Patients wants a back rub

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How did the bedtime back rub come to be associated with nurses? MANY years ago I was doing agency staffing. I got called in to a very fancy private hospital to do a shift. One of my assigned patients rang the call bell. When I went into the room she wanted her "bedtime back rub." Being young and eager to please I gave her a back rub, but the whole thing felt really icky to me. Was there a time when nurses were night time massage people?

That was good! It seems the topic has been a sore spot for some and rubbed some others the wrong way.

Now that's just "icky".

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Massage is not beneficial ONLY if one is in pain. There are all kinds of therapeutic benefits which have little or nothing to do with relieving pain.

I think the main reason it has disappeared from the nursing landscape is that nurses simply do not have the time to do this kind of care. Patients are very sick, they have more patients than they should, and there is a lot more technology and documentation that has to be done when compared to the days where this was seen as a routine part of nursing care.

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Specializes in ICU.
I'm surprised at how many people on this thread seem to be sexualizing this to some degree. It's nursing care, folks. It's no different than when you "touch" someone to start an IV or change a dressing. It's certainly a lot less intimate than doing peri care or catheterizing someone (or do people here refuse to do those things, too?) Wow, I really am an old fogey now ...

Peri care and catheterizing someone are way less intimate than a back massage. IMO, an action isn't intimate because of the areas you're touching; it's intimate because of the intention behind it. We touch genitals to clean them or to stick medical devices in them. That's way different than attempting to cause pleasurable sensations by massaging a person.

For the record, if I were a patient and a nurse started slowly massaging my back without my permission, I would be extremely offended. I would feel way more violated than if the same nurse did peri care, and I would make sure I didn't have that nurse back again. I am not okay with people rubbing their hands over me for a reason other than medical necessity.

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Peri care and catheterizing someone are way less intimate than a back massage. IMO, an action isn't intimate because of the areas you're touching; it's intimate because of the intention behind it. We touch genitals to clean them or to stick medical devices in them. That's way different than attempting to cause pleasurable sensations by massaging a person.

For the record, if I were a patient and a nurse started slowly massaging my back without my permission, I would be extremely offended. I would feel way more violated than if the same nurse did peri care, and I would make sure I didn't have that nurse back again. I am not okay with people rubbing their hands over me for a reason other than medical necessity.

I don't touch anyone at work without permission.

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Specializes in Family Practice.

This reminds me of a funny story. I had a little old lady who was quite curious and she was playing with the bed one evening, unbeknownst to me. I look over at the monitor because it's alarming that she's in V-fib. I shoot into her room and she had put the bed in percussion mode.

She was so excited, she thought it was a massage mode and she kept turning it on. I think it lasts for 10 minutes or so and all my co-workers kept freaking out because the monitor would read V fib from the vibrations. Lol

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Specializes in ICU / PCU / Telemetry / Oncology.

I once had a patient who requested to have her feet rubbed before sleep. I flat out refused. She said other nurses did it (because they didn't have the courage to say no). I still refused. She happened to be one of the nastiest patients to staff I've ever encountered, so nasty that staff had to be rotated every day. The DON even screamed at her once out of frustration. It was my pleasure not giving in to her Waldorf desire, and at that point I couldn't have cared less about Press-Ganey scores!!

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Back rubs make my skin crawl. I'm not that nurse. Touchy feely is not in my DNA.

Whatever level of enjoyment my patient received, would be equal to my level of repulsion. That's not an exaggeration.

Lol yea, I hear ya, would make me incredibly uncomfortable. I guess it would depend on the circumstance for instance someone laying in excruciating back pain maybe but someone just comfortably laying nah there I would likely tell the pt "I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable doing that". First of all would make my skin crawl even with gloves but also c'mon where do we draw the line? nurse/therapist/maid now masseuse?

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I once had a patient who requested to have her feet rubbed before sleep. I flat out refused. She said other nurses did it (because they didn't have the courage to say no). I still refused. She happened to be one of the nastiest patients to staff I've ever encountered, so nasty that staff had to be rotated every day. The DON even screamed at her once out of frustration. It was my pleasure not giving in to her Waldorf desire, and at that point I couldn't have cared less about Press-Ganey scores!!

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Lol I'm curious exactly what you said.

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Specializes in ICU / PCU / Telemetry / Oncology.
Lol I'm curious exactly what you said.

Conversation more or less went like this ...

ME: "What? Absolutely not! I don't do that."

PATIENT: "My feet hurt, I'm in pain. You're saying that you won't massage my feet to relieve my pain?"

ME: "Nope. Not doing it."

PATIENT: "The other nurses have done it."

ME: "You're dealing with me tonight. And I'm not doing that. Good night!" [shuts door]

I used to be the type of person long ago that had trouble saying NO. Something snapped along the way, I guess I got tired of people using me and now it's not something I have problems doing. Especially this woman. And had she complained about my refusal it would be attributed to the craziness she had already established with staff. I was never approached about it lol.

She was extremely demanding and was always on the call button. She would come out into the hallway and yell out "Where's my nurse?" (Mind you, she was isolation too), claims she's been waiting 20 minutes since the call bell was rung, when it was really 2 minutes. Always complaining about staff not giving in to her outrageous requests and ridiculous meal orders. I remember once telling her (had her multiple times during her 45-day stay): "If you hate it here so much, why don't you just go to another hospital? You have that option. We are not the only ones in the area." Her reply: "Because I'm here."

The way I was with this patient mind you is definitely NOT typical of how I treat my other patients! That woman was a serious mental case. I've never had anyone else in my career so taxing in patient care.

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Home Health, ECF.
Now the last time I was in the hospital I was told I wasn't allowed to shower and was given no other alternative for bathing and had a note left on my bedside tablet explaining that they don't change sheets except when visibly soiled because "the environment" and no one even straightened the ones I had at any point.

That happened to me also when I was a patient. I washed in the bathroom after I could get someone to carry the stuff in there to bathe. My sheets were not changed unless soiled. No one even took off my TEDS and put them back on. But I must say I did get good nursing care. Back rubs and baths aren't priorities anymore because staff are just too busy ( charting in the EMRs, filling out reports, etc. )

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Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
That happened to me also when I was a patient. I washed in the bathroom after I could get someone to carry the stuff in there to bathe. My sheets were not changed unless soiled. No one even took off my TEDS and put them back on. But I must say I did get good nursing care. Back rubs and baths aren't priorities anymore because staff are just too busy ( charting in the EMRs, filling out reports, etc. )

That blows me away. Bathing is basic care. If a patient can't stand in the shower, they get a bed or chair bath. Nursing 101. Don't tell me that's gone the way of the dodo. How to you assess skin integrity?

I'm feeling my age.

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That blows me away. Bathing is basic care. If a patient can't stand in the shower, they get a bed or chair bath. Nursing 101. Don't tell me that's gone the way of the dodo. How to you assess skin integrity?

I'm feeling my age.

Yes, no bathing any more, and no linen changes. I've seen this for several years now. My family member was given a complimentary personal hygiene kit they were too sick to use (not that anyone offered to get them a basin with water, washcloth, towels, soap, etc), and they lay in the same sheets until I helped them with their hygiene and managed to find some clean sheets to change their bed.

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