I cannot even remember how many times she's told me her experiences with same race/color people prejudice. She works in law. So, like nurses, she deals with an array of humankind. Her anguish on these frequent hate attacks just tears me apart. Things like "buje" "uppity black *****" "you think you're better then me huh" ... oh the list goes on. It's awful. But like many have pointed out. Haters gonna hate, as the saying goes.

Still not saying it's ok. It's just something that is unfortunate part of life for any successful individual in any field of any color.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 25, 2016

As a black female, I have dealt with overt and covert racism from patients multiple times over the years. In the last overt instance, the patient called me a "black __" (rhymes with 'ditch' but starts with a 'B') and said, "Go back to Africa."
I prefer to never work with these people again. If a patient or his/her family members dislike me due to racial issues, this is one less difficult assignment I must contend with. And, yes, they make peoples' shifts difficult.

And as a white female working in a predominately Black community, I've dealt with racism from patients many times over the years as well. Wish I had $5 for every time I've been called a "white (bad word for female dog)" and had someone request a Black nurse. Racism is racism, and it's ugly. That said, if I'm "fired" due to such a superficial reason, it's one less nasty patient to deal with. Until I get assigned to that nasty patient who just fired Melinda because she ISN'T white.

It's been my experience that patients who "fire" nurses due to race eventually end up with the "nicest" (and possibly least competent) nurse on the unit. And that's karma!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 25, 2016

True...but dissatisfied patients often conjure up other derogatory race-based names to refer to nurses who belong to the same racial/ethnic backgrounds as them.
I have been referred to as a sellout, "whitewashed," and an Oreo cookie (black on the outside, white on the inside). Haters do not stop hating...

And unfortunately, many administrators and even nurses give them a pass because "they're sick" or "they're under a lot of stress." Being sick or under stress does not excuse hateful behavior.

Dementia may excuse it somewhat, but doesn't make it easier to take.

BabyFood26 · Sep 25, 2016

And unfortunately, many administrators and even nurses give them a pass because "they're sick" or "they're under a lot of stress." Being sick or under stress does not excuse hateful behavior.
Dementia may excuse it somewhat, but doesn't make it easier to take.

Hahahaha I'm not laughing at your comment. I liked it because I agree. I saw your Edit Reason: Because I can and was so tickled lol

Rn 1979 · Sep 25, 2016

Thank you everyone for your comments and it really makes me feel much better, actually it hurts when it happened but I will take it as a learning experience. I know sometimes its hard to deal with situations like this but I will just move on and keep doing my job because we are professionals.

GGirll22 · Sep 25, 2016

No cure for ignorance

GGirll22 · Sep 25, 2016

I was assigned to deal with a Cancer patient who was young and had many religious figures in her room, a believer of GOD, but I was told she didn't want any African American people to care for her. Things change as you need CPR.... and need medical attention that someone that isn't of color can do for example the PICC line nurse is African American. Your options are limited when you are ignorant.

divobari · Sep 26, 2016

And unfortunately, many administrators and even nurses give them a pass because "they're sick" or "they're under a lot of stress." Being sick or under stress does not excuse hateful behavior.
Dementia may excuse it somewhat, but doesn't make it easier to take.

In all cases of distress and desperation, their true self is revieled.