Pt./Family Comments that Leave You Speechless

Nurses General Nursing

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I seem to be hearing more and more comments from patients and families that just leave me speechless. I can think of no good response except helpless laughter, which I can't indulge in, so I bite my tongue and say nothing at all.

Here's two from last night:

Family observing nurse use barcoder to give insulin (or rather, struggle valiantly to use the barcoder, since it malfunctions about every three minutes): "Aren't you glad that you won't have to worry about making so many medicine errors anymore now that you have a great machine to do your thinking for you?"

And from a patient who wanted the max in IVP pain meds and slept very soundly through one of the prn time windows: " You should have woke me up or at least have it all drawn up and been standing by my bed waiting for me to wake up." What in the world can you say to comments like those? :smackingf

Specializes in critical Care/ICU-traveler.

Once I had a patients wife that showed up the next night after her husband had died and requested to see the body. I guess she thought we were going to let him keep the room forever.

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

The patient I took care of a few days ago had a chest tube that was placed to water seal way before my shift started so when I came in and got my report, I did my assessment, she was in respiratory distress and the chest tube had to be placed to suction. She accused me of making her feel worse but in subsequent stories to other staff she would say that it all started after she burped at noon. Ok, I don't get it. It started at noon after you burped but it's my fault anyways even though I was here at 7. Ok.

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

The one who told us "you know, that one nurse broke my ribs when she did CPR on me. I hate having to do it, but I had to call a lawyer. It's her fault that my ribs hurt so bad now." And the alternative would be not feeling pain at all b/c you would be dead, ever think about that one?

Or the daughter who told me when discussing code status..."We want mom to have CPR, but if she dies just let her go." My flabergasted reply..."We pretty much only do CPR on dead people."

On a different note...I was taking care of one of our frequent flyers last night, but one of the really nice, compliant, polite ones who you don't mind having. She's supposed to be d/c'd today, so as I left this morning I jokingly told her that I enjoyed taking care of her but try to spend more than two weeks at home between admits this time. She told me, very sincerely, that the next time she comes in she's going to tell the ED people to make sure she comes to our floor and request that I take care of her as much as possible b/c I'm her favorite nurse that she's ever had. Keep in mind, this is a woman who hasn't been home for more than three months at a time over the last two years, probably every tele nurse in house has cared for her at one point or another. I was floored. It made my day.

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

To RNontheroad-

I know that that woman who came in the day after her husband died & wanted to see his body probably seemed weird to you, but I hope you were kind when you explained to her that his body had been removed. She was probably not thinking too clearly--after all, her husband just died. And, when that happens, one can easily lose the ability to think clearly. Sometimes, we ask what seem to be ridiculous questions, but in our minds they make perfect sense.--that's part of the brain fog that grief produces. We just need some compassion and kindness from the staff who have taken care of our loved ones, not to be left feeling dumb for asking what seemed to be a good question at the time.

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Specializes in Medical.
Or the daughter who told me when discussing code status..."We want mom to have CPR, but if she dies just let her go." My flabergasted reply..."We pretty much only do CPR on dead people."

No wonder so many families decide to have their critically ill, frail, elderly relatives for full resus.

I've had two relatives of unrelated stroke patients ask about brain transplantation. My favourite was the second one, who told me he knew his wife loved her father more than him and would be devastated by her father's death so he'd be happy to donate his brain to his father-in-law. Well, he clearly wasn' using it! I felt like saying "How would your brain in her father's body help your wife?" Ick, ick, ick on the sex front!

I once had a hysteria of family members tumble into the corridor yeling for help because their mother's "pressure's dropping!!!" As you can imagine, half the staff pour into the room... to find the patient, looking perfectly fine, sitting up in bed and not a sphygmo in sight.

Me: What makes you think her blood pressure's low?

ER-watching daughter: I could see it

Me (looking around the room again): How?

Daughter (with exaggerated patience at having to explain basics to the idiot nurse): On the machine

Me: That's an IV pump

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Private Duty Peds.

was doing my assessment on a terminal pt this past week, he stated he felt like he was going to pass out. i asked him if he felt light headed, dizzy, faint, seeing stars, etc, he looked at me and said " i see monkeys", his wife replied, i never heard him say that before!!

a first for me.........had to bite my lip to keep from cracking up!!

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Specializes in EMS, ER, GI, PCU/Telemetry.
The one who told us "you know, that one nurse broke my ribs when she did CPR on me. I hate having to do it, but I had to call a lawyer. It's her fault that my ribs hurt so bad now." And the alternative would be not feeling pain at all b/c you would be dead, ever think about that one?

.

i just love the sue happy mentality of this country.

i had to go to court for a successful resus who sued the hospital because when he was intubated one of his teeth was knocked out. he was a very difficult tube, BIG neck circumference, BVM pretty unsealable, and yes we probably rocked the blade... but his other options would be a) not breathe and die or b) end up with a trach.

he won something like $323 dollars for a partial plate with one tooth on it.

i had a patient the other day on a potassium replacement protocol, so he was getting 20meq's in NS all day plus a 10meq K rider every hour. his family was all upset with me when they came in and saw all the drips bc he "didn't need it" and asked me "can't you just pull up all that potassium and shoot it in his IV so he doesn't have to have all these poles?".... and it took all i could not to just say "sure, if you're interested in planning his funeral".

and another patient who called her family member when she was NPO for an open chole later that day and was spewing up bile and said "this nurse is starving me to death. she turned off my room service and i can't get any food. i don't know what her problem is. i can eat whatever i want if they're just gonna take out my liver." yup... called the surgeon and told him to come on back, bc the pt had no idea what the heck she was having done to her and that he needed to explain to her why i was "starving her" all day, because she apparently missed that part and wasn't understanding when i told her why. i spoke to the family and explained on the phone, but of course the family was irate when they came to her rescue with a big lunch and i kindly explained to them AGAIN that she could get very ill from eating before surgery if the surgeon even does the procedure at all. so they decided that she was going to sign out AMA.... and i was more than happy to provide those forms.... she ate her lunch... and came back to the ER about 4 hours later...

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

I alone will do it. I will LAUGH. I have. It's too funny not to. People say the most ridiculous things.

Nothing wrong with laughing.

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Specializes in med/surg, psych, public health.

After reading all of the above, I'm reminded of my 3 favorite quotes from RN's I've worked with:

If only stupid HURT! (I still hear this one almost on a daily basis.) :lol2:

Not all patients are annoying. Some are dead.

Why is there no vaccine against stupidity?!

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I recently had a 64 year old woman that had a lap chole. Arrived from PACU at about 21:45, alert and oriented x3, no prior medical history, no home meds, no complications after surgery, minimal pain - very easy admission. Her daughter called at about 23:00 and asked how her mother was doing. I told her she was doing well, just sleepy and wanted to rest. The daughter immediately burst into tears and said "You don't sound like you mean it! Is she going to die?" I seriously didn't even know how to answer that one.

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Specializes in neonatal intensive care.

I was telling the grandmother of the neonate (mother was present also) why the infant was NPO and fussy. Grandma was quite upset that the baby was not eating and threatened to go to management and "have your job!"

I was almost ready to give it to her!

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.
After reading all of the above, I'm reminded of my 3 favorite quotes from RN's I've worked with:

If only stupid HURT! (I still hear this one almost on a daily basis.) :lol2:

Not all patients are annoying. Some are dead.

Why is there no vaccine against stupidity?!

You can't fix stupid is a favorite of mine.

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