Ped client with a difficult mom! HELP!!

Specialties Private Duty

Published

Please everybody, I need to vent. Bear with me & help me please, lol...

Ok, I have been working with a child on a trach & vent for 2 months now. The mom works from home-unfortunately. Before I came along, she had 4 other nurses out there that she sent away because according to her, they were incompetent.

Right away, I could tell that the other nurses weren't the problem, it was her!! She claims that she likes me & that I take good care of her child, but she just started letting me give them a bath last month (I was a CNA for 6 years, think I know how to give a good bed bath). She won't let me do trach care, she insists on doing it not being clean or sterile with it at all, then complains when the child has an infection around the trach. Gee I wonder why??

She's extremely rude to me & to everyone but then wants to complain to me that she has no friends, no support & she's so burnt out. Complains she cant sleep at night because the noc nurses keep up so much noise.

I just recently switched from days to nocs. The first noc, I changed the child a couple of times & repositioned. When I was leaving in the morning, she didn't believe that I had changed the child because she didn't hear me in the room with the child (she has her bed in the child's room). I told her I intentionally kept quiet so I wouldn't wake her up. (Even though I can't stand her, I still try to be nice & caring). She kept asking me if I was sure I had changed them or not!!

Another reason why I think she doesn't care for me anymore is because I don't come to her house to hang out with her on my days off, I haven't gone hiking with her...she doesn't understand that I'm there to take care of her child, not be her friend.

I've been complaining to get out of there the first week I started and the company wouldnt let me! If I'm not happy with the client or their family & at times feel almost scared to ask a question because she's gonna snap, shouldn't they move me around?

Also, when it comes to the childs meds, the mom changes things & move them around because she thinks she knows everything. I try explaining to her, I have to follow the MAR. If you want to give this & give that then you have to do it yourself.

Aahhh!! Sorry, but it feels so good to vent to fellow professionals. Maybe someone can give me some advice on how to handle her?

The next step? I will have to quit!

Specializes in pediatric.

Oops! Looks like I'm late at the gate with my comments. Please refer your replacement to this thread, lol ;)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Pediatrics, Vents, Trachs.

Hello, fellow nurses!! An update to this case: I have been off of it for about 5 weeks now and I am happier than I have been in a long time. But just 30 mins ago, the crazy mom text me and wanted there to be no hard feelings between us because her daughter was so attached to me and she wants me back on the case. Apparently, my agency told her that I didn't want to be on the case anymore, which of course is true, but they should have never told her that. That was just unprofessional. My plan was to get another nurse in there as a back up and then slowly let me off the case, not just pull me! But, whatever, that's done now. Now, the new nurse isn't working out and she wants me to come back!! LOL!! She was the most rude person I've ever met and there was so much more going on in the house that I didn't even bother to say because it's so unbelievable and I honestly don't think people would believe me. I have not responded to her and am contemplating just ignoring her or telling the agency that she has text me, yet again, cause she text me 3 weeks ago and asked me to call her...What do I do?!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Block the number from your phone and walk away. Boundaries are being blurred if she is reaching out to you directly. You could advise the office. Delete her number & don't respond

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.

Ignore it.

I recently ran in to a parent while working on another case. I left the family because they were nuts. I told them the agency wanted me to help with some other cases so that I didn't make the family mad. The agency told them I didn't want to be there anymore. So the parent was doing construction work at another patients house (my luck, I'd run into them). I was outside only to take the trash out and heard my name. I couldn't have had worse timing. Then the parent asked me about why I didn't want to work for them. It was very awkward. I just told him to talk to the agency about requesting me and that I float a lot. Inn not saying a word to the agency. And hopefully I don't run in to that family again!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Pediatrics, Vents, Trachs.
Ignore it.

I recently ran in to a parent while working on another case. I left the family because they were nuts. I told them the agency wanted me to help with some other cases so that I didn't make the family mad. The agency told them I didn't want to be there anymore. So the parent was doing construction work at another patients house (my luck, I'd run into them). I was outside only to take the trash out and heard my name. I couldn't have had worse timing. Then the parent asked me about why I didn't want to work for them. It was very awkward. I just told him to talk to the agency about requesting me and that I float a lot. Inn not saying a word to the agency. And hopefully I don't run in to that family again!

Yeah, I'm thinking I have to agree with you on this one. Especially because in the text she said she "heard" that I didn't want to work with them anymore. That leads me to believe that someone from the agency told her that and they shouldn't have. They should've told her anything but that, because it puts me in a difficult position. So, I think I'll just ignore it. I've already deleted her number, next I'm going to block it and document it...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in pediatrics; PICU; NICU.

What I really don't understand is why nurses give families their personal phone numbers. All communication should be done through the agency.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in retired LTC.

Avoid her!!!! You have no obligation to talk to her anymore and whatever the agency told her is water under the bridge (and they notoriously will weave the story to protect their own image).

If she continues to call you, it could be considered stalking and/or harassment. That Mom has a problem and you are not her bud.

Keep your distance - don't try to be a nice guy trying to explain. It won't work. Cut off all contact from your end.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Document everything fully, to include your communications with the agency concerning this. I had a problem with stalker ex-family member(s) and kept telling my agency about it. They refused to help me in any way and blamed me for everything I complained about. You might expect that the agency will try to make you the bad guy in this scenario. Next time around keep in mind that the client should not be given your phone number. Now you know one of the reasons why.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatric Private Duty; Camp Nursing.

I do not like to give out my number until I work a case for some time and feel pretty confident that the caregiver is sensible and we have developed a comfortable rapport. There have been times where the on-call liaison takes a half-hour or more to complete a communication that would take 10 seconds to text directly, like, "Backup on the highway, will be 10 minutes late" or they can tell me "we're running late, can you come at 11:15 instead of 11?" Once I went on a field trip to a pumpkin patch w a client. Mom was sad she couldn't take off work to chaperone, so I texted her some cute pics (which I then deleted off my phone and told her so).

For bigger things, like changed times or cancelled nights, we will also put in a call to the office/on call, as well as a texted heads-up. Once I knew of a cancellation from the mom five hours before I was officially notified!! Once the clinical manager couldn't get a hold of a mom, and knew she always responded to me, so she asked me to help contact her, which I was able to do immediately! Some parents I'd never give my number to. But overall it's been highly useful and never weird. I realize that now I've said that...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Peds(PICU, NICU float), PDN, ICU.

I never share my cell number, only my home number. I'm almost never at home and the ringer stays off. All calls to the home phone are forwarded to my cell so I control when I'm contacted. I also can make the numbers I choose go to voice mail on my cell phone and I don't have voice mail. So those calls just disappear. It works well. So in the rare case that I share my number, I can control any possible damage. My home number is public info on the internet and in phone books anyway.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Pediatrics, Vents, Trachs.
What I really don't understand is why nurses give families their personal phone numbers. All communication should be done through the agency.

ok...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
What I really don't understand is why nurses give families their personal phone numbers. All communication should be done through the agency.

Sometimes the agency gives out the numbers; it really depends on the case...I usually did not give out my number, but for the few where I was taking my kiddos to Drs appointments or if the parent was at work or in errands where there may be an emergency, I would give them the number...for everyone else (especially the crazy ones) they usually didn't have my number. :no:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment