I am needing some advise on this. Sorry but this is going to be long.
When I was 7 I was molested and abused for about a year. He said I would be in trouble if I ever told, which is why it went on for so long. I was afraid and never told anyone, until I told my friend during a sleep over. She knew what was happening and told her mom, whom in turn told my mother. When my mother found out, she of course had him arrested.
We moved to FL after that. I finished school and went on the become a nurse there. My husband and I moved our little family of 4 back to Arkansas to be closer to some of my family. I am a nurse at a local family clinic while studying to get my RN. Last year this man that I put in jail for 9 years started coming to my clinic. I bumped into him in the hallway and immediately went to my office manager to inform her of the situation. I have been working for them for 2 years now and have seen my Dr fire people that he no longer wants to treat for various reasons. My office manager informs me that since he doesn't see my Dr and I am not his nurse that it isn't a good enough reason to fire him. They put a note in his chart to never schedule him with my Dr. He isn't aloud on my side of the building. He has ended up on our schedule twice now and moved to the other Dr schedule. He sits in the same lobby my patients sit in and walks the same hall.. Usually when he is there, I try to get someone else, if anyone is available, to get my patients so I don't have to see him or he see me. He has come in several times over the last year. It has gone to him just glancing at me, to smiling at me, and now trying to joke and wave at me. He came in this past Thursday with a leg injury and was placed in the shot waiting area(very small side room with a few chairs). I had a patient in there and that's where we give our allergy injections. We were short a nurse on this day and very very busy. I can't just hide behind my desk and wait for him to leave so that I can do my job. I had patients waiting. My patient that was in the shot waiting area was there for a physical for work. He needed an eye exam. We use the Snellen chart that is on the wall in that room. While giving him his eye exam, my abuser sat, who was sitting beside my patient, persistently smiled at me. He made the comment that he should move his leg so that no one tripped on it, my patient joking said "you never know, someone may kick or stomp on it." And the abuser looked at me and smiled and said "Yeah and she would probably be the first to kick it" while laughing. I said in a rude voice "You are right" and took my patient to his room away from that man.
I felt very uncomfortable, and feel like he is just taunting me. When I informed my boss that he had spoken to me, she just said I should have had someone else get my patients while he was there. I don't feel comfortable or safe at my current place of employment and don't really feel like my boss cares. I had nightmares about this man for years and I have started having them again. I don't like feeling so vulnerable.
Should they even be allowing him there? I understand that once I get my RN and work in the ER I will have patients that I don't like, but do I have to deal with this man?
We recently made an accepted offer on our first home and are due to close at the end of the month. As soon as we close I have decided to start actively looking for other employment. I am going to look at other clinics, our hospital (that doesn't hire many LPNs), and the nursing homes. Until then, what can I do? It took all that I had not to be extremely unprofessional in front of my patients to this man when all I really wanted to do was stomp his leg and to beat him with his own crutch.
The fact that he doesn't seem ashamed of himself is worrisome to me. He might have paid his debt to society in the eyes of the law, but in my opinion, nine years doesn't seem like very much time for what he did.
And the fact that he continues to put himself in a position where he could see you, smiles at you, and tries to make jokes indicates that he doesn't feel a whole lot of remorse.
I think you should find a new job, regardless of if the doctor refuses to continue seeing him or not. He knows how to find you and could follow you home. See about getting a restraining order. Even if you feel like you don't really need one now, that could change.
There's a lot of well meaning advice here and much, if not all of it is loaded with emotional content, which is understandable.
Many say: "Leave."
I'll say this: Never use common logic for legal issues. Use legal logic for legal issues--there is a world of difference.
So my suggestion is simple: Find a lawyer and discuss that with her.
He's undoubtedly on an offender's list. Therefore I suspect that the Court would be willing to go to any reasonable length to assist you. Restraining orders can be tailor made. The lawyer may even suggest a Court Order ordering him to find another clinic. Or, possibly, ordering him to schedule only at a certain time/day of the week so you can avoid him.
I'll disagree with those who say that you should leave. That just perpetuates the abuse. Make him "leave," and I think you have the means to do exactly that.
There's a lot of well meaning advice here and much, if not all of it is loaded with emotional content, which is understandable.
Many say: "Leave."
I'll say this: Never use common logic for legal issues. Use legal logic for legal issues--there is a world of difference.
So my suggestion is simple: Find a lawyer and discuss that with her.
He's undoubtedly on an offender's list. Therefore I suspect that the Court would be willing to go to any reasonable length to assist you. Restraining orders can be tailor made. The lawyer may even suggest a Court Order ordering him to find another clinic. Or, possibly, ordering him to schedule only at a certain time/day of the week so you can avoid him.
I'll disagree with those who say that you should leave. That just perpetuates the abuse. Make him "leave," and I think you have the means to do exactly that.
OP needs the court's assistance, certainly. Since her employer is not supporting her.If she has to pay a lawyer in order to keep herself safe at work, why work there?
