pre op jitters

had an uncomfortable situation in pre op. anyone else experienced this. I was recently transferred to pre op. i am not a young nurse so thought i could handle everything. recently had a high anxiety patient who was treated with kid gloves. spouse was allowed in pre op and even in recovery when he woke up. he was there for inguinal hernia surgery. i went into his room and explained that i had to shave his pubic area. he asked why when the incision was way above that area. they were both very nice people but do not like spouses in the room during pre op. i explained that i would be shaving his pubic are and then taping his penis to the opposite side. he was fine with that. i then asked his wife to step out of the room and he told me no she is staying. I was taken aback and said to him i just want you to be comfortable. he stated he was comfortable with his wife there and then his wife said seems to me the only one uncomfortable here is you. went to my charge nurse and told her i was not comfortable touching a males genitals with his wife there. she went in and told them they would shave him in the or. they just shook their heads but were fine. like i said they were very niv=ce people. is there something wrong with me that i am not comfortable touching male genitals with the spouse present. i am supposed to be a professional and this time made me feel like i cant handle it. any advise would be appreciated Nurses General Nursing

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I had an uncomfortable situation in pre op. anyone else experienced this. I was recently transferred to pre op. i am not a young nurse so thought i could handle everything. recently had a high anxiety patient who was treated with kid gloves. spouse was allowed in pre op and even in recovery when he woke up. he was there for inguinal hernia surgery. i went into his room and explained that i had to shave his pubic area. he asked why when the incision was way above that area. they were both very nice people but do not like spouses in the room during pre op. i explained that i would be shaving his pubic are and then taping his member to the opposite side. he was fine with that. i then asked his wife to step out of the room and he told me no she is staying. I was taken aback and said to him i just want you to be comfortable. he stated he was comfortable with his wife there and then his wife said seems to me the only one uncomfortable here is you. went to my charge nurse and told her i was not comfortable touching a males genitals with his wife there. she went in and told them they would shave him in the or. they just shook their heads but were fine. like i said they were very niv=ce people. is there something wrong with me that i am not comfortable touching male genitals with the spouse present. i am supposed to be a professional and this time made me feel like i cant handle it. any advise would be appreciated

As a patient and a spouse, I feel that as long as we are comfortable the doctor or nurse should be able to carry out whatever exam or prep needs to be done with one or the other of us in the room. As far as saying you wanted the patient to feel comfortable, he had already answered that by saying that he was comfortable with his wife being there. You were the one who was uncomfortable with spouses in the room. Why? If he had an erection you could have explained that sometimes this happens and it is perfectly normal that should have been part of your description of the procedure. If the patient had been a child the parent would have been allowed to stay so why not with an adult.

Both of us have had experiences with healthcare workers that left us both feeling embarrassed and degraded. If my spouse stated that it was fine for me to stay I would wonder why the nurse was so upset that she had to get a charge nurse to refuse my presence during preparation.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.
14 hours ago, czap said:

I am now re thinking nursing alll together as this case has really affected me.

What?! This ONE incident would make you walk away from your career??

Please tell me that line was meant to get people to respond, and not really how you feel about nursing.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
16 hours ago, czap said:

I am now re thinking nursing alll together as this case has really affected me.

Wow. If this is truly the case and not just an exaggerated statement, my personal advice is to maybe see a therapist. Not sure if it’s anxiety or something else but if this one small incident has you rethinking your career, it probably wouldn’t hurt. Not medical advice, just a suggestion.

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i have asked to be moved to post op. this case really threw mel

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Specializes in Adult Primary Care.

I hope it will be a better fit for you. You will find your niche!

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Patients in post op may need to be catheterized or have their memberus examined depending on what surgery they had. There is no guarantee they will be heavily sedated during this time.

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9 hours ago, czap said:

i have asked to be moved to post op. this case really threw mel

I realize my first response was harsh. I was busy advocating for your patient and didn’t really address you. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate how much this was affected you. This is one incident and your response while not how I would have handled it (I’ve did 10+ years pre op/ pacu) is exactly how many people I’ve worked with over the years would have handled it. It’s not a reason to walk away from a job you had been happy with!

I think you should find a trusted co worker or friend to talk about this with and see if you can put this perspective and work on would you could do next time to make the situation comfortable for the patient and yourself. It probably sounded snide in my last response but there is nothing wrong with asking a male staff member to do this procedure, most places I’ve worked would have done it in the OR after he was asleep.

Please don’t let one awkward encounter be a reason to quit.

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

I had major surgery in February and it was really nice having my husband with me in Pre-op. They did shave my groin as that was accessed during surgery. There was nothing for the nurses to be uncomfortable about and they weren't. I hope you can find a way to become comfortable with these things. Patients need their support person.

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On ‎6‎/‎14‎/‎2019 at 6:58 AM, CrunchRN said:

I had major surgery in February and it was really nice having my husband with me in Pre-op. They did shave my groin as that was accessed during surgery. There was nothing for the nurses to be uncomfortable about and they weren't. I hope you can find a way to become comfortable with these things. Patients need their support person.

It is very important for the patient to have a support person at all times unless it would actually interfere with what needs to be done such as actual surgery and not to make it more convenient or less embarrassing for staff. Doctors and nurses have performed all their exams, preparations, and surgeries in front of other people before. There is no reason why it should bother them to perform a normal procedure that in normal everyday circumstances would be embarrassing or inappropriate. This is supposedly a clinical atmosphere and they are performing a procedure to ensure their patient is taken care of nothing else.

The patient needs a support person to ask questions that they may not consider asking such as is it possible for tear away shorts to be provided or scrub pants rather than letting everything hang out. Or to make sure that all allergies or issues have been covered. Or sometimes just to be there to ask why because I can assure you as a patient sometimes you are afraid to ask questions because you might upset your caregiver.

A calm, caring support person means the world to someone who has been sedated and in a dark room not hearing a recognizable voice, or feeling the presence of a loved one or a trusted person. This statement is coming from experience of laying in a dark hospital room scared and alone with only the disembodied voices of caregivers who are strangers. Something that you will never forget.

Having said all this I do hope that you find a place in healthcare that you will feel comfortable providing care for your patients. And you do have to remember that your patient or spouse was not wrong in this situation. If they both were comfortable with the situation and her presence, it was not preventing you from doing your duties.

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 6/12/2019 at 10:00 AM, brownbook said:

I don't know, it's old age, or what...but I am not perfectly comfortable with touching member's of wide awake alert patients. (Honestly I think they are yucky).

brownbook, you are obviously in touch with both your stage of development as described by Erikson and your professional side.

And I love it when you talk techy.

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why has no one answered me on my last posting. Shame because of this case I am thinking of leaving nursing. What if he got an erection in front of his wife...how would i handle that. I just need some advise and confidence please

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
25 minutes ago, czap said:

why has no one answered me on my last posting. Shame because of this case I am thinking of leaving nursing. What if he got an erection in front of his wife...how would i handle that. I just need some advise and confidence please

You need to find your own confidence. We cannot do that for you. As far as advice -- I cannot even see the problem. When you're a nurse, you sometimes have to touch genitals. Male genitals, female genitals -- they're just body parts. You're not there in a personal capacity, you're there to prepare him for surgery.

I don't understand why this is all such a huge issue. It's just a part of the job.

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