Open mouth, insert foot...

[Christy1019]

We have all had a time in our lives where the most unfortunate things have come out of our mouths, and a coworker of mine had one recently, that while it caused an immediate cringe, could be looked back upon later with a chuckle, because we've ALL done it.

We had a successful post code, drowning victim that was lethargic but oriented. While doing an Xray, my coworker stated "OK, hold your breath like you're going under water!"

Thankfully the pt didn't seem to grasp the ridiculousness of that statement, but I assure you we all had that immediate pucker - factor moment! What ridiculously hilarious things have you all said that you wished you could take back, but are still somehow humorous?

[cocobrotha]

I want to thank you for not retiring so early. Allowing us to have you as a part of the current field of nursing promotes patient safety. New nurses are graduating younger and younger each day. Although they may be intelligent, confident, and licensed they need qualified help daily. They need individuals with years of service to guide and mentor their practice. Everyone has something remarkable to share, but it needs to be shared with oversight. Again it's a honor to embarce your commitment and dedication.

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

I had a patient with newly diagnosed Lymphoma who I was preparing to administer the first dose of chemo too. I was donning my chemo precautions garb. The patient said to me, "You young people these days are way to concerned with protective gear. When I was in the military in the 60's we handled radioactive material with our bare hands daily and I'm fine!"

I said, "Fine except the cancer?"

He was totally taken aback. This was his first day being diagnosed and I think I was the first person to lay it out like that. He turned red, looked down, and said, "My God, you're right, gown away."

I felt terrible for being that blunt.

[caliotter3]

Whatever was said was not humorous, but it sure made me uncomfortable. I was in junior high. A classmate's mother had been found dead in bed one morning. Not long after, for some reason that escapes me, I was with her at our lockers, and I mentioned something about her mother. In a million years I would never have anything to say about a peer's mother, so why did this have to come out of my mouth? I couldn't find the words to apologize for the foot in mouth moment. And I have remembered this incident to this day, decades later. I remember the girl's name, but I can't remember exactly what I said about her mom. That puzzles me.

[Mindylane]

This is kind of on topic, but pre-nursing days. It always seriously embarrases me to think about this *cringe*

I worked at a group home and was leaving for another position (the residents said I was "retiring" -- I was 24). All the staff and group home residents went around and said something nice about me. All of a sudden it was dead silence and I realized I was supposed to say something... I panicked and just yelled, "let's eat cake!!!!!" and that was it.

I felt really bad about it. I wanted to tell the residents (and staff!) how much I appreciated working with them

[WinterLilac]

I just remembered another time I cringed. I've never been good in palliative care or around people who are grieving. Dunno why, I just get too uptight and say stupid things. One time a man walked through our office carrying an enormous bunch of flowers. I said loudly "Oh darling! You shouldn't have!". Turns out they were the flowers from the funeral of his Mother (who was a resident, I didn't recognise the son) and he was dropping them off for the residents who couldn't make the funeral. Needless to say, he kept walking...

[blondy2061h, MSN, RN]

I just remembered another time I cringed. I've never been good in palliative care or around people who are grieving. Dunno why, I just get too uptight and say stupid things. One time a man walked through our office carrying an enormous bunch of flowers. I said loudly "Oh darling! You shouldn't have!". Turns out they were the flowers from the funeral of his Mother (who was a resident, I didn't recognise the son) and he was dropping them off for the residents who couldn't make the funeral. Needless to say, he kept walking...

Ouch!

[Karou]

I babble and have word vomit a lot, so I say a lot of stupid things that embarrass me in front of patients and coworkers. I do this so often that I can't even remember a specific example. I just think, "oh well, that was stupid", and move on.

However, I MORTIFIED myself in high school once. For background, I was a shy and nerdy girl who never cussed, and was very modest (prudish). I once accidentally told a (popular) friend of a friend that I was going to "masturbate" him. I can't even remember what I meant to say. I about died with embarrassment and my face got so hot. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole right then as my friends burst into laughter. Of course everyone heard and this was remembered and mention even after we had graduated.

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

When I have to do an overhead page I seem to get flustered and can't tell you how many times I've forgotten what I meant to say and said "Oh s***!" Instead lol, cracks up my coworkers, not management so much though lol

[dizzygatorrn]

A young child had died and several of us were doing postmortem care. The child had been in isolation and we had been double-bagging anything leaving the room all week. We had a brand new LPN and this was her first experience with postmortem care. I was explaining what to do and the rationale for each step. Suddenly, the LPN got wide-eyed and asked, "Do we have to double-bag him?" We all cracked up. Gallows humor.

[Farawyn]

A young child had died and several of us were doing postmortem care. The child had been in isolation and we had been double-bagging anything leaving the room all week. We had a brand new LPN and this was her first experience with postmortem care. I was explaining what to do and the rationale for each step. Suddenly, the LPN got wide-eyed and asked, "Do we have to double-bag him?" We all cracked up. Gallows humor.

Yes, and put the eggs and bread on top, please!

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

We had a station on our TV that played favorite songs one day after a post code it was playing "End of the road" by BOYZ II Men. That station had a wicked sense of black humor.

[Jensmom7, BSN, RN]

I was in the Activity room with one of my patients today. They were doing beach ball toss and two of the ladies were pretty good at it.

What I MEANT to say was "Got a couple of ball tossing champs here."

What came rolling out of my mouth was, "Got a couple of ball chewing tramps here..."

*sigh* thank goodness I was on the Memory Care unit. I don't think they'll remember it.