Parents that are nurses

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I'm pretty sure all of us have been yelled at by parents numerous times, but yesterday was really hard for me after an incident with a parent. I called a parent who happened to be a nurse. I received a copy of a letter she sent to school and called to see if the student will be taking any meds at school and if so we need a Med Admin Form. The parent had worked a 16 hour shift and I called her in the middle of her rest. I had no idea and I know we are all sympathetic to nurses having to work overtime. Long story short, the parent felt that I was disturbing her and that she does not need a med admin form because she indicated on her Emergency card every year that she has asthma. I tried to explain the Education Laws in my State, but she felt that because she is an experienced nurse (she gave me her whole work history) and she knows I'm a new nurse (she asked how long I've been a nurse) AND I'm a school nurse (with my "cushy job") that I'm wrong. The parent blew up at my really quickly and said some very rude and disrespectful things. I tried to calm her down and explain, but she wasn't hearing it and kept talking over me and saying that I wouldn't "win". I tried to explain that we can just fax the paperwork, but she wasn't having that either. Eventually she hung up.

I understand that I was talking to an exhausted person and maybe she's not like that when she's well rested. I understand her child has asthma and I don't want to take away the inhaler (another issue is that the student has been carrying her inhaler since in the younger grades and no one has ever told the parent the child needed a medication administration form to have an inhaler at school). I just felt really belittled and inexperienced even though I know I was right.

I spoke with Admin and they were very supported toward me and gave me ideas on how to go about the situation by mailing a form home with a copy of the education code. I took myself out for ice cream yesterday to cheer myself up and then had a fantastic date afterwards so I feel better today. :cat:But I'm still anxious about talking with the parent. I was frustrated, but again I know she's stressed and tried and hopefully we can build a better relationship in the future for the sake of the student and safety.

So has anyone else out there had really hard times with parents in the healthcare field? Especially if they do not understand that healthcare in the hospital is different from the school setting.

Oh my, yes, I get yelled at almost daily! I've toughened up (I'm a first year school nurse), but I still hate it when I'm yelled at. Today, I was yelled at for calling a mom to pick up her child because he was still wheezing after using his inhaler. Sorry, mom, I guess I didn't think about the fact that your sleeping is more important that your child breathing....:sarcastic:

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Always remember it isn't personal and you will NEVER make everyone happy. ((HUGS))

I worked nights and I have been nasty on the phone once or twice...:blink:...After profusely apologizing for being an ass....I set up a system of e-mail and to use my emergency phone (the only one answered when I am sleeping) if the kids needed me or were missing.

They were more than happy to oblige. (probably so they wouldn't have to hear me again....:shy:)

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I'm sorry you had to deal with that! I've definitely been yelled at and had harsh language thrown at me. I'm a new nurse too, and I catch myself doubting my abilities too often, but then I'm reminded that I'm a real nurse! Thank you nurseinsa!

Lack of sleep is not an excuse to be rude, especially when you had no clue about her night shift. And being an experienced nurse is definitely not a reason to cut another nurse down! I actually got my job offer to be a school nurse after a 12 hour night shift and I had just fallen asleep. I accepted the offer and politely asked her to call back because I wasn't going to remember anything discussed until I had slept a couple more hours.

I use to cry after a difficult phone call, but I found difficult phone calls are all too frequent to warrant crying every time. So now I just cry after the REALLY difficult phone calls, vent and then enjoy a nice bowl of ice cream! I'm slowly toughening up. :) I get yelled at for care plans and med forms and it may be even more frustrating when the parent is a nurse and just isn't willing to understand your position. Even though another nurse hasn't enforced the forms before now, you're the school nurse now and you have chosen to protect your license and follow protocol! - I've actually had to tell parents that I'm not sure why they haven't had to do something in the past, but I'm the school nurse this year and it needs to be done.

Good luck!!!

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Specializes in kids.
Personaly if you sent me an email with those cutsie faces in it, I would delete it without even reading it. Most people get annoyed with those things and really want just the info needed.

Well then, the next time you are an absolute ***** to me on the phone, I'll not feel bad if you do not get the required information and your child does without or has to wait for something, because you deleted it without reading it.

My email at work does not have the fun (IMHO) ones like on this site has, it would be a simple smiley face.

The point being that even though the parent was incredibly rude and obnoxious, I would want them to know that I had moved on.....:sarcastic:

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We don't email parents.

So, a letter or phone call is the way we communicate.

I worked 3 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift for 9 years and I did not have a phone in my room at all. So, no one could wake me up with an unwanted phone call.

My husband was the one to contact if there were issues at night for anything. I could receive calls at work and did.

Even my kids knew better than trying to come talk to mom after she went to bed early. Getting up at 0145 to get ready for work, I needed my sleep.

I still don't have a phone in my room unless I'm on call. Then it is my cell phone. Not the house phone.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
We don't email parents.

So, a letter or phone call is the way we communicate.

I worked 3 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift for 9 years and I did not have a phone in my room at all. So, no one could wake me up with an unwanted phone call.

My husband was the one to contact if there were issues at night for anything. I could receive calls at work and did.

Even my kids knew better than trying to come talk to mom after she went to bed early. Getting up at 0145 to get ready for work, I needed my sleep.

I still don't have a phone in my room unless I'm on call. Then it is my cell phone. Not the house phone.

You don't e-mail parents? My kids schools prefer e-mail. EVERYTHING is on the computer...everything. Their report cards...I mean progress reports....are all on the computer. You have to log in to look at them, check for any notices, sign up for their classes ...EVERYTHING is on Naviance or the I=pass portal. Heck I even pay for their lunches on line.
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Nope, not for things we need to talk about.

Yes, their grades and assignments are online. Each teacher does it differently.

But communication with parents is done in person or on the phone.

So far. ;)

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Specializes in Peds, Oncology.
You don't e-mail parents? My kids schools prefer e-mail. EVERYTHING is on the computer...everything. Their report cards...I mean progress reports....are all on the computer. You have to log in to look at them check for any notices, sign up for their classes ...EVERYTHING is on Naviance or the I=pass portal. Heck I even pay for their lunches on line.[/quote']

We don't email either. :(

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Specializes in Community Health/School Nursing.

One of "those" parents. Isn't it lovely? Shake it off. I have plenty of parents like that at my school. I had one parent who was a doctor and pretty did the same thing to me. She refused to fill out and send in a form because she was a doctor and felt she knew better. I told her that was fine but if her child has an asthma attack then I will call 911 or if it's a mild attack I will call her and she can come in and give her child her inhaler. I am not bound by any law or policy that says I have to do otherwise. I don't give a rats butt who you are. We all have a job to do....if you make mine hard then I will make yours harder. I don't have time to deal with people trying to "pull rank"....it's MY clinic and I'm going to follow policy. Period. This lovely doctor did fill out the paper work in the end. It's all about the children and their needs.

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Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.

I had to meet with my Supervisor about all this because mom sent him a really long email. She even included a link about Asthma and how all States need laws about students carrying inhalers, blah, blah, blah. WELL at the end of the article it says to click your State below to see what the laws says about students and inhalers in that State. Guess what the link to our State says? Everything I tried explaining to her. Basically she proved me right with her link. Beautiful. I sent a letter home with the asthma form so hopefully this will go smoothly.

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There is no excuse for her behavior. Nurses need to support each other.

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I do not let this stuff make me feel bad. That nurse should know better! Would she give one of her patients a tylenol because a family told her to do it???? No, she would tell them she needed a Dr. order.

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