Patient request you not take care of them?

Nurses General Nursing

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Has anyone ever had a family/patient request that you not take care of them? How did you react to this without letting it break your spirit?

In my area, there are quite a few racial refusals (patients refusing nursing care from nurses who do not belong to their racial-ethnic origin).

Do you work exclusively in psych?

I wouldn't think that would be allowed otherwise.

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It happens.

I would consider myself lucky not to have to deal with some of them, though usually it's the family that is the pain in the butt and the complainer, not the patient (I work with adults, not babies).

Like others have said, it's usually a blessing in disguise.

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Do you work exclusively in psych?

I wouldn't think that would be allowed otherwise.

I haven't worked in a psych hospital in 2 years.

The racial refusals in my metro area typically occur in acute care hospitals. Although racism can and does occur everywhere, I am in a part of the U.S. where it is especially out in the open. Therefore, racial refusals are accommodated unless a nurse who belongs to the patient's racial-ethnic background cannot be found.

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Specializes in PICU.

It has happened to me and I actually was relieved because the feeling was mutual. The parents thought I was too quick to respond to alarms. Another family, not one that I was caring for thought nurse caring for the pt and I were talking about her, which was not the case. We moved to the back part of the room so as not to distrub the family. Thank goodness I was out of tat room. I think it is pretty typically mutual

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Thanks everyone for your kind words!

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Specializes in Med/Surge, Psych, LTC, Home Health.

It has happened to me, I'm sorry to say, FIVE different times that I can remember. First time was a LOONGG time ago when I was still an aide, and I really can't remember what the problem was. Second time, I was taking care of this man who was dying, and his family, they were very attentive to his care... and very particular. One night I was taking care of him and I had, like eight other patients, three of which were receiving blood transfusions. I was very overwhelmed and flustered, not to mention still a brand new nurse. The family saw right through me. 'sokay...

Third time, was just a VERY difficult patient who made me extremely nervous. She was so difficult... she ended up pretty much complaining about EVERYONE, and I don't think she had the same nurse more than once.

Fourth time was the one time I truly regret; I was truly in the wrong. A patient told his wife that he had had a "horrible" night, and so the wife told the day charge nurse that she didn't want the night nurse back in his room. Another difficult patient and family member, but he was getting 2mg of Dilaudid every 2 hours and still wasn't getting enough pain control. I had refused to call the doc late at night to increase his pain medication. Turns out he was really sicker than I thought and he SHOULD have had an increase; he probably should have gotten a Dilaudid PCA. Still, he had been getting the same dosage for like, two days prior with no apparent problems.

And, the last time it happened, I received like, a TWO page complaint from this family over a lot of really petty stuff, but I think it boiled down to the fact that they had had a bad day, they were frustrated, and then I happened to come in the room, I didn't have all the information that they would have LIKED for me to have, and I probably wasn't as patient with them as I could have been either. I mean, they put me on the defensive as soon as I went into the room with the way they were acting and talking to me. I simply wasn't in the mood for it; I wasn't overtly nasty but... I think sometimes I'm just too easy to see through...

In spite of all that, I STILL think I'm a good nurse. I've been a nurse for five years. That's one complaint for every year. I'm doing good.

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I once had a family refuse for me to care for their father because I had been involved in a car crash that involved a fatality a few months prior...the daughter in law was afraid that I would "murder" her father in law too. I was hurt by it, but a few years later when they sued the hospital, I was glad that I had never even been in the room.

I also had a lady refuse me because I had tapped her telephone so that I could listen to her private conversations with her minister on my car radio. Wow...I never knew that I had access to such equipment! This lady was whacked beyond belief and management almost encouraged her to be...they even had a friend of a friend who worked for the phone company check out her line at her request.

I've been refused because I am too short and I am (was) too young and just because people didn't like me for whatever reason...more often than not the problem was them, not me. Life goes on...

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Med-Surg..

It happened to me twice when I was in school. The first time that patient didn't want a student to remove her staples. The second time was with a psych patient who decided the minute she looked at me that she didn't like and then proceeded to try to punch and kick me.

I really think that this must happen to everyone at least once in their career.

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Race matters, but people are jerks. This is what I mean. One should never refuse care due to racism. On the other hand, a friend told me a story about her first female exam experience. She was at a clinic and a doc took her in with him, asked the patient, who was black, if a couple of nursing students could come in and watch. She gave her ok, and in came eight med students, two female, six male, all students and doc are white. By the time they finished the woman was crying and shaking. So, while patients should not be racists, care providers should be race conscious.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i've had it happen a few times, and although it always hurts, you can't let it get to you. usually it's for some stupid reaso that has thing to do with who you are as a person or as a nurse. to illustrate:

one patient refused my care because the lying scum of a married man she was dating told her i was his sister and i disapproved of their relationship. (i did disapprove -- mainly because i was his wife.)

one patient's wife refused my care because she'd overheard me talking to a fellow general hospital fan about the hiv status of a character. even after the other nurse (and my boss) explained to her, she still dissed me to all the other patient families for "openly discussing a patient's hiv status."

one patient refused my care "because she's a *****" but said he'd relent if i'd "**** my ****".

one patient's wife refused my care because after the umpteenth time she'd asked me to fetch her some oj, a blanket, a pillow, adjust the thermostat, etc. i told her (probably pretty impatiently) that i was here to care for her husband, and that the oj, blankets, pillows and room temperature were for his comfort and that of the other patients.

i was happy not to have to take care of any of those folks again!

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

I've had patients request for me to not care for them and it's usually after spending a shift or two running back and forth to appease their demands and then when i've reached my point and become firm with them and they don't get what they want, they complain. And I don't care if they don't want me to take care of them.

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First, let me say that people will tell you not to take it personally BUT it is a situation that is being directed at you , SO it is personal. Now, everyone has a right to their own opinion and not everyone will like you or want you as their nurse. That's life but in the same vein, you can choose not to have a particular patient because of what ever reason. In my career, I have refused to care for many patients and did not always have a definite reason; I just didn't feel right with certain patients and did not want them. We all have a choice and have to live with those choices. Whenever I was "dismissed" by a patient, I told myself it was personal, not professional. It was me they didn't want, not my nursing abilities. It is a job, not a popularity contest. So, feel bad if you want but do it for only a short amount of time , then get back in the game. I tell myself frequently, "IT IS MY OPINION OF MYSELF THAT COUNTS, NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S.":D:D:loveya:

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