Psych Folks, I desperately need your help. Crisis in my Home.

[LTCNS, LPN]

Long story short, I have a 30 year old son who had everything going for him, then lost everything over a year ago. Since then he has become increasingly depressed, refusing professional help. He hates my husband and holds a grudge against me for marrying him. There have been outbursts of screaming and threats, but no violence towards my husband or myself. He recently had to move back home and does not come out of the room, he sleeps all the time and has no motivation to get a job.

Fast forward to this morning. He came out of the room as I was getting ready for work and absolutely lost it. He called me a ****, a whore and a *****. He overturned the couch and kicked a huge hole in the wall of the foyer. He is angry because I haven't left my husband and gotten a place for he and I to live together. He absolutely hates me and said I chose a **** for my ***** over him. He's always been protective of me but now he hates me

I went to the courthouse and filed papers to have him committed because jail will not help him. He has issues that I cannot help him with. I love him and want him to get help but am now feeling horrible because he will be picked up Friday morning and taken to a treatment facility. Please tell me...Did I do the right thing? Or will it make him worse? What if they decide he is "okay" and don't keep him? Please help me. He probably won't even want me to visit him while he's there

[furelite]

Your son needs help. You did the right thing. This isn't something you can "fix" on your own. You will feel guilty, this is normal. You need to absolve yourself of your own guilt, and know you are doing what is best for him, even if he doesn't know it or realize it at this time. You are being strong. It is very easy to continue to enable and that isn't helpful for his recovery. Hugs.

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

You did what you felt you needed to do. It doesn't matter what anyone here or anywhere thinks. We don't judge! Sorry you have to go through this. I wish the best for your son and yourself. Perhaps some therapy sessions will help you as well. We all need support at sometime.

[Davey Do]

Medications, along with Therapy, can do wonders for People with explosive behaviors.

Explosive behaviors can be comparable to seizure-like activity in the brain. That's probably the reason why anticonvulsives like Depakote, Neurontin, Tegretol, and others work so well on mood stabilization.

The very best to both you and yours, LTCNS!

[Farawyn]

((((LTCNS))))

Not a psych person, but work in a HS. I agree with all advice given.

I'm so sorry you are hurting.

[JVLims]

You did not mention whether your son has a substance use disorder as well as the mood disturbance. It might be a contributing factor. You did the right thing and it may save your son's life. He is decompensating and may be a risk to himself or others, including you. Let a team of professionals have an opportunity to assess and treat the root cause of his great distress. Getting him help by whatever means were necessary is a great gift you have given him as his mother. Good luck to you now and in the future; I encounter many, many patients like your son in my daily nursing practice as a case manager in a large trauma center and few of them have family willing or able to fight for them to get treatment. Some are just worn to a frazzle and cannot do anything further. I say this as a caution to you....you must care for yourself and find strength to create boundaries and limits in this situation. Only you know where and how you will need to set them. Best wishes.

[nurse lala, BSN, RN]

What you did was timely and indicated. Your son needed immediate attention. You did it in a reasonable manner to minimize the drama. What you did took courage and selflessness. Knowing he may not forgive. You placed your sons needs before your own. No, he probably won't want to talk to you at first, anyway. But he may see things differently in time. Most people do. You will be hearing from him when he wants something. Maybe to come home. What you did was what a good mom does. Hang in there baby.

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

Absolutely the right thing. Saving him from himself.

[nurse lala, BSN, RN]

He has issues that I cannot help him with. I love him and want him to get help but am now feeling horrible because he will be picked up Friday morning and taken to a treatment facility. Please tell me...Did I do the right thing? Or will it make him worse? What if they decide he is "okay" and don't keep him? Please help me. He probably won't even want me to visit him while he's there

Your son is responsible for himself ever since he became an adult. He has done well until he didn't and apparently stopped trying. He can blame his problems on you all he wants but you don't have to agree. He damaged your home and property all the while blaming his behavior on you because he doesn't like your husband? You are living your own life and have the right to live happily ever after, safely with your husband, if that is what you want. It is your decision as to whether or not you will allow your boy to come back home. You can choose to meet with the treatment team to discuss your concerns. You can develop a behavioral contract as conditions for his return. Or you can suggest he explore other housing options if he is less than cooperative.

Take care LTCNS.

[Kooky Korky, BSN, RN]

Can you call to talk to him? ASk him if he wants you to visit? I think you probably did the best thing but I fear for your safety and the safety of your husband.

I am asking God to come upon the scene and do the best for all of you. Praise God, He makes a way where there is no way!

[leighRN2]

You have received some good feedback from other replies, but I have to stress the importance of meeting with his treatment team before he is discharged if he is agreeable. This allows for you to let him know how you feel in general and how you feel about him. It is also a time to set firm boundaries that are to be followed once he is discharged. These boundaries let him know what you expect from him in order to have him in your home or in your life. If medication is ordered and is helping him deal with his issues then one boundary is that he continue with his meds once he is released and he must not stop taking them or change the dose unless he and his doctor are agreeable. If substance use is an issue, you must say no substances in the home or he must leave. Or any rules that apply to his situation, make sense? He is the one that has to do the work to get and stay healthy and hopefully he will welcome your support but it is a gift to make him aware of your boundaries and expectations as well........and then stick to them. I would be happy to walk through this with you if you want to PM me.

[LTCNS, LPN]

All that and the judge didn't sign his papers on Thursday. They were backlogged with emergency commitments and he was on the bottom of the pile. The next pick up is on Wednesday. I'm devastated. Because he hasn't hurt anyone he is not an emergency. I feel terrible knowing he could have been on his way yesterday if I had just pushed them.