"working" when you're off...

[blamejoe]

I have to vent. I can't stand that I never seem to have time off. When I'm not at work, I still get the calls about, " my kid swallowed...", " my mom is ..." etc. family, friends, fbook persons, etc. it's as if people can't respect the fact that this is my work, I do it because 1) I am really good at it, and 2) I know I make a big difference in the lives of countless people. The ones who make it the worst are the ones who complain incessantly about how much healthcare costs, how bad their experiences with healthcare are, or how they don't really need health treatment because "hospitals just want your money...". Aren't we ever entitled to time off? I am a great nurse, a wonderful boss, and an award-winning clinician. I feel I was meant to be a caregiver, that my contribution to this world is the improved health of my community, and that my Lord will honor me because I choose (and succeed) in doing His bidding for His children. However, I feel guilty for trying to get more than 5 hours of sleep before work, because the phone/email/texts/fbook never stops. Why do people demand that we serve their needs whenever they see fit, yet complain about our profession at every opportunity? This is my job, and I rely on it to pay my bills, feed my family, contribute to my life with my fiancé, and fulfill my niche in this life. So why do I feel that everyone who asks for my help when I am off duty are merely looking for a handout? Why does it seem that the same people who complain about the ACA, and preach the agenda of capitalism, think I ought to take care of them for free at all hours of the night? Is it just that I'm sensitive to our political time of year and the fact that I've seen the RNC in every patient room all week? I'm supposed to be at work in. 7hours and instead I am awake upset at the world for not letting me sleep. Advice would help, please.

[realnursealso/LPN, LPN]

My friends know my stock answer, "If I tell you something and it's wrong you could sue me. I can't afford that!" Also, I say, "Yes, it looks terrible, go to your doctor or urgent care(depending on the time of day, or day of the week) right away. The later usually elicits this response. "Wow, you're a nurse and if you think it's that bad I'll go right away." I don't allow my friends to put me in that position. Remember, you're a nurse, not a doctor, you wouldn't want to be arrested for practicing medicine without a license.

[unicoRNurse]

I agree with a lot of the advice already offered (clearly-communicated boundaries; phone and computer in a room you are not trying to sleep in, etc.)

I would also ask if you are one of those people who say, "Call anytime, day or night -- I'm here for you!" or "Don't hesitate to contact me if you have any problems," etc. to your friends/family/colleagues, maybe without being aware of what you are actually saying. (Kind of like people with pools who casually invite friends and neighbors to "come over and swim any time" -- you really don't want random people showing up and swimming in your pool whenever the spirit moves them. But you DID say they could swim any time... See what I mean?) Anyway, there is a reason your colleagues feel fine about contacting you at home with work-related issues, and it could even be as simple as habit. I personally do everything in my power to avoid calling someone at home pertaining to work, and I would expect that most people would do the same unless they were a) clueless, or b) permitted/encouraged (by you or others) to call someone at his/her home.

Lastly, and I truly mean no disrespect when I say this, but as good as you are at your job, the place would probably continue to function if you were (heaven forbid) hit by the proverbial bus tomorrow, right? Someone, or several someones, would have to step up. Perhaps you can identify who those people might be and delegate -- shift the responsibility you are taking home with you onto the people who are actually in the building and on the clock when you are not. Then let everyone know that "Jane" is the go-to person when you are not in the building, leave work behind, and enjoy your time off.

Just a thought; good luck to you!

[Stcroix, ASN, PhD, RN]

Caller ID

[itsmejuli]

I'm a home health supervisor in a large seniors' lodge, I supervise HCAs and coordinate care. My hours can be anything between 0600 and 2200.

Today I planned on going in around 1400.

I woke up, grabbed a coffee and decided to look at email and turned on my phone at 0800. Ha! You guessed it, stuff was going on and so off to the lodge I went. So once again I missed seeing what was going on on the evening shift. It would be so easy for me to go over 40 hours but I restrain myself from getting too involved. We do have on-call staff to handle things when I'm not available.

The problems could have been handled from the office.