It's too late to make HIM leave, the employer has already supported the sex offender over the nurse. This is why she needs to "LEAVE" the employer.
Must wonder ..how it would have been handled if it were a doctor in the office that was going through this.
OP needs immediate relief from this situation, not lawyers, not useless employers, not an anonymous internet site.
OP, I apologize. No 2 weeks notice. Get a leave of absence .. get mental health assistance.. take your time moving on.
I agree, you need to speak to a lawyer. Not only are you being forced to face your abuser in an unacceptable situation, your employer is not supporting, respecting or backing you. I do not know if they can legally fire him or not, but it seems to me that they could! Before quitting I would speak to a lawyer! I would still find another job, but I think you NEED to speak to a lawyer before you take any actions!
I agree, you need to speak to a lawyer. Not only are you being forced to face your abuser in an unacceptable situation, your employer is not supporting, respecting or backing you. I do not know if they can legally fire him or not, but it seems to me that they could! Before quitting I would speak to a lawyer! I would still find another job, but I think you NEED to speak to a lawyer before you take any actions!
Her employers have not backed her. Even in my last job that I hated, I know for a fact my doctor would have had my back.
There's a lot of well meaning advice here and much, if not all of it is loaded with emotional content, which is understandable.
I'm not sure whose post/s you consider loaded with emotional content, but I think that many or even most actually are calm in nature even if there's no clear consensus. I know that I was thinking mainly with the left hemisphere
and perhaps guided by some hard-earned intuition.
Many say: "Leave."
Personally I said that if it was me, I'd seriously consider leaving. I can't really tell OP what to do as offering legal advice is against TOS and this borders on that, or at least is a very important life decision. Also, as usually is the case on the internet, I don't have all the facts. I can only analyze the information that OP has provided and in general I don't think that life-altering advice should be given anonymously over the internet, so I'm basically just sharing my thoughts for whatever they're worth.
I'll disagree with those who say that you should leave. That just perpetuates the abuse.
Sometimes being in the right just isn't enough. Is it fair? Of course not. In an ideal and fair world, OP shouldn't have to go anywhere. She's done nothing wrong. However, our world isn't ideal or perfect and sometimes you just have to be practical and deal with whatever has been thrown at you.
OP's attacker has been a client at her clinic for at least five and a half months and during that time her employer hasn't done much in order to support her. That's not good. Since the attacker didn't suddenly show up yesterday but has been around the clinic since anytime between January and December of 2014 (last year per OP), I assume something prompted OP to make her post at this time.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm concerned by her childhood abuser's behavior.
It would be surprising if word about his conviction hasn't spread through the community, but it is possible. The dialogue between OP, OP's patient and the convicted child molester is in my opinion strange. The attacker is calling attention to the fact that OP might have reason to want to kick/harm him, albeit "jokingly". The fact that he feels safe/comfortable to do so with a third party present is a dynamic I'm not thrilled about. Does he know the other man (OP's patient)? I don't want to speculate further than that.
Sadly, I'm not terribly surprised that the attacker doesn't show any remorse, but as I've said a few times I am somewhat surprised that he's so brazen about it.
I'd rather see make the decision that best suits you.â€
…has to pay a lawyer…†Not necessarily, there are woman's supportive services in all communities. Most have lawyer support. Even if she has to pay this may only require a few hundred dollars and really, I think she can find legal assistance in such a strange case for free.
Someone asked why she would want to stay, well, read the OP:
1) She moved to Arkansas to be near family.
2) She has a good job.
Heck, in my book, those are two great reasons NOT to leave.
Do not underestimate the Courts in this case.
And I say: Offer advice if you wish to, but OP will and should do what suits her.
I'd rather see make the decision that best suits you.â€
…has to pay a lawyer…†Not necessarily, there are woman's supportive services in all communities. Most have lawyer support. Even if she has to pay this may only require a few hundred dollars and really, I think she can find legal assistance in such a strange case for free.
Someone asked why she would want to stay, well, read the OP:
1) She moved to Arkansas to be near family.
2) She has a good job.
Heck, in my book, those are two great reasons NOT to leave.
Do not underestimate the Courts in this case.
And I say: Offer advice if you wish to, but OP will and should do what suits her.
Beg to differ with 2.)
A good job would have a good manager that would support her.
Did you ever consider that this creep started coming to this clinic after hearing that you work there? These pervs never change. It sounds like he's getting off on making you squirm. I don't think it's a coincidence that he showed up there.
SubSippi
911 Posts
The fact that he doesn't seem ashamed of himself is worrisome to me. He might have paid his debt to society in the eyes of the law, but in my opinion, nine years doesn't seem like very much time for what he did.
And the fact that he continues to put himself in a position where he could see you, smiles at you, and tries to make jokes indicates that he doesn't feel a whole lot of remorse.
I think you should find a new job, regardless of if the doctor refuses to continue seeing him or not. He knows how to find you and could follow you home. See about getting a restraining order. Even if you feel like you don't really need one now, that could change.