"Please pray for me to pass"...?

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As a frequent 'assistant' (at least, I think I'm helping!) on the NCLEX Discussion Forum, I see something posted over and over and over again. It's a very common theme, actually, and although in the past it didn't much bother me, it has been getting more and more under my skin. I know those who post it obviously don't look for discussion on that topic, but...on THIS forum, it seemed most appropriate :)

I frequently see people who have failed the NCLEX more than once (or more than twice, or more than three times) who will write "please pray for me". Are there really people out there who add to their personal prayers "oh, and G-d? Please help FailedNclex-3x to pass her exam" ?

Seems to be pretty low-brow for G-d, doesn't it? As if The Almighty WOULD have 'let' FailedNclex-3 fail yet again, BUT FOR the prayer from someone on AN...nope, that tilted the wheel the other way and now a PASS is in order!

I cannot see myself EVER thinking to ask G-d for something like that. Pray to understand why things happen the way they do. Pray to ask for strength through a difficult time. Pray to find goodness where there doesn't seem to be much....pray for assistance, but not for personal gain.

Maybe that's it. People are asking for personal gain. I wouldn't pray for someone to win the lottery, I wouldn't pray for them to get into grad school. I'd wish them well, I'm going to "send happy thoughts", I'm going to hope they succeed. But PRAY for this?? No.

I also believe that thanks are in order when one has a success such as passing the NCLEX: thank your spouse and kids and family and friends for putting UP with you while you went to school and while you studied for the exam. Thank the financial institution that fronted you the money, if you like. And yes, thank G-d for the ability to get through it all! But IMHO there's also a difference between thanking Ad'nai for strength, courage, determination, etc and thanking the Holy One for passing a test. YOU, the TEST-TAKER, took and passed the test! He might have been 'with' you in the testing center (strength, support) but He sure wasn't taking that test FOR you!

So no, don't say it was G-d who 'allowed' you to pass the test. If you passed, you EARNED it. Give thanks where it's due, but....remember the limits of what you'd "get" for your prayers, too :)

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

As someone whose theology is very hinged on God's sovereignty, I don't see it as anything that's outside His control...nothing is. ;) But yeah, I see what you're saying about asking for personal gain. I think American Christianity (not sure about international, but definitely American) is a tad heavy on the "Please God, give me..." and a tad light on praising God for all of His attributes and for what our faith teaches He's done for us.

I don't tend to lose sleep if someone wants to ask for prayers like this though. What makes me crazy is "I'm believing God for [some kind of favor]." God's word does not promise any of us success on our NCLEX, so how in the world do you "believe Him" for it? That's not aimed at anyone in particular, as it's something that I've seen more on a Christian parenting board I'm active on...but I can see it applying. "I'm believing God for a passed exam!"

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Specializes in Med-Surg and Neuro.

Even when I was Catholic, I never understood the point of prayer. I always figured, if there is a god, she knows what's best, so why should I bother asking for anything? I never understood "Please pray to save ___". Is god not paying attention, or is she running a popularity contest? Was she going to let ___ die until 100 people prayed against it? If so, doesn't that mean god is fickle, or shallow? As a Catholic, we were taught to pray to saints to plead to god on our behalf. Again, is prayer a popularity contest?

My post isn't meant to offend anyone. I really just never understood the point.

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As someone whose theology is very hinged on God's sovereignty, I don't see it as anything that's outside His control...nothing is. ;) But yeah, I see what you're saying about asking for personal gain. I think American Christianity (not sure about international, but definitely American) is a tad heavy on the "Please God, give me..." and a tad light on praising God for all of His attributes and for what our faith teaches He's done for us.

I don't tend to lose sleep if someone wants to ask for prayers like this though. What makes me crazy is "I'm believing God for [some kind of favor]." God's word does not promise any of us success on our NCLEX, so how in the world do you "believe Him" for it? That's not aimed at anyone in particular, as it's something that I've seen more on a Christian parenting board I'm active on...but I can see it applying. "I'm believing God for a passed exam!"

Ah, yes, the frequently-stated belief that if you only....believe....G'd "won't let you fail". Or that passing meant that G'd had intervened on that person's behalf TO pass. Does that mean that if someone does not pray, G'd WILL let them fail? Or that because they are praying, G'd WILL let them pass? I really do have to believe, as I said before, that the Almighty has bigger fish to fry than taking over control of someone's NCLEX for them.

When I was young, I remember hearing that G'd answers all prayers, and sometimes the answer is NO. I wonder if those who believe that praying for something over and over (and not getting that something) believe that More Prayer= Better Results? Why cannot the answer simply be...."No"?

