"Please pray for me to pass"...?

[RNsRWe]

As a frequent 'assistant' (at least, I think I'm helping!) on the NCLEX Discussion Forum, I see something posted over and over and over again. It's a very common theme, actually, and although in the past it didn't much bother me, it has been getting more and more under my skin. I know those who post it obviously don't look for discussion on that topic, but...on THIS forum, it seemed most appropriate :)

I frequently see people who have failed the NCLEX more than once (or more than twice, or more than three times) who will write "please pray for me". Are there really people out there who add to their personal prayers "oh, and G-d? Please help FailedNclex-3x to pass her exam" ?

Seems to be pretty low-brow for G-d, doesn't it? As if The Almighty WOULD have 'let' FailedNclex-3 fail yet again, BUT FOR the prayer from someone on AN...nope, that tilted the wheel the other way and now a PASS is in order!

I cannot see myself EVER thinking to ask G-d for something like that. Pray to understand why things happen the way they do. Pray to ask for strength through a difficult time. Pray to find goodness where there doesn't seem to be much....pray for assistance, but not for personal gain.

Maybe that's it. People are asking for personal gain. I wouldn't pray for someone to win the lottery, I wouldn't pray for them to get into grad school. I'd wish them well, I'm going to "send happy thoughts", I'm going to hope they succeed. But PRAY for this?? No.

I also believe that thanks are in order when one has a success such as passing the NCLEX: thank your spouse and kids and family and friends for putting UP with you while you went to school and while you studied for the exam. Thank the financial institution that fronted you the money, if you like. And yes, thank G-d for the ability to get through it all! But IMHO there's also a difference between thanking Ad'nai for strength, courage, determination, etc and thanking the Holy One for passing a test. YOU, the TEST-TAKER, took and passed the test! He might have been 'with' you in the testing center (strength, support) but He sure wasn't taking that test FOR you!

So no, don't say it was G-d who 'allowed' you to pass the test. If you passed, you EARNED it. Give thanks where it's due, but....remember the limits of what you'd "get" for your prayers, too :)

[B52, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN]

If you studied, paid attention and were taught well, you have the tools to pass the NCLEX. There's no need to ask me, a stranger, to pray for you. When I passed - on the first attempt - I emailed my instructors and thanked them for doing a good job.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Y'know, not long back I responded (with congratulations) to someone who was ecstatic (naturally!) at having passed the test. She had attributed ALL of her success to G'd; no other possibility, it was ALL G'd's doing.

I said that while praise was certainly due Him, HE wasn't the one who had prepared for, studied for, and taken that exam: that was the member! I said that SHE was due much praise for having succeeded.

Well.

One person commented that I was "sad" for saying such a thing. Sad? For saying that if one earns something, that should be recognized, and not EVERYTHING had to be because G'd granted it? I don't remember being taught---ever---that one could not take credit if one deserves it.

The very happy Test Passer did insist it was all from G'd, she had absolutely no idea how she answered anything correctly, she swore she knew nothing and it was some kind of miracle. I say, if THAT is true, it'd be a miracle her patients survive.

No reason to be prideful, no reason to gloat. But if you DID something well.....allow it to be acknowledged as YOUR work. G'd has plenty of good things to His credit! :)

[bb007rn]

IMHO, better that those who failed NCLEX more than once spend more time studying, less time praying to pass!

[Conqueror+, BSN, RN]

Well it depends on what you believe. The bible clearly states that "you have not because you ask not" and that God will "give you the desires of your heart"and that "the prayes of the righteous availeth much". In a nutshell God DOES care about assisting us with our daily challenges regardless of what they are. People put a size on things but if you know who God is and believe you will understand that everything is small to him. I am not surprised at many of the attitudes expressed given that people treat the name of God like its a curse word though.

[Spangle Brown]

This is an issue we kind of need to understand in the Health care field. There have been studies dealing with the idea of positive thought. Prayer is a form of this. A positive attitude will have a better recovery then a person with a negative attitude. Hence our need to pay attention to this.

For Christians, the Bible mentions “Three or more gathering in my name”, and it is interesting that when groups do gather and focus positive (which should be what a prayer is) it does bring some energy to the group. (read what you will about that). Christians believe only they have this gift from God. However, I seen an experiment done by Art Bell, an overnight radio host, 15 or so years ago. Where he had his viewers focus their energies on a storm, to move it away from the US. It did, and scared the crap out of Art Bell; he refused to do that again. His reasoning, if he goes elsewhere, it might cause more damage elsewhere and he would feel responsible for it. He rather nature take it’s course and he would have no direct connection to the event. For those watching, it left no doubt the effects of mass group sending/thinking positive energy/thoughts/prayers towards one goal. Scary. Notice, all the listeners where not of the same faith or belief. For some, they were just sending positive energy and not praying.

