Quit or be fired?

LEL · Jan 28, 2005

I have been with the same company for 4 years and have NEVER called out b/c of snow/ice storms. This weekend my two kids ages 16 and 12 will have to be alone while I'm at work and its a pretty sure thing I'll be snowed in for the whole weekend. My work is a 45 minute drive and I just feel like it's dangerous to leave them alone. I'm a single mom and usually I have a back-up plan and a second back-up plan but these have fallen through. I called and talked to my DON (the staffing nurse was fired - no warning :uhoh21: ) and she insists I have to come in no matter what. Again, I have NEVER called out on account of the weather...this is more of a child-care issue. We used to be able to bring our kids to work but that is now against the rules. In fact, besides people coming in to work not knowing they'd been fired there have been a lot of other things going on with this new administration I don't like. My question is, do I quit without giving a notice or do I let them fire me? I've been with them for 4 years and that is a large chunk of my work history.

I know 45 min. is a long way from work but the facility has to be staffed. It doesn't seem unreasonable to leave a 16 yr. old alone with a 12 yr. old providing you have plenty of food, emergency numbers and etc. If you don't feel comfortable doing this, can you get a motel room with the kids for the weekend close to the facility? I really wouldn't want to explain a pre planned c/o like this to a possible new employer. Wishing you well.

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 28, 2005

I would do everything in my power to find an alternative child care arrangement ... go to work to avoid being fired ... and then seriously assess the situation and decide whether or not you want to quit. That way, you can give proper notice, etc.

I know you have tried to find alternatives ... but have you really exhausted EVERY conceivable possibility? Do your children have friends whose families might let them sleep over? Have you called the parents of some of your children's friends and ask them? Do you have a neighbor who could look in on them periodically? Is there someone from your church? Is there a co-worker who lives nearby who will not have to work? etc.

As you know, quitting without notice and/or being fired will make it difficult for you to get a good job in the future. I would try to avoid either one if at all possible. I find it hard to believe that there isn't anyone in your town who will help you in this emergency.

llg

southern_rn_brat · Jan 28, 2005

Hi wendy! this is wendy! :chuckle

I used to work for a company like that. They threaten you so you will come in. Wen....your family is your life. They have to come first. If your DON doesnt understand that it is not possible for you to leave your children ALONE IN A SNOW/ICE STORM then you dont need that! If they fire you, let your good work record speak for itself and tell your interviewer the truth...that you were fired for not leaving your children at home alone.

Don't let them guilt you into making a decision you could regret for the rest of your life. What if your kids lose power? They will need their mommy more than your patients will at that point. They are really calling for this ice and snow to hit us (I am in Knoxville).

I was just sitting here worrying what I was going to do when noone showed up at work in the morning. (I am the weekend supervisor so I guess I will have to go in at midnight tonight :crying2: ). You made me remember what is important.

Thanks to you, I will remember not to get angry at my staff when they can't come in because of the weather. :kiss

We will take care of the patients. You making sure your kids survive this coming storm is most important for you.

Just remember about this weather coming...It is what it is! We can't stop it, we just have to deal with it.

Do what you need to do for the storm and don't feel guilty!

Town & Country · Jan 28, 2005

It is hard to know what to tell someone to do in this instance, but if your kids are 16 and 12, they should be okay.

Call them from work to check on them, and see if you can get a neighbor to pop in while you're at work.

I don't know what else you can do, but being as they are that old they should be able to make it on their own while you're at work.

If the lack of flexibility in this job bothers you, you could look elsewhere but being a single mom you will probably face this anywhere you go.

Chad_KY_SRNA · Jan 28, 2005

Sounds like a lousy deal. Your kids are more important than work but then again work feeds and clothes your kids. If you have no other option call in. I hope and pray that the ice doesn't really happen. I am praying for either snow or rain. Either one is better than ice. I have to work tonight and tommorow night so I will be out in the ice storm at 0600 tommorow:uhoh21:. Stupid weather. Either snow or get hot. :angryfire

southern_rn_brat · Jan 28, 2005

my DON just called me :crying2:

she said "wendy the weather is going to be awful! you just come on in around midnight and you can sleep here" :crying2:

eltrip · Jan 28, 2005

And what if your home loses power while your children are there alone? We're looking at having 1/4" of ice where I am & we're concerned about this...and I don't work weekends. Can your adolescent children deal with a power outage while alone? If it wasn't for the potential power outage, it wouldn't be an issue.

