I'm pretty sure all of us have been yelled at by parents numerous times, but yesterday was really hard for me after an incident with a parent. I called a parent who happened to be a nurse. I received a copy of a letter she sent to school and called to see if the student will be taking any meds at school and if so we need a Med Admin Form. The parent had worked a 16 hour shift and I called her in the middle of her rest. I had no idea and I know we are all sympathetic to nurses having to work overtime. Long story short, the parent felt that I was disturbing her and that she does not need a med admin form because she indicated on her Emergency card every year that she has asthma. I tried to explain the Education Laws in my State, but she felt that because she is an experienced nurse (she gave me her whole work history) and she knows I'm a new nurse (she asked how long I've been a nurse) AND I'm a school nurse (with my "cushy job") that I'm wrong. The parent blew up at my really quickly and said some very rude and disrespectful things. I tried to calm her down and explain, but she wasn't hearing it and kept talking over me and saying that I wouldn't "win". I tried to explain that we can just fax the paperwork, but she wasn't having that either. Eventually she hung up.
I understand that I was talking to an exhausted person and maybe she's not like that when she's well rested. I understand her child has asthma and I don't want to take away the inhaler (another issue is that the student has been carrying her inhaler since in the younger grades and no one has ever told the parent the child needed a medication administration form to have an inhaler at school). I just felt really belittled and inexperienced even though I know I was right.
I spoke with Admin and they were very supported toward me and gave me ideas on how to go about the situation by mailing a form home with a copy of the education code. I took myself out for ice cream yesterday to cheer myself up and then had a fantastic date afterwards so I feel better today. :cat:But I'm still anxious about talking with the parent. I was frustrated, but again I know she's stressed and tried and hopefully we can build a better relationship in the future for the sake of the student and safety.
So has anyone else out there had really hard times with parents in the healthcare field? Especially if they do not understand that healthcare in the hospital is different from the school setting.
This is my third year as a school nurse. My first year, I had a lot of complaints for requiring paperwork that has been policy for years and other campuses in our district require. I started this job with 14 years pediatric nursing experience (hospital), but still felt like a fish out of water and parents picked up on it and ran with it. Last year I had a parent condescendingly ask me where I got my licence, and informed me that school should be closed if all graduates were like me. I simply began walking to the exit closest to the principal's office as she continued to rant and rave and she exited. Sad thing is, her younger child is now on my campus and went to a secretary for health needs because his mother will not allow him to see me.
In all situations, parents ALWAYS believe they know best for their child. If you agree with them it usually defuses the anger and defensiveness. If you can't agree with them, state the policy, law, etc and stand your ground. I would not volunteer my years experience. And if this parent or another one knows you are a new nurse and makes a similar statement about lack of experience, I would either change the subject or kindly tell them you are not an expert in their chosen field, and you do not believe they are knowledgeable about yours. Not sure I WOULD say that, but would feel good in the moment.
Glad your administration was supportive. Continue following the policies and laws because that is what covers your heiny!
Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.
I want to thank all you guys for your awesome advice and support. I will definitely go about all of this different next time; I'm sure there will always be a next time.
I want to thank all you guys for your awesome advice and support. I will definitely go about all of this different next time; I'm sure there will always be a next time.
Unfortunately this is true but you do get better at dealing with it.
We don't email either. We have so many low-income that don't have access. I would love to be able to use that! Anyway, I've had a few nurse parents. Some have treated me really bad. I think they are just jealous I have this job and they don't. Whenever they complain I just say I, sorry but it's our county policy and we can't do anything without a dr's order just like in the hospital.
Bumping this up as today I had a parent who is a nurse tell me that I should be dosing for weight, not age for ibuprofen, and that dosing for her 128 lb child was 600 mg.
I had previously told her my standing orders are by weight and that his weight was adult dosing of 400 mg and that I could not dose higher without a prescription from the doctor. She did get a doctor's prescription and letter, but this still made me .
Specializes in School Nursing, Public Health Nurse.
Bumping this up as today I had a parent who is a nurse tell me that I should be dosing for weight, not age for ibuprofen, and that dosing for her 128 lb child was 600 mg.
I had previously told her my standing orders are by weight and that his weight was adult dosing of 400 mg and that I could not dose higher without a prescription from the doctor. She did get a doctor's prescription and letter, but this still made me .
Oh I love it when parents feel like they can supersede doctor's orders. I know it's your kid, but give me orders or give me death.
Oh I love it when parents feel like they can supersede doctor's orders. I know it's your kid, but give me orders or give me death.
Indeed. My favorite is when a student gets sent it with an OTC medication and parent's note. Or worse yet, a baggie with two unidentified pills in it, handed to me with the instructions "my mom told me to give these to you so I can take them after lunch."
This particular parent was questioning my nursing judgement asking if my standing orders were from a pediatrician. I was like "yep, they are." I was just surprised to be questioned like that by a fellow nurse.
I have had similar experiences with parents as many of us on this forum. However, wouldn't you think that a nurse would understand that having a doctor's order and parent signed consent are all laws of the job that a nurse has to follow? It isn't like we make them up. That nurse should have been more understanding. I just had a parent come in and start screaming and yelling at me in front of a room full of students. It is easier said than done to not let these situations have stressful effects. I don't think I will ever get used to this part of the job - just my make up. I always feel bad. When faced with this type of situation whether it is a parent blaming me for something, or just plain yelling at me, I always defend my actions and back them up with facts, the law, what I assessed at that time, etc. I also try to empathetic as well, to calm them down and to let them know that I am for their child, not against them. These situations always get to me though.
There have been times when I haven't been able to calm the parent down or myself down. One time a parent was yelling at me because their child had head lice and had to come and pick them up (I could not calm down at all as this child has had a chronic case of head lice for 5 years and I have purchased treatments for this parent at least 5 times, and spent hours pulling nits out of this child's hair). I found myself, putting the parent on hold and went to my principal and explained the conversation. She picked up the phone and firmly and professionally explained the school policy. Of course this parent knew the school policy, but the backing of another authoritative person helped. That was the one time that I had the principal help me. You could try once more with this nurse parent and if she doesn't comply, get the principal involved. I know, no school nurse wants to resort to this - it is a difficult situation.
Sounds to me like this mother was bullying you to get her way. Stick to your guns and get the forms you legally need to have on file. Unfortunately, I have also been verbally abused and I've been given a nasty letter by a parent before. I'm trying to not let negativity get my down, and I'm getting better at it, but I've certainly had more of it since switching from oncology to school nursing.
ana010
99 Posts
This is my third year as a school nurse. My first year, I had a lot of complaints for requiring paperwork that has been policy for years and other campuses in our district require. I started this job with 14 years pediatric nursing experience (hospital), but still felt like a fish out of water and parents picked up on it and ran with it. Last year I had a parent condescendingly ask me where I got my licence, and informed me that school should be closed if all graduates were like me. I simply began walking to the exit closest to the principal's office as she continued to rant and rave and she exited. Sad thing is, her younger child is now on my campus and went to a secretary for health needs because his mother will not allow him to see me.
In all situations, parents ALWAYS believe they know best for their child. If you agree with them it usually defuses the anger and defensiveness. If you can't agree with them, state the policy, law, etc and stand your ground. I would not volunteer my years experience. And if this parent or another one knows you are a new nurse and makes a similar statement about lack of experience, I would either change the subject or kindly tell them you are not an expert in their chosen field, and you do not believe they are knowledgeable about yours. Not sure I WOULD say that, but would feel good in the moment.
Glad your administration was supportive. Continue following the policies and laws because that is what covers your heiny!