Patients family in the medical field

Wyse'nUp · May 20, 2015

This has happened to me before. In my situation though, I think that they were really trying to impress the patient or other family members. It can be annoying though.

dreamer30 · May 20, 2015

This has happened to me before. In my situation though I think that they were really trying to impress the patient or other family members. It can be annoying though.[/quote']
I work in Peds and we get mothers who are nurses and it's like...ok you can use medical terms good for you.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · May 20, 2015

If they're sincerely knowledgeable and helpful, I don't mind. If they're silly or overbearing, it does get annoying ...but I've found that it works best to treat them like they know a lot, regardless. I let them know my plans, involve them in decisions, and gush about how great the patient's care is sure to be with such wonderful family at the bedside. 99.9% of the time, that makes them happy.

dudette10, MSN, RN · May 20, 2015

If a patient's family member is "in the medical field," it usually means the person is not an RN or an MD/DO because you'd better believe they'll say "nurse" or "doctor" if he/she truly is one. Then, there are the ones who fudge it a little...

My favorite was the patient who wouldn't agree to take any meds without speaking to his son first because he was A DOCTOR! The son came in, and he was hopping mad from the get-go because he couldn't dictate to EMS where his father was being taken. I work in a community teaching hospital, but he wanted his dad to go to the university-affiliated hospital. Oh, yeah, we would eventually work out a transfer, but not at 1800 on admission day! The son was a total *******. Throwing questions at me rapid-fire and not allowing me to answer, all the while I'm trying to get his dad settled. Very quickly, I just stopped trying and let him clear out his blowhole. That seemed to work because he just exhausted himself.

Ends up the son was a psychologist. Not a psychiatrist MD--a psychologist PsyD. He googled all the meds.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · May 20, 2015

I try not to play the Nurse card until I get tired of the one syllable words and let them know I understand Medicalspeak lol. It saves a lot of time. One thing I never do is act like I know everything (something I could easily do-after all, I HAVE been a nurse almost 40 years! Feel free to roll your eyes and gag now), although I did once give an impromptu inservice on Kennedy Terminal Wounds to a group of ICU staff who had never heard of it and were mortified when my mom developed one (she was transferred out and admitted to Hospice that day).

vanilla bean · May 20, 2015

We had a patient just recently whose father worked in "the medical field." He worked at a nearby facility in environmental services (aka housekeeping). Housekeepers must also be required to complete HIPAA training because he would interrogate the patient's nurses regularly about whether different practices on our unit were HIPAA violations.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · May 20, 2015

It is a control issue. When parents have children who are ill, they feel very out of control. Top that off with a nurse who has an ill child, and increase that anxiety/need for control ten-fold.

One of the ways to perhaps work with this is to have said parent an active part in the patient care plan. Make sure that the parent is there to discuss treatment with the MD. Make sure that you have discussion of plan of care with the parents. That the nurse parent then starts informing you of their child's condition is OK. "Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Do you think the plan of care will address your child's needs at present?"

No one knows a child's norm better than their parents. And for a nurse parent, it is a HUGE conflict of what one clinically is seeing, and their hope and dream for their child. So a coping mechanism is to start discussing the clinical components of the child's condition, as to not have to face the realities of what is presenting medically.

I think we all, at one time or another, start babbling about CBC's, and all the other highly suggestive aspects of care/diagnosis when we just can't face at the time the reality of a critically ill child. Especially our own.

The parent is not attempting to get you worked up, or dazzle you with their bull. They are attempting to talk out the condition with another professional as to try to make sense of what is happening. And especially when a nurse doesn't usually take care of peds. Adults and peds are different, so what is a norm for an adult acute care nurse doesn't always compute well to peds. So even a "I understand that in your specialty, the course of care would be different. In your child's case, because the pediatric population is different, we are looking at _________. I hope this sounds reasonable. If you have any thoughts about this though, the MD rounds at ____________. Please discuss this with him/her so that you can come to a middle ground."

Bless you for taking care of sick kids. It is perhaps one of the harder parts of nursing.

dreamer30 · May 20, 2015

It is a control issue. When parents have children who are ill, they feel very out of control. Top that off with a nurse who has an ill child, and increase that anxiety/need for control ten-fold.
One of the ways to perhaps work with this is to have said parent an active part in the patient care plan. Make sure that the parent is there to discuss treatment with the MD. Make sure that you have discussion of plan of care with the parents. That the nurse parent then starts informing you of their child's condition is OK. "Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Do you think the plan of care will address your child's needs at present?"
No one knows a child's norm better than their parents. And for a nurse parent, it is a HUGE conflict of what one clinically is seeing, and their hope and dream for their child. So a coping mechanism is to start discussing the clinical components of the child's condition, as to not have to face the realities of what is presenting medically.
I think we all, at one time or another, start babbling about CBC's, and all the other highly suggestive aspects of care/diagnosis when we just can't face at the time the reality of a critically ill child. Especially our own.
The parent is not attempting to get you worked up, or dazzle you with their bull. They are attempting to talk out the condition with another professional as to try to make sense of what is happening. And especially when a nurse doesn't usually take care of peds. Adults and peds are different, so what is a norm for an adult acute care nurse doesn't always compute well to peds. So even a "I understand that in your specialty, the course of care would be different. In your child's case, because the pediatric population is different, we are looking at _________. I hope this sounds reasonable. If you have any thoughts about this though, the MD rounds at ____________. Please discuss this with him/her so that you can come to a middle ground."
Bless you for taking care of sick kids. It is perhaps one of the harder parts of nursing.

I understand what your saying. I have parents that are a blessing and record everything for you and are very informative because they are in the field. But sometimes you get the annoying ones.

RNperdiem, RN · May 20, 2015

Are they really trying to show your up, or is that a bit of your own insecurity? I suspect that nurses have worked with many families who do not disclose their medical background. A really confident nurse is not the least put out by any qualifications a visitor might have.

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · May 20, 2015

Sometimes it is really life saving, in a very rural hospital in Arkansas, no ICU, the nurses had not seen a chest tube placed and seemed to not know its care when a youn surgeon got there to place a chest tube in my husband who had a 90% hemothroax.......I told the surgeon, assisted in 100s, I will help you :)

a couple years ago after a quad CABG, 48+ hrs later my husband developed the very common SVT, it was not being managed, when he started dropping blood pressure.....I went to nurses station, and asserted they will get his hemodynamics stabilized or I was calling rapid response.......the novice nurse came in with cardone drip, and ask , i kid you not "how much bolus shoud I give with the drip....I told her......Didnt particularly like having to make those decissions....but......I did go to nurse manager and suggest inservice was needed on mgt of a fairly common rhythm disturbance after CABG

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · May 20, 2015

In a significant number of cases, they may fudging on the truth or outright lying.

I have had critical care cases, where a family member claimed to be a PS or a critical nurse and within a matter of minutes, clearly demonstrated that they didn't know what they were talking about. Such as having no clue what an ABG was, or reporting that their pain member "vomited" their meds up and absolutely had to have more - the meds had been given IV. Or that the pt had morphine ordered for pain, and because three different areas hurt, we should give three times as much because each site of pain will use it's amount.