Qing

You are not in a great environment. We are human and you need someone to say hey you should have done this or that... instead of why didn't you do etc. so you can learn. Your manager is not really helping so as others have voiced, get out while you can. There will be other places that will support you or colleagues that will take you under their wings to make you stronger and better prepared, as well feel confident in yourself. I worked in a place I did not feel supported before and in the end, I left so I would not lose myself. Protect yourself and go somewhere else before you snap.

Congratulations!!! Don't doubt yourself and sell yourself short. Believe in yourself and do your best. You will learn along the way and become more confident in yourself as you get more experience. There will be different personalities to deal with and have a thick skin. You can do it and congratulations again!!!

As TruvyNurse said, take it with a grain of salt. Some people are just going to be nasty and you will learn how to deal with different personalities. There was this fellow nurse I worked with and it was never pleasant to deal with person. Always putting you down and not willing to help anybody at all. This nurse when you ask if you could help or anything needed to be done... well you got excuses. I later found out from another nurse that the person lied and always tried to make it look like they were super nurse. The reality was this nurse went back after and did whatever you just asked if they needed help with. At the same time, this nurse was always critical of little things not done. You are not going to be perfect and we all make mistakes. Your best defense with this nurse is to provide her with the essential information for report and leave it at that. Also, build a thick face and stay calm under their critique of things you did. Do not respond to the critical comments and just provide information that is related to the patient care. You will get better and more confident in yourself as you get more experience. Guess what? I am sure that nurse has days/nights that they cannot keep up and are behind the whole time.... so don't be so hard on yourself.

You posted in a lot of detail and the environment you are in is putting your license and life at risk. You are working for free and there is a big labor issue here, so take a big step and quit. No need for notice and the last thing you want is for you to lose your license. It is better you walk away now then face a nightmare of something happening and being seen at the one at fault by the state boards. Please do not feel guilty and take care of yourself physically and mentally. This job is not worth losing your license over at all. You will find another position elsewhere and research the facility before you accept the offer.

I don't know where this qualifies, but when I was a student there was an elderly who kept asking for help. There was a foreign device in her pelvic area and could not recall how it got there. Now apart from the confusion this patient had and calling for help in a bird like voice... laboratory values were not abnormal either or outrageous. Initial treatment was for possible UTI and further exploration led to a big surprise. Here is the kicker... you know what was the " irregular shaped foreign body"? It was a vibrator that somehow got stuck up there and how long it was there... no idea.It was surgically removed and I have no idea if the family was fully aware what brought their loved one to the hospital.

Okay as others have said... get your union involved ASAP. I had a bad experience several years ago when I first graduated nursing and passed the exams. DO NOT meet management or answer any questions without your union representative present. The union representative will help you with those questions about cameras, the process and next steps. HR will be involved and the last thing you need to do inadvertently say something they can use against you. There will be a difference when you involve the union, and management will be a lot more cautious in how they present themselves. You were surprised by this news and you need all the advice you can get to deal with this. Let the union help you because your emotions may get the best of you and leave you vulnerable to not act with a clear mind.

His behavior can be considered harassment and can escalate. He knows where you work and its his way to try to reach you. He has crossed the line and his behavior is not appropriate. I have a story about someone I worked with. Very nice person and someone would always call asking for this person. I think the caller was a former patient from several years ago (more than 5 years plus- not exactly sure). This person I worked with never wanted to talk to this person and always avoided talking to the caller. For those who knew, we would not reveal the information if so and so was here or working. Now not everyone knew that so sometimes someone would tell that the person was not there. So if you think the calling is not creepy, what I am telling you happened. DON'T even consider dating this person and be firm with the boundaries. The last thing you want is to lose your sense of security.

Okay... you shouldn't be sleeping when you're supposed to be alert. This is separate from taking a break where you can do whatever you please, including a power nap, etc. Someone I worked with was famous for sleeping for a long period of time and I wonder how this person never got in trouble. But there are people who have got caught and terminated on the spot. So tired yes we all are during night shift, but still be aware and alert. You never know when management decides to make a surprise visit in the wee hours to check on you. Since we knew and had a warning whenever someone was in house... we turned back the lights that were dimmed to make it darker and cleaned up the unit to make it look fresh.

Hospitals do not hire based on looks and someone who has skills to take care of the sick is their main concern. Who cares if you are not that tall and it should not be a factor in you deciding to apply to healthcare. I have known a couple of not so tall nurses that had no issues with doing their work. As someone else has mentioned in other replies, its your skill that really counts. And getting skin care that works will make you feel better. I have an issue with oily skin and scars too, so finding skincare that works for you will make a big difference. Go for it and apply! Don't let anything stop you and believe in yourself. Give yourself a fair chance at everything and don't be so hard on yourself.

I think this nurse was upset you didn't write the adjusted times for her. And yes, as others have said she is trying to throw you under the bus. You didn't cause the error so brush it off. Just be wary of people like that and always cover your butt. It doesn't matter how nice or great the person you are working with... just cover yourself from things like this. Not everyone is going to be accommodating in writing new times for the medication, but greatly appreciated if you do. You will get more confident and stronger from experiences like this. Take it as a learning experience that some expect more from you, but you are not obligated to put in the new times for her. She should have picked that up and realized the timing would not match... then reschedule the next dose.

Ned RN has really good advice. I tried travel nursing and you know what? He is on point about the termination point. Someone or the place can say things that are not true and it gets you terminated. Been There Done That also gave me good insight about the microscope you are under when you do travel nursing. Because of the experience I had with travel nursing, it makes me wary about it. The hours are not guaranteed and the scheduling of shifts when you travel are ridiculous at times. The facility can change your schedule and try to take advantage of you being there for a short period of time. Not all places are like that, but there are some like that. You have to think about your license too, because there is that possibility of someone lying out of spite or just because they don't like you. So before you go travel nursing, just think it through and decide if its really worth it.

They want a manager.... the place I worked in was a small place and I do own my part for not being as aware of the politics. As an outsider I was always treated differently and I worked a lot harder to earn any respect from them. So when I left, it wasn't a good experience and the person I asked if they could be a reference did not want to do it. Since I moved on from that place, I never looked back and have learned a lot. There were a couple charge nurses that I knew there, but I don't trust them at all. So if I could, I would but I have doubts about getting someone who I can trust there to give a reference. They only asked for 2 that they would contact, so I hope that will be enough. As for getting a copy of the personnel file, I don't know how long that will take at all.

Thanks KelRN215 and Sour Lemon, I think I understand it better and see what you both are saying. I don't expect to get a reference from the first job as it wasn't the best experience. I have the other option of requesting a copy of personnel file, which should not say much in there.

Okay, I get the feeling that you are in an environment that really doesn't support team work or working together for the greater good. There are those people who hold things against you just because you are different (whether justified or not). Jealousy is a big problem, where people don't realize that just because you have a title or appear like everything is good... it could be far from it. How you present yourself could make a difference too, as they may not see you as how you think you present yourself. The way you are describing things, I think it is better you get another position somewhere else, its not worth your health and mind to suffer like this. You are miserable and it is better you are happy. Not every place is like this, but its not worth it for you to stay there and be miserable. If people could be more mature and work together for the greater good, there wouldn't be so many problems.

Thanks Sour Lemon, I really hope I get the job. I doubt I can get a reference from that place, but I can request a copy of my file there.