Yes, a person should already know the information before they set down for the test. And I agree, God should not give a ‘free pass”, such a thought is silly. (to me) But many people believe they have studied as they should and deserve it. I would never pray for something like that. I would pray to help keep the person calm; to help them calmly remember their knowledge, so that they can answers the test questions.

Several posters mention being an atheist. “The Secret” and other positive energy ideas out there, don’t always deal with God being the center or cause. But the Universe itself and that it is available to anyone to use. Note the Art Bell experiment. As a Christian, I relate it to “Seek and ye shall find,” Another words if your looking for it, you will find it. Two people can look at the same picture, one seeing only the positive things, the other all the negative. It is what they were each seeking/searching/looking for. As well as “seek”, you need to go forth to seek. Put a little effort into it and do your part and THEN you shall find. Since this basic thought process can be found in just about all religions, it could also be said that it is just pure logic and God has nothing to do with it. As a Christian, I relate to the fact that everyone is God’s children and he loves everyone equally. Those that pray and those that don’t.

[bookwormom]

It seems to me that if you consider a posted request unrealistic or inappropriate in relation to your own beliefs, then all you have to do is ignore it. And if a prayer request speaks to you, why then, of course you can join in that prayer. But why criticize another person's approach to God, or their understanding of prayer? Surely we can respect individual differences.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Well it depends on what you believe. The bible clearly states that "you have not because you ask not" and that God will "give you the desires of your heart".....

I suppose taking these statements at face value can lead to a whole lot of misunderstandings. For instance do I "have not" a million dollars because I just didn't ask for it? If only I had prayed...?

What about the "desire of my heart"....I desire, REALLY desire a different kind of home than I have now, although it just is not attainable to me at this time. Probably not ever, LOL...but at face value, since it's the "desire of my heart", I have only to ask in prayer? Of course not. But....if you believe that this is what the Bible said, therefore it's exactly what is meant....it can lead to disappointment.

I'm not sure what attitudes you meant, really, regarding G-d's Name...I have only seen people being respectful in this discussion. I accept that there are those who disbelieve, because I have not been unwavering in my own beliefs through the years. I waver....I fall....I pick myself back up and work through it all again. Maybe I'm just rambling now, LOL!

[Jesuslover]

All I know is God helped me pass my NCLEX! Everybody has their own opinion so if you're thinking that it's not necessary for someone to pray for God to help them pass their board exam that's your own issue! Every single thing that I do the first thing that I do is pray! It doesn't mean I wouldn't study..yes I would study very hard and just ask God to help me with everything that I do. All I know is I am who I am because of God's Grace and mercies!!! It was not by my strength or anything but ONLY GOD!!! Stay blessed you all and yea all replies are welcome ??

[Lev, MSN, RN, NP]

I think that prayer does make a difference but many times it depends on the amount of human effort that was put into whatever is being asked for. God wants us to work for things. Not everything is free. Ultimately He is the One granting things, but our effort and general level of merit, which comes from being a moral and ethical person, and our general level of belief in His ability to grant our requests makes a difference. Prayer isn't for God. It's for us. When we humble ourself before our Creator, and realize we don't have it all and we need help sometimes, we become a different person than we were prior and hopefully then deserving of what we are praying for. This is the way collective prayer works, because the combined merit of everyone praying hopefully gives the prayer more strength.

[FlyingScot, RN]

So, I have a question for you then and I mean no disrespect as I am a Christian as well. If your premise is accurate does this mean that the prayer of the mother of a dying child is less strong than the prayer of a group of people? Does God give the group more of his ear because their combined merit makes them more valuable? And when did merit even become and issue?

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

..... Prayer isn't for God. It's for us. When we humble ourself before our Creator and realize we don't have it all and we need help sometimes, we become a different person than we were prior and hopefully then deserving of what we are praying for[/b']. ...

THIS is GREAT! And where my own thought process comes in, precisely. If you're praising and thanking, rather than requesting, it MAKES you be in a position where help just might be granted.

I used to think the Mourner's Kaddish was a "prayer for the dead" because that's the common misconception (or misinterpretation?) of that prayer. It's said in remembrance of someone, so it's often misunderstood as a prayer for THEM.

Nope. It's a prayer for US. If one reads the translation (assuming your Hebrew's not so hot!) it's easily recognized as a prayer of thanks, of praise. When I said this prayer according to Judaic custom for a beloved grandfather (meaning 3x per day for 11 months; I recited in place of my father, the traditional 'designee'), I came to a completely different understanding at the end than I started out with.

When I started the 'required' prayer, the first days and weeks were just so painful I barely got through it. And over time, over the months, it felt to me to be part of the healing process, it seemed DESIGNED (maybe it was?) to help me come to terms with it all.

That digressed from my original thought, but the idea is still in the realm; that is, requesting things because you want them does not make you deserving of them; thanking the Creator for the blessings you ALREADY are enjoying, what's ALREADY bestowed, makes one more deserving of whatever other good things might come our way :)

[emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B]

All I know is God helped me pass my NCLEX!

How? Not being disrespectful but just wondering how that worked.