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Even when I was Catholic, I never understood the point of prayer. I always figured, if there is a god, she knows what's best, so why should I bother asking for anything? I never understood "Please pray to save ___". Is god not paying attention, or is she running a popularity contest? Was she going to let ___ die until 100 people prayed against it? If so, doesn't that mean god is fickle, or shallow? As a Catholic, we were taught to pray to saints to plead to god on our behalf. Again, is prayer a popularity contest?

My post isn't meant to offend anyone. I really just never understood the point.

Excellent question, and one with which I have personally wrestled!

In a discussion group with my rabbi, he had pointed out that the prayers/blessings in our congregational prayer book weren't based on "Give Me". Each prayer was a "Thank You". Sometimes it was really a request for something, but worded such that you were actually giving thanks and sometimes a "thank you" in ADVANCE of 'getting' something. Example: you might thank G'd for the wisdom to understand a situation, or for having the health to continue His praises. You haven't yet received that understanding, and your health might not be so hot, but you are giving thanks for what you HAVE received, and the hope is that by expressing praise you might be blessed again.

I, too, don't like the whole prayer chain thing, as if there are LOTS of people praying for someone to recover, that will be so much better than ONE person praying for someone to get better. It's been explained to me by those who believe in that, but I still don't see it.

As a congregation, we are often asked during services to pray for someone's recovery, or to ease the suffering of family left behind when they don't. These aren't suggested as "more is better", but just as a way of expressing compassion for those who need it, and IN the very act of praying we are giving praise (wording is everything!). Maybe that's what's behind prayer chains, but I don't get the idea that it's someone sharing in praise of G'd and hoping an ailing person benefits; it does seem more like trying to reach a quota or something. Just my take on it, is all.

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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

It's like sports teams praying for a win before the game. Never really understood that. How exactly is God going to pick? Does he just go for the team with the better uniforms or the perkiest cheerleaders?

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It's like sports teams praying for a win before the game. Never really understood that. How exactly is God going to pick? Does he just go for the team with the better uniforms or the perkiest cheerleaders?

Prima facie example of prayer being used for self gain! The team isn't praying to keep everyone safe, or for the ability to think clearly and make good choices. They are PRAYING to the Creator to 'make' the other team LOSE!

I can't imagine G'ds reaction to be anything other than "Um....lose this number, would ya?!" when faced with prayers like that.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

I can see knowing that a bunch of people on a prayer chain are praying can be encouraging for the one who's requested the prayer, but you're right that God isn't doling out "Yes" answers based on a spiritual applause-o-meter. ;)

I, too, don't like the whole prayer chain thing, as if there are LOTS of people praying for someone to recover, that will be so much better than ONE person praying for someone to get better. It's been explained to me by those who believe in that, but I still don't see it.

As a congregation, we are often asked during services to pray for someone's recovery, or to ease the suffering of family left behind when they don't. These aren't suggested as "more is better", but just as a way of expressing compassion for those who need it, and IN the very act of praying we are giving praise (wording is everything!). Maybe that's what's behind prayer chains, but I don't get the idea that it's someone sharing in praise of G'd and hoping an ailing person benefits; it does seem more like trying to reach a quota or something. Just my take on it, is all.

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Spiritual Applause-o-Meter....I like that! :D

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Specializes in Pedi.

I agree with everything the OP says. Asking a message board full of strangers to pay for you to pass a nursing licensure exam is rather narcissistic, IMO. Honestly, I don't care if NursingStudent123 passes NCLEX in 1 try or 4. And if I believed in any deity, I certainly wouldn't be asking him/her to intervene in a stranger's test results. I work with dying children. I have bigger concerns in my life than if recently graduated students who visit this message board pass NCLEX.

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I just know I'm going to be in services Saturday morning and thinking about this. Near the end, I know that someone will ask for an ailing person to be "kept in our prayers" and I think that's most appropriate. I will pray that the family finds strength, and peace with the outcome. I will pray that the ailing person find comfort on their journey.

Somehow, I just can't see me praying that someone pass an exam. ANY exam.

I have prayed when I was trying to find a new job, not so that I could have perks and benes and...whatever....but so that my family would not suffer because of my lack of employment. I prayed for the sense to know who to ask for help, and where to turn for options. I prayed for something to sustain me through the grueling process. Still not 'personal gain', IMHO, as it wasn't ME who was most in need, it was those I support financially.

Kinda puts the whole "pray for me to pass the NCLEX" in a subdued perspective, doesn't it?

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

I got in trouble a while ago for saying that God does not care if someone passes or fails NCLEX. Surely there have been plenty of atheists who passed NCLEX.

It bothers me when there's a catastrophe and someone's home and family are saved and they attribute it to God's blessing. Does that mean that God punished the other family whose home was destroyed and lives were lost?

In World War II (and in other wars), priests blessed the troops on both sides of the war. What side was God supposed to choose?

Praying can be a source of comfort, but really, God doesn't have a personal stake in whether someone passes or fails NCLEX.

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