Patient made me feel like low life

StephanieP2009 · Jun 27, 2010

I also have a wrist tattoo. It's a heart with the letter J in it for my husband. When religious people or elderly people ask me about it or complain about it, I tell them it's for Jesus. LOL, that shuts them up super quick.

lylenrn · Jun 27, 2010

Nursing is a very weird profession. Patients often feel the need to criticize/humiliate perfect strangers. (Not the smartest idea since this person is making life/death decisions in their care). Nurses in general are part of a larger population that has different ways of self expression (tatoos, pink hair,etc) This has nothing to do with their ability to care for their patients. Although very often patients will verbalize things that would be deemed inappropriate in any other setting. Pls remember that her statements are about her......not you.

kcrewfive · Jun 27, 2010

I am a born again Christian and I would never tell someone that they are stupid for having tats or tell them how ugly they are. That is very rude to do. Once a tat is on then why tell the person how much YOU hate them? I am not "religious" I have a relationship with Christ but someone who does not understand this would say that I was a religious person. I hate to be clumped in with rude naysayers just because of what I believe in.

Just tell people what the "J" actually stands for. Don't be embarrassed or feel like you need lie and hide it. It is no ones business pt or not. As long as you are using universal precautions and you are clean and sanitary then why should anyone complain.? I think some pt's are just angry about their situation or are in pain and act rudely. OR... some are just plain rude all the time. You do not owe anyone a response. Just change the topic to something other than your tats and move on. Don't take what pt's say, personally. You can give them you absolute all and some will still spit in your face and treat you like a servant and nothing more.

Tomorrow is another day.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Jun 27, 2010

Yep, in nursing you are expected to be a mother Teresa unless the pt is atheist of course. Otherwise, expect to be criticized about your weight, hair color (or lack of), perfume/cologne, the load of money (they assume) you make, having the audacity to sit (charting) at the nurses station drinking coffee, smiling (or not), etc.....

It's a no winner. Just keep smiling, do your wonderful job and let is slide down your back.

Batman25 · Jun 27, 2010

Some people just need to take a big glass of STHU and this woman is one of them. Don't give anyone the power to make you feel badly about yourself. This is a statement of her being judgmental and rude. Nothing more than that.

pers · Jun 27, 2010

I think you handled it well and as others said, it's a reflection of her, not you. Patients and families like that aren't worth stressing over.

mamamerlee, LPN · Jun 27, 2010

OK. When you have visible tats you are drawing attention to yourself. You have them in order to be noticed. So when someone makes negative remarks about them, you need to be able to take it in stride. You need to find some appropriate remarks to deflect the 'rude' aspects.

Why do we wear colorful jewelry, lots of makeup, unusual hairstyles or visible tattoos and then get upset if someone doesn't like it? Even when we, as individuals, enjoy these types of rather harmless self-expression, we need to be prepared for those who are not afraid to comment on them.

I think your real issue here was the overall way they treated you, and the remarks about your tats just hit close to the bone.

Meesterjojo · Jun 27, 2010

Nursing is a very weird profession. Patients often feel the need to criticize/humiliate perfect strangers. (Not the smartest idea since this person is making life/death decisions in their care). Nurses in general are part of a larger population that has different ways of self expression (tatoos, pink hair,etc) This has nothing to do with their ability to care for their patients. Although very often patients will verbalize things that would be deemed inappropriate in any other setting. Pls remember that her statements are about her......not you.

I think it has less to do with the need of the patient to 'criticize/humiliate' strangers, and more to do with social standards. If you're interacting with folks of an older generation, especially, you will find their attitudes towards inked-up people as poor. This isn't new- older generations tend to be more conservative on such things.

Another factor would be the impression one gets when you see a care-giver whom has indulged in self-mutilation. Our society has trained us to think in stereotypes- that these people are 'less', or 'dirty', or simply 'not smart'. Why do people do this? They want attention, they want to show to the world something about themselves. They're making a statement. As such one should be prepared for criticism- the world isn't all nice, sadly.

That said. I have a tattoo (unfortunately, so I may be a bit biased against them), fortunately it's covered up nicely. A reminder of stupid things I did in my youth. Regardless- I would never hold it against the person, at least based only on what the OP's post stated. It's not enough to warrant anger or frustration, and so I suspect the OP might be a bit overly sensitive.

If you interact with the public, your appearance says a lot about you, and you invite people to make such criticisms simply by interacting with them. That's my opinion anyway- something I've learned in the past 20 years.

allnurses Guide · Jun 27, 2010

So the another night I taking care of a pt in the ed where I work. She noticed the tats on my wrist and went on a tangent. Why would you do that. Theyare so ugly. They are five small stars with my families birth stones and it says thanks be to God in Latin. She then said how does the hosp feel about them. I said very nicely as long as I take great care of my pts it doesn't matter. Some ppl just really are terrible. Bad enough I was being treated like her slave, all the while I smiled. Her son was like we don't mean any disrespect, I said that was rude, but evryone is entitled to their own opinion

Rude!! :mad: But what is it about nurses that compels total strangers to say things like that? Does it make me a bad person to wish the next time she comes in a snarly total slob with no tattoos takes care of her??

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Jun 27, 2010

Yep, in nursing you are expected to be a mother Teresa unless the pt is atheist of course. Otherwise, expect to be criticized about your weight, hair color (or lack of), perfume/cologne, the load of money (they assume) you make, having the audacity to sit (charting) at the nurses station drinking coffee, smiling (or not), etc.....
It's a no winner. Just keep smiling, do your wonderful job and let is slide down your back.

In all my years of Nursing, not a single pt or anyone else on the job has ever said word 1 about my wt, hair color, etc. - to my face, anyway.

about perfume and other smells - I think we should strive to be as free of fragrances at work as possible. We should remember that a lot of our coworkers and a lot of our patients are truly sickened by the smell of soaps, deodorants, dryer sheets, perfumes, after shaves, and a lot more fragrances. It is due, i believe, to the fact that all of these must be detoxed/metabolized/processed by the liver - and a lot of livers are not the healthiest. Pregnant women are easily sickened by various odors - those listed above as well as onions, strong cheese, coffee, and so on. It is a great courtesy if we strive to be as free of smells as possible around coworkers who must share the air with us and around patients who are already sick and in whose personal space we often find ourselves.

My boss arrived at work the other day when I did and I could smell her perfume 2 dozen parking spaces away. I doubt she realized how powerfully she had applied her fragrance that morning, but it was really amazing and not good at all that I caught it so far away from her.

As for the person who is telling someone the J is for something it is not, I think that's disrespectful of those who are followers of Jesus. Just tell them the truth or tell them you don't discuss this topic at work, you're sorry if your tattoo is offensive, but you find it best to not discuss the matter.

rn/writer, RN · Jun 27, 2010

No one can make you feel like a low life without your permission. If you have a reasonably good opinion of yourself, you don't need someone else's approval and you can withstand their disapproval, because they aren't entitled to a vote on your worth as a person.

It's a good thing to learn to separate who people are from what they do. With this most excellent and useful skill, you can learn how to handle patients like the one you mentioned without taking their criticisms personally.

And you can avoid making judgments about them in return. Good things can happen when we get past the surface "stuff" and see the person inside.