Personal relationships with professors?

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A professor that i took A&P 2 with last semester emailed me about having coffee! Im not sure what to tell him as far as yes or no because i had planned on taking another course with him during the fall! I dont want to hurt my chances on getting into his class because I need it for my BSN but im not sure about this whole meeting for coffee thing!!

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

I'd call anyone BUT him if i needed anything.

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.
Wow, I really hope that's a sarcastic sense of humor you have!:uhoh3:

Like everyone else said, there's absolutely no sense in either pursuing this or letting him pursue you. You can pretend you're otherwise involved, or be more direct and say you would never want ANYONE to think that there was ever any inappropriate relationship between the two of you, and that includes going out off campus for coffee. You can let him know what a shame it would be to have anyone think there was an ETHICS problem here ;)

Personally, I'd choose another instructor for the next class.

I agree. But why do you have to 'pretend' you have a jealous boyfriend, are otherwise involved, etc. etc.

This is unethical! If he continues in this unsolicited pursuit, if you're feeling uncomfortable, worrying about taking classes, etc. I would report him.

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Ditto what suzy253 said!

Just some advice from someone who has dealt with a similar situation, keep the emails just incase.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU, Neuro/Trauma stepdown.

:1luvu: I was soooo smitten with my biologies professor, i took every science required with him. he was the best teacher, most knowledgable, funny and soooo handsome. ***sigh*** i daydreamt all through class about taking him into the back, throwing aside the petrie dishes and going to town....

but no, i don't think you should get involved, and you KNOW that he knows better...:trout:

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

I have a couple of friends who are in graduate school and they do socialize with their professors of the opposite sex. They commonly meet at Starbucks, etc. Grad school is different than undergrad though.

Keep the emails!

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I don't see the problem w/ him asking you out AFTER grades were out and you no longer had a professional relationship. I don't see how that would be unethical.

He had no way of knowing that you planned to take another class with him.

Now, it would be unethical of you to date him and then take another class with him. And so, you did the right thing.

But then, even if he wanted it to go that way (date), he did only ask for coffee. And so, his intentions were not fully vetted. I think maybe he deserves some benefit of the doubt. It's difficult sometime to ask women out. Y'all can't treat EVERY unwanted gesture as some unethical harrassment. How are you going to get the 'wanted' gestures if somebody can't risk 'striking out'? I think maybe you women should re-examine the difficulty of the dating game from the guy's point of view. (mind you, I'm not addressing the OP or any other poster; that's a rhetorical comment/statement.)

There are really only two ways to meet someone to 'date': a player's game of one-liners and banter, or a polite invitation 'for coffee'. I actually prefer the latter.

I think the invite was essentially harmless (you no longer had a professional relationship) so long as he takes a polite no as no the first time around.

In any case, I agree that it's probably best to not take another class with him.

~faith,

Timothy.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU, Neuro/Trauma stepdown.
I

He had no way of knowing that you planned to take another class with him.

:yeahthat:

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Specializes in OR Internship starting in Jan!!.

I don't think it was wrong of him to ask, but if you want to take other classes with him, I wouldn't meet up with him.

I wasn't so smart and said yes. It wasn't a good idea in the long run. Ahh, the things we do when we are young :D But, to each their own :)

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I don't see the problem w/ him asking you out AFTER grades were out and you no longer had a professional relationship. I don't see how that would be unethical.

The thing that comes to mind with this, while I very much agree with what you posted, is that I just came out of a small-school environment. If I were to begin dating a former science professor, you can bet your tushie that the entire nursing faculty would know about it FAST. And, speaking only of my experience at this relatively small school, I know I would not be looked upon favorably or with respect for doing so. Frankly, it's tough enough to win respect from some instructors without having them think you a bimbo:chair:

So even if the original poster were to take the POV that this was nothing more than a simple overture from a presumed-to-be-former professor, she should steer clear of the appearance of impropriety, for her future success in the program. Just my thoughts on the subject :)

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Specializes in Operating Room.

I wouldn't take another class with him either way.

If you do go out with him, you could be accused of being given higher grades, and if you don't go out with him, you will always wonder if he graded your papers fairly.

If you think there may be something, then go for coffee....you never know...he may be 'the one', but as I said above, I wouldn't take another class with him.

:)

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I don't see anything wrong with you seeing him outside of campus, as long as you are not in his class.

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