It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
When my kids are grown Christmas will be just another day to me and I could care less if I work all if them.
But that was a pretty rude thing of your coworker to say.
On the other hand, when your kids are little, you see them everyday. When they are grown and on their own, you don't. My adult kids live in Portland, OR, and Bakersfield, CA. So my holidays with them, when that is possible, are very precious. But as I've stated before, any time we have with them is precious, so we make the most of it whenever we are blessed with their presence.
I am soooo happy that I work in an outpatient clinic. No weekends, no holidays, no nights - and I get paid the same as I would in the hospital as the clinic is associated with a major HMO/Hospital. Oh, and I'm pagan and kidless and I still celebrate the holidays on Christmas day. Those of you with kids who haaaaave to have the holiday off can do what I've done and then there's no worries, no switching, etc.
I work in outpatient surgery- no wkends, holidays, no call, pay is higher than the hospital affiliated w/us. We have the day after C'mas/NY day off too. After putting in years of working every other holiday/wkend while my kids were little, now that they're in college we can get together for holiday vacations, skiing, etc. & celebrate C'mas. We always celebrated C'mas day/or eve- whichever worked out for my schedule/shifts- when they were little. I have no sympathy for whiners who think they should get "special" consideration b/c they have small children- been there, done that, did my time. Most of us had kids, all had to take turns, that's life as a nurse when you work for a hospital.
my parents have married and divorced several times over since i was kid....my mother and her 3rd husband have spent christmas eves, christmas days and other holidays with my step-father (who actually raised me) and his 3rd wife when we have all gotten together. sometimes people who don't understand step-relationships look at me like i've developed a 3rd eye....i cringe when i hear how people use their children as weapons during and after a divorce. it is so unfair to the kids....and there was not always a lot of love lost in my family, but i never knew that until i was much older...
now, my 1-year old grandaughter is being raised by her father as my daughter couldn't deal with another child as a single mom. last night he, his girlfriend of a year, and my grandaughter came over for dinner before going to her parents' house. we had presents for everyone and thoroughly enjoyed the visit. is there only so much love people can share? that reminds me of my husband telling me he was afraid to have a second child because could he love it as much as our first?!?! puleeeeeze!
sometimes there's too much emphasis on the blood shared between people...it's what's in a person's heart that says more about a person than what they "owe" someone because they are in the same family.
well, that's a lot off topic, but i did want to say i love this quote: christmas, children, is not a date. it is a state of mind. ~mary ellen chase
that's exactly how i feel....my husband was a cop for 15 years and worked graveyard many years and also away from home for 2 years. we celebrated late in the day, early in the day, and on one occasion -- on the saturday after christmas when we had 32 people over since everyone didn't have other obligations. to this day, that is my kids and my favorite memory of christmas!! i will be starting a program in the fall, and understand shiftwork will be a part of my obligation. grandkids, kids, holidays, whatever....
Actually it's not weird, it's wonderful. My grandmother had a hard time coping with my mother's loss and has NEVER gotten along with my stepmother. It was difficult for me and my siblings dealing with the anamosity between them growing up. I think it is wonderful that you have developed a closeness with this woman.
Thank you for your nice post. I am sorry about your situation, it must have been hard for everyone. I hope you have a Merry Christmas!!!
You are 100% correct. I have two kids and realize that the medical profession requires weekends and holidays. If someone can't handle that - they need not apply.
You started this thread in October and since then who would have thought you'd get over 360 replies! Obviously, you have really touched a nerve and those who go want to go into nursing need to know that holiday work is not an option, it's a must (unless you work in a doc's office or other such setting).
I just wanted to say I hope you enjoyed your well-deserved day off! :)
From prior post: "In all honesty, I would rather be able to be at my daughters games or plays throughout the year than on one or two days that only come once a year. Just my humble opinion ."
I'm in total agreement. I would be much more willing to work a holiday vs. my daughter's graduation, my son's playoff games, etc. Some things are once a year....but some are once in a lifetime.
I'M WITH YOU FRIEND - I AM 34, NO KIDS, AND I GET THE SAME THING ALL THE TIME, WITH THE SCHEDULE AND JUST WITH LIFE IN GENERAL. MY SISTER SOMETIMES MAKES ME FEEL LIKE, OR TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE, I AM LESS OF A WOMAN OR I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOME THINGS B/C I DON'T HAVE KIDS. I AM SORRY THAT SOMEONE DID THAT TO YOU B/C I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. :yeahthat: I FEEL VERY CLOSE TO MY FAMILY AND WANT TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH THEM AND MY HUSBAND JUST AS MUCH AS THEY DO WITH THEIR KIDS. JUST OVER LOOK PEOPLE LIKE THAT. :angryfire
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU - AND CONGRATS FOR GETTING BOTH DAYS OFF!!
I'M WITH YOU FRIEND - I AM 34, NO KIDS, AND I GET THE SAME THING ALL THE TIME, WITH THE SCHEDULE AND JUST WITH LIFE IN GENERAL. MY SISTER SOMETIMES MAKES ME FEEL LIKE, OR TRIES TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE, I AM LESS OF A WOMAN OR I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOME THINGS B/C I DON'T HAVE KIDS. I AM SORRY THAT SOMEONE DID THAT TO YOU B/C I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. 
:yeahthat: I FEEL VERY CLOSE TO MY FAMILY AND WANT TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH THEM AND MY HUSBAND JUST AS MUCH AS THEY DO WITH THEIR KIDS. JUST OVER LOOK PEOPLE LIKE THAT. :angryfire 
SmilingBluEyes
20,964 Posts
That MIL situation is just wonderful. Just goes to show, we CAN pick our "relatives"----well really, family. Merry Christmas.