What would your DON do if in the same situation?

DDRN4me · Jan 28, 2005

wow...this is a tought choice. When you spoke to the DON, di you tell her of your dilemma? I would ask to "bend the new rule" and bring the kids with me.I think 16 is too young to be left responsible for a youngr sibling during a bad storm...no matter for a night, but a whole weekend!!! If she still insists and you feel that you have to call out, put your reasons in writing...that you feared for the safety of your children!!! good luck, and go with your gut!!! Mary

I have been with the same company for 4 years and have NEVER called out b/c of snow/ice storms. This weekend my two kids ages 16 and 12 will have to be alone while I'm at work and its a pretty sure thing I'll be snowed in for the whole weekend. My work is a 45 minute drive and I just feel like it's dangerous to leave them alone. I'm a single mom and usually I have a back-up plan and a second back-up plan but these have fallen through. I called and talked to my DON (the staffing nurse was fired - no warning :uhoh21: ) and she insists I have to come in no matter what. Again, I have NEVER called out on account of the weather...this is more of a child-care issue. We used to be able to bring our kids to work but that is now against the rules. In fact, besides people coming in to work not knowing they'd been fired there have been a lot of other things going on with this new administration I don't like. My question is, do I quit without giving a notice or do I let them fire me? I've been with them for 4 years and that is a large chunk of my work history.

cannoli · Jan 28, 2005

Bring the kids in with you anyway.

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

When we had the threat of ice, I did have 3 backups, including staying at the facility (within a certain set of conditions like I would be fed for free, use of telephone, a bed to sleep in etc. which luckily they could provide!). However I am going with my own theories...and yep, against the grain of some nurses.

I work for a living, but I don't live for my work! It is that plain and simple. If I was a single mother, I would be doing what I could to get into work, but if it was just too dangerous...I, being the adult provider of my children, must take my role as a mother first and foremost. If something was to happen to me, now that would be far worse than loosing my job! Especially if the police or local department of transportation states you shouldn't drive...people forget they are a government authority and their recomendations shouldn't be taken lightly!

Me, I have a husband and my father lives with me too...so I have people to care for my family if something was to happen to me. But I still wouldn't want something to happen to me on a dangerous drive! Heck, two car family and if I was to be hurt or the car hurt I would have to quit anyway...no way to get to work...and not to mention if I was injured..still couldn't work and it could be perminent!

Yes, we have a duty to our patients...but we also have a duty to our families, and I put my family first! I can quit nursing, I can't quit being a mom, wife, and provider for my family...so they win each time! I do whatever I can to be on my appointed shift (a professional does that come rain or shine), but if I had to call in...well, it is no longer my choice on disiplanary action is it...ball is in their court, and if they wish to fire me for one day vs the years I have been with them...then their loss completely.

But then again..that is me...I have three roles in life, mom, wife and nurse...it is hard to balance at times. My hubby (paramedic) and I agreed that he is the main income source and I am supplement...so my role as a mother/wife comes first. So I am at a bit of an advantage...if getting to work puts me at risk...I don't go, let the chips fall where they may...(but so far so good this year...the ice storm didn't hit my area..whew!).

Dixielee, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

I agree, bring your kids any with you anyway. I was also a single mom. with a good work history. The same thing happened to me a few years ago. I was on call for the PACU for the whole week end we were scheduled for a big snow/ice storm. My daughter was 16, my son 11 and I thought they would be OK. We had plenty of food, firewood and underground utilities, so nothing could go wrong, right??? The police took me in to work because it was too bad to drive that first morning. I had packed to stay the week end. My daughter called that afternoon and said a tree had fallen at the end of the road and knocked out all the power to the neighborhood and it was already 50 degrees in the house. I had a friend with 4 wheel drive who offered to bring them to the hospital, which they did. My kids and I stayed in what had recently been the OB suite (now moved to the new birthing center) for the whole week end. They brought books and games, were very well behaved and I felt comfortable enough to be an effective nurse. But my FIRST and primary responsibility was to my children. All other things are secondary. Do what you must, but your employer was here before your kids were and will be here after they are long grown and gone. You only have one shot at being a good parent, you have an entire career to be a good nurse.