Problems with a Doctor I work with, any advice?

Virgo_RN, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2009

Well, it certainly isn't fair, and the MD certainly shouldn't act this way, but it is what it is. Myself, I would probably just try to fly under the radar with this particular doc until she gets used to seeing my face around and lets up with the attitude. I can't say that's the "right" thing to do, but it is most likely what I would do. Best of luck to you!

sicushells, RN · Jun 12, 2009

Some physician's really don't like "new" nurses (new to them, not necessarily new to the profession). Sometimes it just takes time for them to get to know you, prove you're not an idiot, and stand up for yourself. It's difficult, but hopefully it will pass and she'll get her head out of her... ego. There are a couple doctors who behave similarly (though I admit not quite to that degree) in my unit. There have been meetings between the unit manager and the physicians in question to try to address the behavior, but usually I just act oblivious to the fact that they're talking down to me. I know that I'm a professional and I know that I deserve to be treated with respect and have my concerns for my patients addressed in a timely and resonable fashion. If my physician "collegue" chooses to treat me in a less than professional fashion, but I know my behavior was appropriate, than I go home at night without any worries.

That said, when I have a concern I usually have the flow sheet in front of me and have a very specific idea of what I want out of the interaction. This prevents any physician frustration regarding lack of preparedness by the RN. The SBAR communication method might be a good one for you to review, if your institution doesn't already utilize it.

I would also ask for input from the more experienced nurses if there are any you're comfortable with. They might have ways they've dealt with her that you can use too.

Goodluck!

iluvivt, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2009

What you are dealing with is a bully....and bullies will keep railroading you and bullying you IF you let them....she got you to cry...NOW you have to stand your ground and let her know every single time she disrespects you that YOU will not tolerate her abuse...she does not have to like you...she does however have to treat you with respect. Eventually she will back down but it may take a few times of you drawing the line in the sand and saying...BACK OFF...figuratively speaking...you can do it!!!!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jun 12, 2009

what you are dealing with is a bully....and bullies will keep railroading you and bullying you if you let them....she got you to cry...now you have to stand your ground and let her know every single time she disrespects you that you will not tolerate her abuse...she does not have to like you...she does however have to treat you with respect. eventually she will back down but it may take a few times of you drawing the line in the sand and saying...back off...figuratively speaking...you can do it!!!!

i suspect there's a large element of bullying in this negative interaction, but i also think the previous poster had some good suggestions: be prepared every time you know you're going to be working with this physician. know your numbers -- any numbers she might possibly ask you. and if she asks for some numbers you weren't anticipating (a cardiologist i used to work with had a habit of asking "what was the k+ on admission?" if he couldn't stump you any other way), say "just a minute -- i have that information in the chart/on the flowsheet/in eclypsis/whatever." you're new and you undoubtedly have a lot to learn. that means that some of the time when she asks you a question you either won't know the answer or won't understand the significance. that's ok. ask her to explain it to you.

and if all else fails, do what i have done -- so far with great success. call her on it. my personal style runs toward a voice dripping with sarcasm and a comment like "i'm sure doctor smith ordered this consult just to ruin both our days" which just seems to burst out of my mouth with no warning and no thought. i'm not advising that -- although it's worked every single time. but a carefully worded, straightforward question such as "you seem to have a problem working with me" might be in order. the majority of posters are probaby far more tactful than me and able to advise you on how to put it.

morte, LPN, LVN · Jun 12, 2009

i suspect there's a large element of bullying in this negative interaction, but i also think the previous poster had some good suggestions: be prepared every time you know you're going to be working with this physician. know your numbers -- any numbers she might possibly ask you. and if she asks for some numbers you weren't anticipating (a cardiologist i used to work with had a habit of asking "what was the k+ on admission?" if he couldn't stump you any other way), say "just a minute -- i have that information in the chart/on the flowsheet/in eclypsis/whatever." you're new and you undoubtedly have a lot to learn. that means that some of the time when she asks you a question you either won't know the answer or won't understand the significance. that's ok. ask her to explain it to you.
and if all else fails, do what i have done -- so far with great success. call her on it. my personal style runs toward a voice dripping with sarcasm and a comment like "i'm sure doctor smith ordered this consult just to ruin both our days" which just seems to burst out of my mouth with no warning and no thought. i'm not advising that -- although it's worked every single time. but a carefully worded, straightforward question such as "you seem to have a problem working with me" might be in order. the majority of posters are probaby far more tactful than me and able to advise you on how to put it.

