Panic attacks following never event.

[Iamgroot29]

I really need help. I am a nurse working in an intensive care unit with 9years nursing experience and approximately four months ago I was involved in a never event at work.

Since this I have done all the required reading, learning etc and had a couple of debriefs with management and everything seemed to be going fine. Yes I had lost my confidence but I was slowly starting to claw it back inch by inch by working hard and throwing myself into my studying.

Now however, things are not going so well again. I was on a study day where the event was discussed between colleagues (no names were mentioned) and my colleagues had some not very supportive things to say. This has made me paranoid that people know it was me and I am panicky at work and dont trust myself to do anything anymore as dont trust my judgement. I am also finding it hard to trust others as this never event included other people giving bad advice (unintentionally).

I am struggling with my work load, with my colleagues and with emergency situations that previously I would of been able to cope with. I am finding it difficult to sleep and keep waking up, having had nightmares about this situation.

I find it very difficult to work with the consultant that investigated the event and I recently had to spend the day on an out of hospital transfer with the doctor who was involved with the event and I desperately wanted to talk to him about it but couldnt bring it up (obviously this was once the patient had been transferred and we were alone in the back of the ambulance).

Any help at this point would be invaluable. I have a meeting with my manager in the next week and I dont want to blurt this all out to her as hate being seen as weak and not coping.

Sorry it has been such a long post. Please help me.

[amoLucia]

Best wishes to OP for recovery.

The Wikipedia article was an excellent read. TY for the ref.

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

Everyone's suggestions and comments have been on point.

I strongly recommend going to a therapist so that you can get your mental peace of mind back.

[greenerpastures]

I'd see the therapist so you can discuss and forgive yourself.

When you are able, I'd also talk to my coworkers about it. Ask about doing a debrief with everyone involved if it needs to be done. Everyone is "hush hush" about these things at work. The only way people learn and grow is to talk about it, even people who aren't involved but think they know what happened. It's a mistake, it happens, YES, there can be dire consequences, but if people talk about it, it may help someone else down the road.

We are human, we are programmed as nurses to NEVER make a mistake because of what could happen, but like everything else in the LEAN era of "do more with less", STUFF HAPPENS! Don't be ashamed.

Love yourself, forgive yourself, educate others, and EMBRACE that you are a fabulous, skilled nurse who had a REALLY bad "series of events that I'm sure you weren't the only one involved" day.

Hugs and love to you.

[TriciaJ, RN]

I would recommend seeking professional help for mental health even if it is your pcp. Did they ever do a debriefing with you? It is sometimes beneficial if they do a professional debriefing with people if it was a stressful event.

I was going to ask if the people involved had a chance to debrief. I'm wondering if everyone really got all the support they needed. As far as other people talking about it - Monday morning quarterbacking is easy but not particularly helpful.

I really hope you and everyone involved can find ways to move past this. Even if it has been designated a never event, sometimes **** just happens.

Wishing you peace and healing.

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

...

Love yourself, forgive yourself, educate others...

My bold. That's an extremely important point to make - educate others. I'm sure there is embarrassment that the mistake was made, and it sounds like coworkers are jumping to conclusions and judging already, but truly this could be an amazing education opportunity that could prevent a coworker from doing something similar in the future - how amazing would that be.

Years ago in my new grad critical care residency, there was a group of about a dozen of us new grads who all worked on different critical care unit throughout the hospital and we had to get together biweekly or monthly (I don't remember which) for our first six months at the hospital as part of our new grad residency program. A lot of this was education, skills, etc but part of it was a debriefing session of sorts where we all shared experiences that have come up either directly or indirectly during our orientation. I will never forget one of the nurses, who I knew to be very detail-oriented and caring, had a really rough night where one of her two patients essentially went into DIC so she (and most of the staff) was in the room during this situation for a couple hours at a time while trying to stabilize the patient. During that time when she was caught up in the room, her other patient had an extremely severe IV infiltrate that ultimately resulted in needing an emergency fasciotomy and skin grafting. She shared this experience with a room full of us as she was crying - I know it wasn't an easy thing to do, she was humiliated, embarrassed, and full of regret. But I can say for myself personally, that sharing and education about her experience has made me so diligent about doing my hourly IV checks even over a decade later.

