Preceptor is a bully....

[Hardhands]

OK so here is the background:

I'm a new grad starting in the ER were I worked as a CNA for the last year of school. I am 40 years old and a guy.

I was assigned a preceptor who I knew would be tough but I have discovered that she is an abusive ***** (she actually said " my little sister who is not a nurse could get this!"). also she is not teaching me anything, just telling me how incompetent I am.

Now I know how to stand up for myself and all that, but I have a feeling that she is vindictive as hell and she is also one of the charge nurses.

I am not sure that complaining will help me because she will just say that I can't handle the job and that I am blaming her.

She has won awards and is a big deal in the eyes of the higher-ups....

She has also accumulated a lot of enemies in the ER with her abusive behavior but they all seem to be to scared to say anything...

So should I risk it?

I can probably survive, but have this annoying need to not let her get away with her bullying and abuse.

By the way I can totally handle the job ....

What I can't Handle is keeping quiet about all that I am witnessing and experiences.

Tell me what you think.

[Wuzzie]

1 hour ago, familychick said:

We need to get away from allowing nurses to eat their young.

We need to get away from this stupid notion being propagated by nursing schools.

Nobody has a corner market on being treated poorly. There isn't a specific age group that does it more than another. Our profession isn't any worse than others when it comes to bad behavior. You know why? Because humans suck and they're everywhere. 

[maryellen12]

If I was a new graduate working in ER I wouldn't cope well with been bullied.

There is no way in this world that I could play it cool.

Her bullying behaviour would cause me to become anxious, and my anxiety would increase my chances of making an error. 

Hopefully there is someone you can go to within the hospital system with whom you can discuss this problem.

I wouldn't engage her in an argument. 

[Closed Account 12345]

10 hours ago, explorereb96 said:

Excuse me.... but there are plenty of ******** in nursing.   I have seen much in my 37 years that warrant worse than being called a  *****.  She has earned her title and should either wear it proudly or change her crappy attitude.

So do you personally work with the original poster? Have you witnessed his interactions with his preceptor? I'm pretty sure that anonymous internet forums tell one side of a story. His description of the situation may be spot on. It might also be biased, skewed based on how things were perceived due to emotions, or exaggerated.  We can't say because we don't know... So no, I'm not willing to jump on board with calling the precepting nurse we've never met foul names.

I don't support nurses who bully one bit. Not one little bit. I have advocated for new grads my entire career, and if I witnessed a situation like the one described, I'd speak up in a heartbeat.

I also don't support calling people lewd and demeaning names.  If someone is rude, I think it should be firmly addressed. I don't think being rude in return is the professional response; two wrongs don't make a right.

It's not beyond a reasonable doubt that a new graduate who goes online to call his preceptor a foul and demeaning name might have a bit of a crappy attitude, as you called it, and be disrespectful at work himself.  Again, two sides to every story... 

 

 

[RN Perth]

I had this happen when I was a student still final year though, always had good reviews from preceptors & some constructive feedback on things that would improve my overall technique as expected when you're still learning. Any this was at the largest teaching hospital where I live was there for four weeks, I worked with both RN's and EN'S with no issue and then four days before my placement was due to end one of their "senior" staff a CN came back from holidays so they said would I rather go with her as an RN student you can't give certain meds while being preceptored by an EN and I agreed because I get along with most people. Long story short had to do IV antibiotics for a patient so I followed the guidelines (checking for patency etc) was visible fresh blood on a cannula that had been in long enough to not have fresh blood and on inspection patient complained of pain so as per guidelines I noted this and told the CN preceptor that I believed the line wasn't patent (here they don't allow just anyone to do it, you need to be a Dr or have done the cannulation course for nurses it's not covered at uni). Preceptor kept insisting that it was patent and told me to go ahead and do it, although I said we're going allowed to per guidelines I was told to go ahead with the flush as we're wasting time & I was told she'd take responsibility if I was right about the line not being patent proceeded with flush and it started leaking and the patient was complaining of pain so I stopped refused again to go ahead and she said fine I'll do it. The next thing I know she'd made a complaint to the NUM, Staff Development Nurse & uni liaison, got called into a meeting was told that I had apparently been the way to go ahead after she told me not to do it. For the rest of that shift I was banned from giving meds the best they'd let me do was patient OBS and said CN would come behind me and redo them "to make sure she got the exact same reading", following day went back same thing for first hour than called to another meeting to say I'd failed prac and that I'd have to live with it and I spoke up told the uni that it was me who had said the line was not patent and not only could I prove it there was a witness, I had to resit my test at uni on IV basics (flushing, attaching IV meds etc) and passed it again and then they spoke to the patient and the Dr who was in attending to the patient and had actually been planning on changing it anyway. Come to find out later that the CN had never shown any interest in precepting students and was told she couldn't again, the fail still stood and because of the embarassment to the hospital after it was proven that I had refused & only did it because a senior staff member insisted I do it I wasn't allowed to go back to that hospital to finish my prac but was sent to a different one and passed with no issue I've since graduated and now work in GP clinics and aged care. So while you can still get people like that no matter where you work or how long you work but you should also stand by your word and unless you are in the wrong I.e. have had other staff complain about the way you do things if it is an individual than I personally would say something because if it happened to you it could happen to someone else.

