Ok, just having fun here and not being insensitive and all that. Ain't it a shame I feel the need to put out a silly disclaimer?Anyway, lunchroom today on a med surge floor, folks just started swapping stories. It struck me that only nurses could possibly be talking about this stuff without retching. My favorite today was, "Did you hear about 'guitar man'? I bit, "Nope I haven't." It seems guitar man was a med-surge patient who was found with blood coming from his penis. Upon investigation he was found to have pieces of wire (guitar strings) inserted in his penis (though the urethra). Mind you, this is not a psych floor (or at least we thought). When the Doc was notified, he marched down to the room with a suture kit. The patient of course denied any knowledge of said wire while the Doc fished some of it out with the tiny tweezers. Follow-up xray showed a surgical intervention was needed to retrieve errant Prince Alberts. Go figure. You have any lunch room gross outs to share?
NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN 1 Article; 1,066 Posts Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN. Has 10 years experience. Feb 28, 2013 Urinary sepsis smells like bacon and looks like cottage cheese leaking down the foley.
SwansonRN 465 Posts Has 2 years experience. Feb 28, 2013 Urinary sepsis smells like bacon and looks like cottage cheese leaking down the foley.Oddly enough I had bacon and cottage cheese for breakfast. Or when someone comments that their pasta sauce looks like the GI bleed that just got admitted. We are weird.
jchilds 58 Posts Feb 28, 2013 Ok, just having fun here and not being insensitive and all that. Ain't it a shame I feel the need to put out a silly disclaimer?Anyway, lunchroom today on a med surge floor, folks just started swapping stories. It struck me that only nurses could possibly be talking about this stuff without retching. My favorite today was, "Did you hear about 'guitar man'? I bit, "Nope I haven't." It seems guitar man was a med-surge patient who was found with blood coming from his penis. Upon investigation he was found to have pieces of wire (guitar strings) inserted in his penis (though the urethra). Mind you, this is not a psych floor (or at least we thought). When the Doc was notified, he marched down to the room with a suture kit. The patient of course denied any knowledge of said wire while the Doc fished some of it out with the tiny tweezers. Follow-up xray showed a surgical intervention was needed to retrieve errant Prince Alberts. Go figure. You have any lunch room gross outs to share?I guess he had the music in him!
meanmaryjean, DNP, RN 7,899 Posts Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia. Has 46 years experience. Feb 28, 2013 I work PICU, my daughter is a wound/ ostomy RN and my sister works in LTAC. When the three of us are together, no one in the family will eat at the same table with us!
Racer15, BSN, RN 707 Posts Specializes in ED. Has 5 years experience. Feb 28, 2013 One of our male LPNs has this running joke that anytime a woman comes in with gross vaginal issues, he always seems to get them, like some weird, gross vagina magnet. Anyways, we were sitting around eating one day when he was describing a patient with some vaginal issues, and he blurts out "it looked like a shar-pei puppy swimming in a vat of mayonnaise!" I still crack up when I think about the way he said it, haha. And we just kept on eating!
Indy, LPN, LVN 1,444 Posts Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC. Has 5 years experience. Feb 28, 2013 I will say, I don't particularly enjoy my dinner when it's brunswick stew interrupted by poop cleanup on a liver patient, who ate meat and tomatoes and apparently digested none of it due to the lactulose. I also discovered that if I tell said patient "wow you didn't chew your tomatoes" they will present me with some puke that is exactly the same as the poop. It is also considered in bad taste to follow that with singing the doublemint commercial song.
jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B 51 Articles; 4,800 Posts Feb 28, 2013 I guess he had the music in him!Good lordy where's the guitar pick?
jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B 51 Articles; 4,800 Posts Feb 28, 2013 Good natured ribbing about if the drainage from the I&D was REALLY a quarter cup, that it was not a gush per se but a large trickle ...and how wonderfully satisfying a good squeeze can be......It is like fish tales for the slightly off center. Word of caution, do not discuss in mixed company, or one will wonder what it is that you are doing on your nights off....
K+MgSO4, BSN 1,753 Posts Specializes in Surgical, quality,management. Has 12 years experience. Feb 28, 2013 My peads nurse friend shares a house with a real estate agent there is a group of 4 nurses and this guy. He is best friends with her. Between me her and another nurse this guy says that he has forgotten "the line" of appropriate conversation for the dinner table! When he has a GF they often get grossed out by our stories!
rnsrgr8t 395 Posts Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc. Feb 28, 2013 There was one Thanksgiving party that I was at. There must have been 50 people there. It was an unusually warm night so there was about 20 of us hanging out on my friends big back deck. 2 of my friends and I (all nurses) started talking shop and telling funny stories (we thought ) about work. We must have chatted for 30- 40 minutes and were laughing so hard we were crying. I looked up and they entire deck was deserted! Everyone else from the party had gone inside! :) Guess we were not as funny as we thought we were. It was years ago so I do not remember what we were talking about but I do remember seeing how we had literally cleared the deck!
