Patient made me feel like low life

Published

So the another night I taking care of a pt in the ed where I work. She noticed the tats on my wrist and went on a tangent. Why would you do that. Theyare so ugly. They are five small stars with my families birth stones and it says thanks be to God in Latin. She then said how does the hosp feel about them. I said very nicely as long as I take great care of my pts it doesn't matter. Some ppl just really are terrible. Bad enough I was being treated like her slave, all the while I smiled. Her son was like we don't mean any disrespect, I said that was rude, but evryone is entitled to their own opinion

This is why nursing schools have policies about covering tattoos while on the floor, and some facilities have similar policies as well.

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So the another night I taking care of a pt in the ed where I work. She noticed the tats on my wrist and went on a tangent. Why would you do that. Theyare so ugly. They are five small stars with my families birth stones and it says thanks be to God in Latin. She then said how does the hosp feel about them. I said very nicely as long as I take great care of my pts it doesn't matter. Some ppl just really are terrible. Bad enough I was being treated like her slave, all the while I smiled. Her son was like we don't mean any disrespect, I said that was rude, but evryone is entitled to their own opinion

Tell her you got them the same time you bought your Harley so you would fit in with your biker gang.

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Specializes in Health Information Management.

If you'd had your tattoo covered or had been tattoo-free, it sounds as though she would have found something else to criticize about you! Some people are just like that, and unfortunately, people who work in service-oriented jobs have to deal with them. The only suggestion I can make is to do your best not to let it affect you. I'm rather wobbly in the self-esteem department and I've always had trouble doing that sort of thing, so a while ago I came up with the idea of imagining that I was wrapped in a semi-permeable comment membrane. It would let in remarks that were well-intended from those I trusted and/or respected, but wouldn't allow in remarks from random people, casual acquaintances, and the vast majority of co-workers. It doesn't always work, but it's helped me to keep many mean, rude, or stupid remarks from getting to me!

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Even when we, as individuals, enjoy these types of rather harmless self-expression, we need to be prepared for those who are not afraid to comment on them.
If the patient has nothing nice to say, then he/she should really say nothing at all. The nurse is not a verbal punching bag or a dumping ground.
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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.
Rude!!:mad: But what is it about nurses that compels total strangers to say things like that? Does it make me a bad person to wish the next time she comes in a snarly total slob with no tattoos takes care of her??

I think it is because nurses enter into more intimate aspects of a patient's life than the patient may be comfortable with. So, while the nurse is having a "routine patient interaction," the patient is stressed at the thought of letting this stranger into private areas of their lives. Even if the procedures may not seem particularly intimate to the nurse ... a lot of people are uncomfortable with being touched by a stranger, asked personal questions, trusting a stranger to take care of your health needs, etc. They may not even be fully aware of their discomfort.

So ... they examine this stranger -- this nurse -- that they have let into their private sphere. The look for clues as to our level of knowledge, level of integrety, our values, trustworthiness, etc. Since we don't give them many clues, they use whatever they see and hear -- and that includes our appearance, our hair and make-up, our voices, facial expressions, etc. Some of their first impressions of us based on their limited information may well be based on stereo-types and/or unfair prejudices -- but it's all they really have to go on.

No, it is not fair to us ... but superficial characterists are all they have to go on. And under stress, people sometime do and say stupid things.

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I want to first say that I also have tattoos, but wanted to share a bit of advice extended by my mother long ago when I was in high school. Back then I had shaved my head, wore Manic Panic hot pink and green dye in my hair. People always judged me by the way I looked. I thought it to be unfair bcause I was still a good person, made good grades, etc...I remember telling my mother "It is so unfair that people judge me solely based on the way I look!" and she said, "If you see someone dressed in a policeman uniform, what do you think they are? When you see someone dressed in scrubs with a stethoscope around their neck, what do they think you are? So what do you think people think you are when they see you?" We choose our labels and must be prepared for people to read them, fair or not.:jester:

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Specializes in Hospital, med-surg, hospice.

This is a good learning opportunity of what NOT to do, how many of us especially in nursing judge people by diagnosis, wt, choice of lifestyle etc..we never know what could happen to us or a loved one.

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Specializes in pulm/cardiology pcu, surgical onc.

I have a full 3/4 sleeve tattoo and keep it covered at work to avoid bs like that. There are always those that will judge others and I like to be seen in a professional manner. Now on my own time that's another story ;)

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Specializes in ICU, ER, EP,.

No one can make you feel ANYTHING without your permission.

No one has the power to make you feel..... you are more than a crass comment. What more can I say.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I think it is because nurses enter into more intimate aspects of a patient's life than the patient may be comfortable with. so, while the nurse is having a "routine patient interaction," the patient is stressed at the thought of letting this stranger into private areas of their lives. Even if the procedures may not seem particularly intimate to the nurse ... a lot of people are uncomfortable with being touched by a stranger, asked personal questions, trusting a stranger to take care of your health needs, etc. They may not even be fully aware of their discomfort.

So ... they examine this stranger -- this nurse -- that they have let into their private sphere. The look for clues as to your level of knowledge, level of integrety, our values, trustworthiness, etc. Since we don't give them many, they use whatever they see and hear and that includes our appearance, our hair and make-up, our voices, facial expressions, etc. Some of their first impressions of us based on their limited information may well be based on stereo-types and/or unfair prejudices -- but it's all they really have to go on.

No, it is not fair to us ... but superficial characterists are all they have to go on. And under stress, people sometime do and say stupid things.

A thoughtful reply (as yours always are), thank you. In pondering the issue myself, I'd thought about the sort of artificial dropping of the personal boundary created by the nature of what we do, but you've made me more aware of the heightened sense of awareness of nonverbal cues about us that patients calculate as they entrust us with their care and allow us get closer physically far more than the average encounter they will have with people they don't know.

Personally, I look to see if the healthcare provider is clean and neat appearing- beyond that I don't fuss, but I can see how things like jewelry and tattoos represent something else entirely to many people. Having kids in their 20s makes me aware of things becoming mainstream that once represented not-so-savory things to older people.

QUOTE=TDCHIM;4382533] . . .so a while ago I came up with the idea of imagining that I was wrapped in a semi-permeable comment membrane.

I love it! :up:

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Specializes in Health Information Management.

@nursel56: Yes, it's actually pretty fun to visualize a snotty comment bouncing off the comment membrane while responding to the person who said it. ;) Not only has it helped me stop taking everybody's comments to heart all the time, more than once it's also provided enough comic relief inside my head to keep me from going off on someone!

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Specializes in Float pool for 14 months.

I wasn't overly sensitive to the comment, it ****** me off bc, even after her snide remark I still went in there with a big ol smile on my face. I wish I could have shown her how my whole back was done. Lol. She treated me like a maid like she was at the Hilton. Funny thing is when most pts see that tat they comment how nice it is that I am close enough with my family to want to remember them like that. People can judge me how I look, that's fine. I like my tats, my short stacked hair with pink highlights. Me looking one way doesn't define who I am as a nurse and how I care for my pts. People are never gonna change and some will always be ignorant. I will still treat them as a family member and do all I can to help them despite their oppossiton to how I look!!!!

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