[smini]

I’m sorry you are having to go through this.  It’s one of the things I really dislike about nursing and it seems to be a prevalent problem in our profession.  Bullying and abusive behavior has no place in the workplace and should not be tolerated.  Unfortunately, I’ve found that in the healthcare industry, what should happen and what happens in real life are usually completely opposite of each other.  I have worked with some amazing nurses who really took the time to teach and encourage me, and I’ve also worked with nurses who were abusive and had no business being in a preceptor/education role.  Your situation really resonated with me because I too, was in a situation where I was being bullied and treated badly in the workplace.  In my situation, the treatment and statements directed at me were abusive and could be interpreted as harassment.  This went on for several weeks, and I finally got to a point where I felt the treatment from this individual was affecting me and my ability to do my job.  In my situation, I made the decision to file a complaint with my manager and HR.  Unfortunately, I’ve found that management doesn’t really know how to handle these situations and would rather sweep it under the rug.  The bully denied everything and then tried to turn the tables on me and make false accusations against me.  As time went on, I found that if I did not feed into this individual’s game, this person eventually realized that I was not going to take the bait, and then the incentive to continue to bully me was gone.  In the end, I ended up leaving this facility, as it became evident that I was not going to receive any support from management, and I refused to work for an organization that treats its people like it did.  I know how frustrating this must be for you, as I felt many of the feelings that you have expressed.  Trust your gut and your intuition in this situation.  We all can share our suggestions and input, but ultimately you will know what you need to do.  Hang in there!  We’re here to support you.

[Stillcrazyafteralltheseyears]

I wouldn't be able to handle the bullying from staff without telling them that their behavior is affecting me. They either will respond that they didn't mean to come across this way. (You will have to come across with specific incidences of why u feel that way) or they will make you out as weak and sensitive and maybe nursing isn't the right field for you. Do this encounter with the nurse manager present. The goal is to express that you love the fit of working in the ER and that u want to be apart of the team (including having a working relationship with your preceptor). That's what I have done and it usually smoothed out working with that person. Still their were some that would talk behind your back. But at least it wasn't said to my face and eventually the bullier lost support from everyone and u made a much needed positive influence on staff.

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

 

On 11/4/2020 at 10:56 AM, Wuzzie said:

Because humans suck and they're everywhere. 

^I need this on a shirt, and I would wear it probably every single day.

[RN2b3]

My family and friends told me I was crazy I'm pursuing nursing because people I will serve are unhappy people.  They quickly go to Yelp to review my workplace.  I punched back that they are lucky the providers cannot review them. I wonder what my teachers say about me if  ?

 

 

[LibraNurse27, BSN, RN]

19 hours ago, RN2b3 said:

My family and friends told me I was crazy I'm pursuing nursing because people I will serve are unhappy people.  They quickly go to Yelp to review my workplace.  I punched back that they are lucky the providers cannot review them. I wonder what my teachers say about me if  ?

 

 

Not all patients are unhappy; many are quite nice and appreciative, and that is when nursing feels rewarding to me. Usually the unhappy ones are not specifically unhappy with you personally, more with life in general and the situation they are in. It gets easier not to take it personally. Also I've found internet reviews are skewed toward people who felt really passionate about the situation, either positively or negatively.

Most of ours are by patients who received excellent care OR ER patients who complain about the wait time and not getting the meds they wanted. Not much we can do as we are the only county hospital for a huge county and have to triage, and many of our patients suffer from addiction but come to ER for conditions that don't warrant narcotics/benzos. Focus more on your personal satisfaction with your work and you will be much happier ? A negative yelp review doesn't reflect on the care you personally provided... unless if mentions you by name! LOL

[RN2b3]

15 minutes ago, LibraNurse27 said:

Not all patients are unhappy; many are quite nice and appreciative, and that is when nursing feels rewarding to me. Usually the unhappy ones are not specifically unhappy with you personally, more with life in general and the situation they are in. It gets easier not to take it personally. Also I've found internet reviews are skewed toward people who felt really passionate about the situation, either positively or negatively.

Most of ours are by patients who received excellent care OR ER patients who complain about the wait time and not getting the meds they wanted. Not much we can do as we are the only county hospital for a huge county and have to triage, and many of our patients suffer from addiction but come to ER for conditions that don't warrant narcotics/benzos. Focus more on your personal satisfaction with your work and you will be much happier ? A negative yelp review doesn't reflect on the care you personally provided... unless if mentions you by name! LOL

I'm a CNA. I'm satisfied with my patients. Now that I'm in nursing school, I'm still content and happy with my choices. 

 

[RN2b3]

 I don't have  bad experiences with my coworkers who happened to be generally female nurses and CNAs.

[Guest 1152923]

I have been in Nursing for almost 29 years and as both permanent and travel staff, have worked in many, many hospitals and work settings.  I can tell you without hesitation, that sadly, there is this exact (or close variation) personality type in almost every work setting.  This is the only career I have ever held so I'm not entirely sure if this is exclusive to Nursing, although I somehow doubt it.  It's been my experience also, that if these nurses are a carbon-based life form with active licenses, are reasonably or even marginally competent, and show up for work most of the time, sad to say, these behaviors are generally overlooked and swept under the carpet.  Unfortunately, right does not always triumph wrong and it's best to have a plan early on to counter these bullies.