Open mouth, insert foot...

Nurses General Nursing

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We have all had a time in our lives where the most unfortunate things have come out of our mouths, and a coworker of mine had one recently, that while it caused an immediate cringe, could be looked back upon later with a chuckle, because we've ALL done it.

We had a successful post code, drowning victim that was lethargic but oriented. While doing an Xray, my coworker stated "OK, hold your breath like you're going under water!"

Thankfully the pt didn't seem to grasp the ridiculousness of that statement, but I assure you we all had that immediate pucker - factor moment! What ridiculously hilarious things have you all said that you wished you could take back, but are still somehow humorous?

After a lady partsl delivery in which she tore a little bit, the physician was getting ready to repair her perineum. He was about to give her a shot of lidocaine, and as he's standing between her legs, I said "Okay, you're going to feel a little prick in your lady parts." I remember the look he gave me as I realized what just came out of my mouth.

Cannot.stop.laughing.

Post code (pt died)...One resident (holding out his hand with some sort of candy) said to another resident, "want a life saver"

Really? He couldn't of had M&M's that day???

I can't tell if you're making a pun on purpose or not, but I'm not sure M&Ms would've been any less ironic...

(morbidity and mortality conferences)

i almost dont even wanna post this but ill jump on the shame train

During internship my preceptor remarks about me being quiet. She told me im very friendly and establish good rapport with my patients but other than that i dont seem to talk very much. We were in a patients room setting up the board for morning.

I believe my reply was something to the effect of "i try to speak when im spoken to." she asked, "whys that?"

And i responded "Because sometimes, with some of the things i say you'd swear i'm mildly mentally retarded"

she lets out a light chuckle, and wouldn't you know, about 5 seconds later, in comes a visitor for our patient with...yep you guessed it, a mentally challenged grandchild. I look at the family, and then turn to my preceptor with wide eyes. Slowly creeps the biggest grin on her face from ear to ear. I sighed heavily, rubbed my forehead and said "case in point" and walked out of the room. She burst in uncontrollable laughter and i couldn't live it down for the rest of the day.

Luckily our patient was napping at the time and i dont think heard us. But my heart sank straight to my toes at that moment. Ive really gotta work on socially accepted colloquialism

As a new nurse in the ICU, we received a transfer from one of the floors...an unfortunate gentleman who was experiencing refractory bleeding due to ruptured esophageal varices. His mouth and nose were hemorrhaging with a faucet-like intensity and the GI doctor came in to scope him and do something, anything, to give this man a chance of surviving.

So there's me, still fresh out of school, trying to take in all the frenzied activity and figure out what I could do to help. My mind at that time was still developing it's critical thinking skills and I was using my mental admissions process checklist to run through the things that needed done when we got a new patient. So I blurt out, loud and all authoritarian-like, "Did we get a temperature yet?" as that was the one thing that popped in my mind that we needed on a new pt and didn't have yet.

An experienced nurse, who could have looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head and called out my idiotic comment in front of the entire room, instead says, "I don't think that's a priority right now."

Needless to say, I felt about an inch tall and quietly slinked back towards the door to go work on some nursing prioritization exercises, lol!

Boy, have I come a long way!

um...so today I get pt from an RRT (I work step down) - said pt was an elderly woman that was in CHF and not voiding. After getting a foley in, the doc gave orders for an insane amount of Lasix. within a half hour or so she'd put out 300 ml of urine. So I leaned over, looked at the bag and proudly said to the family "well it looks like she's putting out nicely". Fortunately her nieces found it horrendously funny (the whole stress response thing) - I took my red face out to the nurses station to chart silently.

Specializes in Oncology.

I had a patient with no eyes who was on my unit for awhile. I was constantly catching myself saying stupid stuff, "The pink pill is your Prevacid, for stomach acid, and the white one is your lopressor, for blood pressure." Doh! It's amazing when you realize how often you say things like "Look over there" or "Do you see...?" I also remember asking her if she wanted me to turn off her light on my way out!

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I had a patient with no eyes who was on my unit for awhile. I was constantly catching myself saying stupid stuff, "The pink pill is your Prevacid, for stomach acid, and the white one is your lopressor, for blood pressure." Doh! It's amazing when you realize how often you say things like "Look over there" or "Do you see...?" I also remember asking her if she wanted me to turn off her light on my way out!

This made me lol!

Specializes in Oncology.

Not nursing related, but I was at a hibachi restaurant and the chef was squirting sake in people's mouths. I said "No thank you." He asked me why not. I said, "I just don't like guys squirting things in my mouth." I'm pretty sure the whole restaurant heard me and just about died laughing. I just about wanted to hide from embarrassment.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Not nursing related, but I was at a hibachi restaurant and the chef was squirting sake in people's mouths. I said "No thank you." He asked me why not. I said, "I just don't like guys squirting things in my mouth." I'm pretty sure the whole restaurant heard me and just about died laughing. I just about wanted to hide from embarrassment.

LMAO! That's a good one!

Specializes in Psychiatric.

I was a student watching a surgical procedure be performed. The doctor was finishing up the procedure and loudly announced "Now it's time for the slice!". My mind conjured up images of scalpels and incisions and I asked my preceptor "Where is he going to make the slice??". My preceptor nearly wet herself laughing and said back "He means morning tea! That apple slice you brought in!". Nevertheless, that little ditty spread like wildfire through the unit and everyone had a chuckle!

Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.

I once told a resident with bilateral BKA, that I couldn't clip his toenails because he had diabetes. (I was clipping his finger nails)> Fortunately, he had a great sense of humor. I must have turned about a dozen shades of red because he caught a look at my face and started laughing.

Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg.
I once told a resident with bilateral BKA, that I couldn't clip his toenails because he had diabetes.

Well... Technically, you were right. If you think about it.

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