Quit or be fired?

fotografe · Jan 28, 2005

It is unreasonable for them to insist you come in and leave your children alone under those circumstances. I hope you brought them with you. If they fired you for having your kids there, then I would file a complaint against them since you had no alternatives.

What kind of care could you give your patients if you were thinking the whole time whether your children were safe? These are exceptional circumstances and exceptions need to be made. I would definitely be on the look out for another job in any instance.

Hope all turned out well.

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

Even though your 16y/o would probly be ok with being home, to a younger child just a few hours can seem an eternity even in good weather. If there arent friends they can spend the night with or someone who can come in to the house i think id take them with me if they insisted i come in to work. Being snowed in is one thing when a parent is home, but to many things can happen with kids alone. Simple things they do daily can go wrong and end up badly. You have to do what puts your mind at ease so you can focus at work. I have always made it clear, my kids/family come first then work. If you cant take care of your own, you cant take care of anyone else either.

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

I wouldn't chose to bring my children out into the same risk as me if I was to take it on! I would do anything in my power to have them protected in a safe home environment with a supervising adult..but then again I have those options readily available to me! No way..I wouldn't want my kids NEAR a car in that kind of weather...bad enough I get to!

If worse came to worse, I would simply watch my local forcast like a hawk, and if needed get my kids and I to my facility before anything starts. If my facility can't handle that..then I get to call in because I tried my best..and that is all I can do. Again luckily for me I have options...I have a local fire department 4 blocks away from work where I can stay with my kids if worse came to worse (helps that my father in law is a retired chief for that department!), or my hubbys work will help us out too (paramedic). These organizations tend to be very close, and take care of their own strongly..and I am one of them too...very handy :).

BUT, unless you are affiliated with the local EMS system...do not rely on them. They have enough to do without being a shuttle service for nurses! They are my very very last resort, and patients shouldn't suffer because you took a vehicle and staff away from their duties to get you to work!

mishayla96 · Jan 28, 2005

I totally agree with the majority of people here when they said the kids come first, mommyhood comes first I would also say that under NORMAL circumstances there is NO reason your 16yo can not care for the other child (you know like for an 8hr shift) buttttt since you are dealing with WEEKEND issues, heck no if I would risk it. I am a mom of 3 myself and that would be too scary for me...I would worry too much and not know so then my pt's would suffer. I also was thinking how others have said to have a neighbor or that check on them--which is a great idea--but not if everyone around is snowed in or something The best idea I guess WOULD be to go ahead and take them to work, what are they gonna do once the kids are already there with ya? They would have to understand, I would hope! GOOD LUCK :pinkheart

javanurse2000, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

Thank you to everyone who responded! Ok....I am calling the DON back. She will have to fire me on the spot or accept my two week notice, but I am not going in. I have called the agency that I was signed with (left on very good terms) and they have plenty of work for me. I learned to drive in NE PA and the roads stayed covered all winter long (called the hard freeze) but driving up there was different. Here they just use sand and if we lose power (this happened two years ago and some places didn't have it back on for weeks) I have to know I can get the kids out without risking their safety. I am going to the store this afternoon and am buying a small kerosine heater -- yes I know its dangerous esp. in a 30 year mobile home, but I'll stay up through the night if we need it . Its true, jobs can be replaced but people can't. I am giving my work plenty of time to either find someone close by or call angency to cover the weekend. To be honest, I am glad of the "no kids" rule b/c we have had a lot of resistant bacteria going around and one time they went around culturing from different surfaces...guess what was on the ice pitcher handle? :uhoh21: lady partsl flora!! :uhoh21: Ok, well I am stalling b/c I am letting my DON down. I'm going to go make the call...I'll let you all know what happens

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

I totally agree with the majority of people here when they said the kids come first, mommyhood comes first I would also say that under NORMAL circumstances there is NO reason your 16yo can not care for the other child (you know like for an 8hr shift) buttttt since you are dealing with WEEKEND issues, heck no if I would risk it. I am a mom of 3 myself and that would be too scary for me...I would worry too much and not know so then my pt's would suffer. I also was thinking how others have said to have a neighbor or that check on them--which is a great idea--but not if everyone around is snowed in or something The best idea I guess WOULD be to go ahead and take them to work, what are they gonna do once the kids are already there with ya? They would have to understand, I would hope! GOOD LUCK :pinkheart

HUGSSSSSSSSS Mishayla96!!!!!!!!!! I always seem like the odd man out when I say that my mommy status comes first and foremost. I get flack from that at work too...'no you chose nursing...you must think of the patient first..and nursing as your life and dedication'. Ummmm no...I became a nurse to help my family...not the other way around! They come first...because without them I wouldn't have been or can not be a nurse! Foundations....they build your life..and my foundation is my family and all the love, support and sacrifices they have given!

