It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
....Oh my god after reading this post....I almost cried because the other day @ work one of my co-workers basically told me it was unfair I got Christmas off even though I don't celebrate it!!! I am a muslim! I guess because I offered to work thanksgiving, Mngt just gave me this day off. In any case I had already switched days with a co-worker of mine who asked me (nicely) to switch days with her.
The thing that really upset me the most was that I always switch Thanksgiven & Christmas with my friends at work because it means SO much to them & for me it's like any other day. by the way she also said this to me as I was inside a pt's room doing 'stuff' & so I couldn't really respond @ the time. No, I don't think he heard her. Just sharing:wink2:
Anyway I wish u all happy holidays with your loved ones.
So sorry you were treated this way. Glad you were able to switch with another nicer coworker since you do acknowledge that it doesn't matter as much to you.....but this other nurse was WAY out of line with her comment and if I were you I would report her.
....Oh my god after reading this post....I almost cried because the other day @ work one of my co-workers basically told me it was unfair I got Christmas off even though I don't celebrate it!!! I am a muslim! I guess because I offered to work thanksgiving, Mngt just gave me this day off. In any case I had already switched days with a co-worker of mine who asked me (nicely) to switch days with her.
The thing that really upset me the most was that I always switch Thanksgiven & Christmas with my friends at work because it means SO much to them & for me it's like any other day. by the way she also said this to me as I was inside a pt's room doing 'stuff' & so I couldn't really respond @ the time. No, I don't think he heard her. Just sharing:wink2:
Anyway I wish u all happy holidays with your loved ones.
That nurse had no right to speak to you that way... I agree she needs to be reported. Really irks me people acting like that.
Muslims, or other religions, have their 'holidays' don't they?
You could work Christmas for someone that celebrates it, and that person could work on one of your holy days for you.
What's wrong with that? I don't see this as a reason to be reported, other than the nurse saying it in a patients room. (Unless it was just said down-right rude.)
Muslims, or other religions, have their 'holidays' don't they?
You could work Christmas for someone that celebrates it, and that person could work on one of your holy days for you.
What's wrong with that? I don't see this as a reason to be reported, other than the nurse saying it in a patients room. (Unless it was just said down-right rude.)
Good idea about switching days!
I don't see why it would be reason to report someone either. Maybe someone can answer...Why report someone for this...can't you just talk to their face? What is it about people jumping to reporting someone for minor things rather than being adults and having a face to face? Now, if someone's safety or life is in jeopardy...report away. But, if we are talking about someone's feelings being hurt, get a backbone and discuss the situation. Sometimes people may come off in a way they don't intend.
Bringing management into little tiffs is such a waste of their own time and it kind of reminds me of hiding behind mommy's apron. I only report people who are breaking laws or harming patients. Those are real issues that need to be dealt with immediately. Other than that, I can talk with them and get problems resolved together.
As a single mother it is impossible to get childcare on Christmas day!
Personally I would love the Holiday pay, but I don't have anyone to watch the kiddos. I appreciate it when people help out by letting me have the Holiday off, I reapy them by working during thier vacation time.
I don't demand this help but I really need it until the kids are older. Single parents some time have events that are out of thier control. Such as a battered wife in hiding from her husband who has noone to safely leave her children with. People need to have some compassion and lend a helping hand, B/c some day you might need help
I don't quite understand this: you want someone to work for you on a day when they are off and you "repay" them by working a day when they are already scheduled off (vacation). That sounds like a gift to management, not to your co-worker.
I was a single mom when my kids were little and I worked my holidays. It's part of the 24/7 type of employment we've chosen. We all know that when we take the jobs, and I don't understand why one's "limitations" have to be solved by others working every time something comes up. Planning ahead works wonders.
Sometimes despite planning ahead things don't work out.
As a single mom, who watched your kids on hristmas? Family?
Sometimes people literally have NO ONE. That is when we act like the compassionate adults that we are and help out! I am not saying that just because you have kids you should automatically get a Holiday off..thats ridiculous. Sometimes people can't help things. I took off two days before christmas b/c my son had a fever with an ear infection. He had an allergic reaction to the meds and developed the worst case of hives his peds had seen in 20 yrs OVER CHRISTMAS. I had to bring in my sick one year old boy to PROVE to my boss that he was sick and I wasn't trying to skip out of working christmas:angryfire . Where is the compassion folks?