[Insperation]

I'd say don't forget to ask for help if you think you need it. Sometimes it's hard just to ask. Everyone makes mistakes. Keep on keepin on. Good luck!

[Boomer MS, RN]

My bold. That's an extremely important point to make - educate others. I'm sure there is embarrassment that the mistake was made, and it sounds like coworkers are jumping to conclusions and judging already, but truly this could be an amazing education opportunity that could prevent a coworker from doing something similar in the future - how amazing would that be.

Years ago in my new grad critical care residency, there was a group of about a dozen of us new grads who all worked on different critical care unit throughout the hospital and we had to get together biweekly or monthly (I don't remember which) for our first six months at the hospital as part of our new grad residency program. A lot of this was education, skills, etc but part of it was a debriefing session of sorts where we all shared experiences that have come up either directly or indirectly during our orientation. I will never forget one of the nurses, who I knew to be very detail-oriented and caring, had a really rough night where one of her two patients essentially went into DIC so she (and most of the staff) was in the room during this situation for a couple hours at a time while trying to stabilize the patient. During that time when she was caught up in the room, her other patient had an extremely severe IV infiltrate that ultimately resulted in needing an emergency fasciotomy and skin grafting. She shared this experience with a room full of us as she was crying - I know it wasn't an easy thing to do, she was humiliated, embarrassed, and full of regret. But I can say for myself personally, that sharing and education about her experience has made me so diligent about doing my hourly IV checks even over a decade later.

What a lovely and supportive response, as others have been too.

[Wile E Coyote, ASN, RN]

The advice given to share with coworkers must be tempered by the fact that a confidentiality agreement signed by all participants in the RCA usually prevents such side discussions until a certain stage in the process.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Please seek assistance from your EAP Program (Employee Assistance Program)

An example of such a program is Carebridge EAP used by many facilities across the US see NYU's listing of available services. Employee Assistance Program - Carebridge

Our EAP offers 24hr coverage: 2 phone assistance sessions, 3 Private counseling sessions along with many wellness programs, relocation assistance, myriad of services. Only data collected that HR gets monthly/quarterly contact is type of service EAP provided, no names ever.

Please call your EAP program NOW to gain some peace of mind....especially prior to speaking with your manager.

[VegGal, BSN, RN]

I really need help. I am a nurse working in an intensive care unit with 9years nursing experience and approximately four months ago I was involved in a never event at work.

Since this I have done all the required reading, learning etc and had a couple of debriefs with management and everything seemed to be going fine. Yes I had lost my confidence but I was slowly starting to claw it back inch by inch by working hard and throwing myself into my studying.

Now however, things are not going so well again..........

Have you thought about a different work setting? If you're in a hospital, how about a different unit, or even a different hospital, or maybe a doctor's office, LTC, etc? Could that help?

[Graduatenurse14]

A never event is when theres been a serious incident that was deemed as something that should never of happened. I only moved to intensive care a couple of years ago and have started my degree in acute and critical care and I love the work I do when its going well.

I have a feeling that my manager is going to refer me to occupational health. Leaving work is not an option. I'm too stubborn to give in and leave.

I am sorry that this happened to you. I agree that EAP or some time of counseling would be very helpful.

Sometimes leaving a job or situation is the bravest, strongest, healthiest and wisest thing to do but staying out of stubbornness the weaker, unhealthy option.

[NotYourMamasRN]

HI OP,

I just want to say I am sorry for what you are going through. I suffer from PTSD so I know how you are feeling right now, in many ways. I have no advice other than to seek the appropriate help and take time to take care of yourself. You can overcome this!