I was holding my newly born son when my midwife came to me and said "so, you are going to nursing school now..we are all counting on it!"..and I said yes! But..then I looked at that little angel in my hands...and said "as long as he is protected and loved...I will be anything!" I hold that to my oath...I chose to have him first...and he is everything...then I married and gave an oath to my hubby...again not to be taken lightly. I am not one person...I am not my patients savior...I am me, who comes with several other people in my life...and those people come first!!!!!!! Something can happen to me..and who will help...heck my facility won't...nursing won't...my family will! THEY WIN!

Kudos to those other nurses that find that they do have a duty but need to be rational about family. Yes there are patients that need us..but ya know what..there will always be patients..something we actually know and depend on...but family...well that is a one time deal that lasts a lifetime..they should always ALWAYS come first!

Jolie, BSN · Jan 28, 2005

Just another example of a nurse trying to be conscientious and alerting her supervisor to a potential problem in advance, and then being screwed over. It is sad that you would have been better off (employment wise) to have called in sick at the last minute!

You know your children better than anyone, and if you are not comfortable leaving them alone, then DON'T DO IT!

The dirty little secret here is that it is your supervisor's job to staff the facility, NOT YOURS! Let her get her sorry butt in there to take a patient assignment.

I once quit a job in a SC hospital for similar reasons. I wonder if it's the same facility!

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

Oh Jolie..thank you so much for that...I was going to say that my instict if I couldn't make it in besides all the preparations I did...I would call in and say my car got stuck or I slid...that gets more respect than trying so darned hard to make it and still not being able to. Sad isn't it...very sad indeed and it was my plan C3! LOL!

unknown99, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

Remember, you can always get another job, but you cannot replace your children!!!

javanurse2000, BSN, RN · Jan 28, 2005

Just another example of a nurse trying to be conscientious and alerting her supervisor to a potential problem in advance, and then being screwed over. It is sad that you would have been better off (employment wise) to have called in sick at the last minute!
You know your children better than anyone, and if you are not comfortable leaving them alone, then DON'T DO IT!
The dirty little secret here is that it is your supervisor's job to staff the facility, NOT YOURS! Let her get her sorry butt in there to take a patient assignment.
I once quit a job in a SC hospital for similar reasons. I wonder if it's the same facility!

Thank you Jolie, Triage and everybody whose been understanding about me being worried about my kids. Yep, I didn't get to talk to the DON but the administrator picked up the phone and when I got done explaining all of this to her, her response was "I'm shocked to hear you say this". She also said that they don't except call-ins for predicted weather and that if I have a problem tomorrow then I'll have to call in tomorrow. Basically, "I'm going to ignore your call in and let the weekend staff AND the residents suffer."

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 28, 2005

I think there are few people who believe you should put your children in danger -- even people who insist you come into work. Nurses need to understand that when they take a job that includes the responsibility for the well-being of other people, that obligation can not be ignored every time the weather gets bad. We have an obligation to the patients we have promised to serve. We have an obligation to make plans so that we can be available when an emergency happens. Hospitals make harsh policies because too many nurses don't take that obligation seriously.

The original poster certainly does not sound like one of those people who abuses the call in option. She sounds like a responsible person. If more people were like her, there would probably not be a need for such harsh hospital policies.

That said ... it illustrates the need for everyone to make a couple of back-up plans ... to have MORE than 1 or 2 childcare options ... to get to know the families of your children's friends ... to make friends within the community ... your neighbors, your church, etc. so that we can call on people to help us when we need it. If the original poster had friends she could call on in this difficult situation, she could keep her children safe and keep her job at the same time. Losing her job and having a bad employment record is not good for her children either.

Everyone with children (or pets) should be asking themselves, "What kinds of back-up plans do I have for my children?" "What would I do if there were a community emergency and I was needed at the hospital for an extended period of time?" "How can I keep my children well-cared-for if I am needed to serve my community in an emergency?" If you have a couple of back-up options to choose from, you can avoid the type of situation that started this thread.

I have worked along side many nurses with children over the years -- and been through many community emergencies. The best nurses have thought about these issues ahead of time and have multiple possibilities to choose from. They don't wait until the last minute to wonder "Gee, what about my kids?" They plan ahead. They manage to both great nurses and also great mothers and fathers. The 2 are not mutually exclusive. You can be both.

llg

oneLoneNurse · Jan 28, 2005

I have been with the same company for 4 years and have NEVER called out b/c of snow/ice storms. This weekend my two kids ages 16 and 12 will have to be alone while I'm at work and its a pretty sure thing I'll be snowed in for the whole weekend. My work is a 45 minute drive and I just feel like it's dangerous to leave them alone. I'm a single mom and usually I have a back-up plan and a second back-up plan but these have fallen through. I called and talked to my DON (the staffing nurse was fired - no warning :uhoh21: ) and she insists I have to come in no matter what. Again, I have NEVER called out on account of the weather...this is more of a child-care issue. We used to be able to bring our kids to work but that is now against the rules. In fact, besides people coming in to work not knowing they'd been fired there have been a lot of other things going on with this new administration I don't like. My question is, do I quit without giving a notice or do I let them fire me? I've been with them for 4 years and that is a large chunk of my work history.

I know its not something you want to do, BUT in this instance it might be the best thing to do. That way you can keep an eye on them.