I've lived 1500 miles from family since just after college. When I worked the holidays, my kids stayed with people from my church, who were like family to all of us. I also had a very good relationship with many of my co-workers who were happy to include my children in their festivities until I could get off work. And one Christmas, when I had to work overtime, my 7th grader who had the chicken pox was home with my 1st grader, who had a ruptured eardrum. So I know how things can happen. Having a sick child is not the same as wanting the holiday off because you're a single mom. It's a valid excuse and I'm sorry you had to take the child in to prove he was ill. However, if there's a pattern of wanting your holiday off because you never have child care coverage, I'm sure your boss would, at the very least, wonder if this was another case of that.
My boss was upset because the day after thanksgiving my wee one had pneumonia. She thought I was skipping out until I showed up in with a Radiology report from that day showing my child had pneumonia. Kids never get sick a convenient times.:stone
Totally off thread but how do you approach someone to let your child crash thier Christmas? I might have to do that someday, but I want to do it tactfuly. Any suggestions?
Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
What's wrong with that? I don't see this as a reason to be reported, other than the nurse saying it in a patients room. (Unless it was just said down-right rude.)
This is why I would report it (keep in mind that I am Christian here and a Catholic to beat all:rotfl: ).....religious intolerance and persecution runs rampant in this country. It is no worse than racism, sexism, ageism, or any other 'ism' as another poster mentioned. The comment was not only unsolicited, but it was said to attack one's religion and personal values, and in front of a patient. Of course, it would be MOST appropriate to approach this nurse with, "Hey, when you said such and such it made me *feel* ....please don't...." etc. BUT, I also have a feeling that in this situation it probably won't be very effective, it will escalate, and you will end up reporting this nurse ANYWAY.....but that is besides the point.
The point is that you should never EVER let another person challenge your values, intentions, motives, character, or RIGHT to do something like take a day off.....based on your religion. This nurse is one of many that give Christians a bad rap. She might as well have spit in the Muslim nurses face as far as I am concerned. And I think that her comment and behavoir should be reported and she should be counseled on cultural awareness and tact.....after all...I am sure she deals with all patients under the rainbow and it wouldn't be acceptable for her to treat a patient this way.
Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
I don't see why it would be reason to report someone either. Maybe someone can answer...Why report someone for this...can't you just talk to their face? What is it about people jumping to reporting someone for minor things rather than being adults and having a face to face? Now, if someone's safety or life is in jeopardy...report away. But, if we are talking about someone's feelings being hurt, get a backbone and discuss the situation. Sometimes people may come off in a way they don't intend.
Face to face will only get you so far and can create unwanted drama and escalate into verbal/physical violence........ESPECIALLY when you are talking about religion! Just look at how heated and thriving this debate has been at times......
If this woman was truly an 'adult' she would NOT have said what she said, where she said it, in the manner that she said it.....
I have a very VERY strong backbone and a mouth to back it up, but sometimes one's cultural ignorance/religious tolerance is beyond any enlightenment that I could/wish to bestow upon them and they must KNOW that religious discrimination and intolerance will not be tolerated.
Specializes in Critical Care, Pediatrics, Geriatrics.
Sometimes despite planning ahead things don't work out.
As a single mom, who watched your kids on hristmas? Family?
Sometimes people literally have NO ONE. That is when we act like the compassionate adults that we are and help out! I am not saying that just because you have kids you should automatically get a Holiday off..thats ridiculous. Sometimes people can't help things. I took off two days before christmas b/c my son had a fever with an ear infection. He had an allergic reaction to the meds and developed the worst case of hives his peds had seen in 20 yrs OVER CHRISTMAS. I had to bring in my sick one year old boy to PROVE to my boss that he was sick and I wasn't trying to skip out of working christmas:angryfire . Where is the compassion folks?
Its just some of the other few nurses that are less flexible and EXPECT to have the holiday off come hell or high water, that has ruined it for you and everyone else
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nurse4theplanet, RN
1,377 Posts
So sorry you were treated this way. Glad you were able to switch with another nicer coworker since you do acknowledge that it doesn't matter as much to you.....but this other nurse was WAY out of line with her comment and if I were you I would report her.