"Sharing Humour"

[Dinatg]

So in class today, the teacher confirmed something for me: when medical professionals make jokes, it's not to help the patients like they claim, it's really for themselves (providing some distance between themselves and the patient).

I'm still upset over the doctor I had during my teenage years and a nursing friend I had during those years cracking jokes about my body issues, and wanting to be treated like heroes afterward. Hopefully this will help lessen my discomfort when I go to clinical.

[evastone, BSN, RN]

So have there been times when you've been the patient, and you felt better because a pro used humour?

Most of my positive experiences with doctors involved them telling jokes.

I know this wasn't with a doctor but this story is still one of my favorites. When I was a high school senior I remember a phlebotomist taking my blood telling me "If anyone ever wants to know your blood type, it's red." I use that joke on almost every patient I poke. It's especially helpful with my younger patients.

[Dinatg]

Seriously? You're giving me advice from an organization that advocates a father's right to beat his children and a man's right to beat his wife?

[Dinatg]

That last post is at Kitiger by the way.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

I had a wonderful psychiatrist who infused levity into our sessions in a way that always made me feel better when I left his office than when I walked in. He never poked fun at me or made light of my situation, of course, but he did help me find ways to see the humor in almost everything, even though what I was dealing with was very serious. He also told some great stories, as we were both clinicians and spoke the same language. I understood him and he understood me, and the four years I was with him went a long way toward healing from my illness. I have another good psychiatrist now but he is much more conservative and serious than the first one.

[Dinatg]

"Or you can spend your life filled with hate, anger, and pain. You choose. "

No. The choice is between keeping my guard up or letting people walk all over me.

Honestly, I'm not liking where this is going. Quite frankly, if this is how nurses act, then maybe nursing isn't for me.

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

Yeah, if you can laugh at a patient's problems, then they must not be serious.

Let me offer you some advice for free.

If you are hoping to be a registered nurse you need to take your own issues out of the equation. Your patients need you to provide a service, professionally and appropriately without you bringing your own baggage to the table.

Broad statements are exactly that, broad statements which do not apply to everyone by any stretch of the imagination. Its crap what happened to you when you were younger. Not all health professionals are like that by any stretch of the imagination.

And forgiving people who wronged you is not about making them feel better, nor does it make you weak or should it line you up for more abuse.

its about helping you to let go of what happened to you and not getting eaten up by anger and unforgiveness

[Tenebrae, BSN, RN]

"Or you can spend your life filled with hate, anger, and pain. You choose. "

No. The choice is between keeping my guard up or letting people walk all over me.

Honestly, I'm not liking where this is going. Quite frankly, if this is how nurses act, then maybe nursing isn't for me.

And perhaps it isnt at this point in time.

Because if you don't deal with your own issues and past hurts, it has the potential to make you an incredibly unsafe nurse who does more harm than good.

And before you want to tell me what an appalling human being I am. I have an extensive history of mental health issues and I was in the local mental health unit for over three years back in my early 20s. I had to deal with a nurse who forced me to strip naked in front of six nurses, three of them male. Who illegally restrained and secluded me (which interestingly enough I didnt find out this was illegal until I did my mental health placement) and then proceeded to lie about it in the offical documentation. Where we come from, a seclusion needs to be documented in the patients progress notes, as well as ordered by the doctor and regular checks carried out while the patient is in seclusion.

If I'm honest its one event that still makes me feel angry, because i know if something like that was done today every single nurse and health professional involved would be facing disciplinary action and possible deregistration.

However one of the best revenges was running into that nurse responsible many years later, and when asked what I was doing telling the nurse I was now a registered nurse working in the same area they were. And the whole experience taught me so much about the type of nurse I will never ever be.

And I'm not. If I screw up and make a mistake, I own it regardless of the consequences. I will never ever be someone who does something abusive and illegal and then lies about it in the offical documentation

Actually I'm going to challenge you to not keep allowing your past experiences to define you. Letting go of what happened to you does not mean you are weak or you are giving the person permission to keep hurting you. It allows you to move on.

If you want to be a nurse, be a nurse.

You have the ability to be anything you choose to put your mind to.

[Orion81RN]

"Or you can spend your life filled with hate, anger, and pain. You choose. "

No. The choice is between keeping my guard up or letting people walk all over me.

There is a difference between setting healthy boundaries and keeping your guard up. The latter being unhealthy.

You can also choose to forgive someone and STILL not let yourself get walked over. There are some people in my life that I've given them their fair chances. They screwed me over more than once, so now I love them from a distance. I have peace of mind. I'm not stewing allowing them to get to me anymore. It's part of maturity.

Quite frankly, if this is how nurses act, then maybe nursing isn't for me.

You're right. Maybe you really aren't ready to be in healthcare.

Or maybe nursing school with help you mature emotionally.

You clearly have a lot of bitterness, and I think talking with a professional would help.

[JBudd, MSN]

I have joked with patients dying of cancer. For anyone to comprehend or explain why laughing at death can be a good thing would take a 20 volume encyclopedia. Or simply someone with common sense and a sense of humor.

No it does not mean their problem is not serious!

absolutely! we renamed my breast cancers "the beastly conundrum", and mocked it. When my son was misdiagnosed with a brain tumor (long story), I called him "rotten brain boy" in front of one the cancer radiologists. Oh you should have seen his face! My son laughed. I make some of the worst jokes about my husband dying just to get out of facing driver's ed when the kids became teens. (God, I miss him).

[brownbook]

absolutely! we renamed my breast cancers "the beastly conundrum", and mocked it. When my son was misdiagnosed with a brain tumor (long story), I called him "rotten brain boy" in front of one the cancer radiologists. Oh you should have seen his face! My son laughed. I make some of the worst jokes about my husband dying just to get out of facing driver's ed when the kids became teens. (God, I miss him).

Your post brought tears to my eyes.

I'm convinced Dinatg is a troll but it was worth it to read your response.

[twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN]

And perhaps it isnt at this point in time.

Because if you don't deal with your own issues and past hurts, it has the potential to make you an incredibly unsafe nurse who does more harm than good.

And before you want to tell me what an appalling human being I am. I have an extensive history of mental health issues and I was in the local mental health unit for over three years back in my early 20s. I had to deal with a nurse who forced me to strip naked in front of six nurses, three of them male. Who illegally restrained and secluded me (which interestingly enough I didnt find out this was illegal until I did my mental health placement) and then proceeded to lie about it in the offical documentation. Where we come from, a seclusion needs to be documented in the patients progress notes, as well as ordered by the doctor and regular checks carried out while the patient is in seclusion.

If I'm honest its one event that still makes me feel angry, because i know if something like that was done today every single nurse and health professional involved would be facing disciplinary action and possible deregistration.

However one of the best revenges was running into that nurse responsible many years later, and when asked what I was doing telling the nurse I was now a registered nurse working in the same area they were. And the whole experience taught me so much about the type of nurse I will never ever be.

And I'm not. If I screw up and make a mistake, I own it regardless of the consequences. I will never ever be someone who does something abusive and illegal and then lies about it in the offical documentation

Actually I'm going to challenge you to not keep allowing your past experiences to define you. Letting go of what happened to you does not mean you are weak or you are giving the person permission to keep hurting you. It allows you to move on.

If you want to be a nurse, be a nurse.

You have the ability to be anything you choose to put your mind to.

I am in awe over here that you are so willing to speak out. Thank you for sharing!

[JBudd, MSN]

Yeah, if you can laugh at a patient's problems, then they must not be serious.

You missed the point, I laugh with the patient, not at! People imagine the worst, I try to bring the anxiety down a bit.