sometimes....being too nice or too tactful, will be seen as a weakness......i suspect two thing about this doc....she has a personality issue of her own, and, being in what is still sl a mans world she has gone over board to emulate a male model.....i think her boss might need to be notified and anger management/communication classes suggested......

RN1982 · Jun 12, 2009

I agree with Ruby and any time a doc is snarky with me, I spew out the same sarcastic remarks. It gets the point across that I'm annoyed with the doc. The majority of the docs I work with respect the nurses. If you are in a training program, don't you have a preceptor? If you do have one why have they not stepped in?

How about pulling the doc to the side and saying that you don't appreciate her nasty behavior and telling her you will not tolerate her talking to you disrespectfully?

Tait, MSN, RN · Jun 12, 2009

I would find out if you have a board that mediates Physician behavior, and then document the behavior and submit it.

Tait

PICNICRN, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2009

You are in sort of an "intern program"?? It is totally unacceptable that no one like a preceptor or charge or educatior on even your CNM has stepped in on your behalf! Not that you cannot stand up for yourself but MANAGEMENT should be very concerned that they have a Neonatologist that is bulling new nurses!

The bully has already made you cry- she knows she can break you- You MUST stand up for yourself! Make it absolutely clear to the offender that you do will not be yelled at or belittled in front of your peers and you would appreciate being treated with the respect you have given her. Then make this clear to your supervisor and even HR. If the behavior continues after you have made this known-just go to HR and mention the phrase "hostile work environment"- It will stop!

It is absolutely pathetic that nurses have to deal with this on a daily basis!

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Jun 12, 2009

Hi everybody,
I recently transferred to a NICU nursing training program (I was a Stroke unit nurse), and I'm having problems getting along with a MD at that unit, any advice? I generally work well with the physicians, except this one MD. The other nurse tell me she has always been difficult and she hates new nurses. I had a confrontation with her once in which I tried to talk to her about a pt. and she told me that I needed to find a experienced NICU nurse to talk to her, she then humiliated me in front of my peers by grilling me about the this pt. It was so bad that I burst into tears, and the Charge nurse had to step in, which resulted in the MD apologizing, well since then the MD has made it difficult for me to work with her. She does not acknowledge me, when i preform a nursing intervention, she steps in and take over, because I don't do it correctly or to her liking. I tried being nice to her. I don't want to have another meeting with the charge nurse and the MD, apparently it just makes the MD resent me more. It's so bad I'm stressed out before I go work, and I'm constantly thinking about dropping out of the training program.

Unfortunately, there will always be people with this attitude towards new nurses, Physician and fellow nurses alike. Don't give the witch the satisfaction of running you off. Dig your heals in, Document everything you do for your patients, keep your professional and patient care standards high. Be professional and above all else, never EVER give up. Never ever let anyone intimidate you, and don't give up your passion just because someone has a sour disposition. You definately have my sympathetic ear anytime you need it, I'm just a PM away. Good luck to you.

RNandRRT · Jun 12, 2009

She's a bully and a control freak.

Just be the best nurse you know you can be.

Don't let her ruin the NICU experience. Plenty other neo's that will work wonderfully with you.

Cassaundra · Jun 14, 2009

Umm... Just my opinion, but you may want to pull her aside and ask her what her problem is. Maybe the two of you can come to some sort of common level before dragging mgmt and all into it. The first question from them will be "have you talked to her" before they do anything else. You'll likely get more respect from her if you confront her.