Lessons learned: don't check email and don't turn on the phone. Change voicemail to indicate availability.

[2BRN123]

It seems to me that there is a lot of back patting and self-agrandizing going on here. Perhaps if you spent less time announcing how terrific you were and trying to be the center of attention, people would stop talking to you when you want to be off.

Also, you clearly need to learn the art of making boundaries in your life.

Just thought a little reality speak was needed here.

That seems a little extreme ^

I think OP is entitled to be proud of themselves and their work. Not sure how we read that they're trying to be the "center of attention". This "working when you're off" stuff happens pretty much to everyone I know that works in any specialized area.... that isn't a paper pushing office job.

My mother is a prime example. She has been working in litigation for over 20 years and any time anyone needs a title transferred, a support order modified, a divorce settled, a DUI handled..... every Tom, Dick and Harry is ringing her phone for "advice". My uncle... a contractor. Broken dishwasher? Ceiling caved in? Pipe leak? Circuit breaker? Clogged flue? everyone and their mother is calling him for ..."a quickie fix". Free-loader culture is everywhere, OP you're not alone. It's especially difficult with family and close friends.... and spreads like a virus once something emergent happens to one of THEIR best friend... and THEIR brothers kid... and so on and so on.... then you're known as the "go-to" person. But you're NOT the go to person... the only thing you want to "go to" is BED!

I agree with another poster that said to work on your go-to lines. "Thats really outside the scope of my practice, I recommend you call Ms. xxx" or whatever.

I do hear ya on this:

Why do people demand that we serve their needs whenever they see fit, yet complain about our profession at every opportunity?

Isn't it odd how Lawyers are over priced sheisters, cops are out of control jerks, nurses are lazy and over paid, contractors are liars and crooks...... UUUUUUNNNNNTTIL:

They get a parking ticket...or an infection....or a broken window.... and want someone to help them for free...

[brandy1017, ASN, RN]

What bugs me is the constant almost daily calls from the hospital we're short looking for help! Hire some more staff already! On the other hand, there is plenty of overtime to go around in this field. I just turn the answering machine off and don't let them ruin my day off! Also caller iD is a wonderful thing!

[wooh, BSN, RN]

Why do people demand that we serve their needs whenever they see fit, yet complain about our profession at every opportunity?

Ugh, so true. Ergh!

No real advice from me other than agreeing with those who've advised setting boundaries. I've found that as long as I don't mention that I'm a nurse to old people (who of course will then start listing all of their maladies and their friends'/families' maladies), I don't get asked often enough to get too burned out.

[NurseDirtyBird]

I have to agree with the sentiment that nurses are never "off duty" to the general public. My significant other is in law enforcement and has similar issues. People come to our house to "report" the dog running loose through the neighborhood then threaten to complain to my husband's supervisors when he tells them he's off duty and they can call the police their ownselves. Of course if it were a real emergency, it would be a different story. Friends and family get mad at me when they ask, "Why would my doctor prescribe such and such instead of this drug?" and I say, "I don't know. Did you ask your doctor?"

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Boundaries are the key to everything. Learn to say no. You should not feel this obligated to family and friends. My ringer is off most of the time on my phone. I answer emails when I have time, and my standard answer when family/ friends seek medical advice, "I can't know, especially when I haven't assessed. Make a Dr's appointment."

[DowntheRiver]

Just consider yourself lucky that you don't live in Tampa right now. I do, and FML! :) I commute 30 minutes across a bridge to school in St. Pete and it has destroyed my week. With that in mind, my husband's parents keep asking me medical questions. It's really hard not to snap at them. I only just started my 3rd quarter. I know nothing. I will know nothing until I hit the five year mark!

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

A lawyer that I once worked with had this quote by Abraham Lincoln in his office: "A lawyer's time and advice are his stock in trade." The same holds true for medical professionals.

[Gootie]

Bottom line, set you limits and boundaries. You are the only one who can! People who really love you will get it and not mind at all!

Right, learn to say NO!!! And stop tooting your own horn because if you constantly do...others will want to as well. So don't be mad when they need a favor.