one side love problem between student nurse and doctor

Published

Hey I am a student nurse, I fell for a medical student over a year. I found his fb and took the first step to message him. But then one of my friend who wanted to try helping me made him angry. And I don't know what to do now? Feel free to comment and give advice .

Don't date the residents, med students, doctors. Focus on getting your license if you decide you want that. Don't do it for him though.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pedi.
@BuckyBadger... sorry to clarify... should have edited. it's at least against school rules from what I know. my friend is a TA and told me that his contract prohibits him from having a relationship with a student. It also states so in one of the policies for a major academic hospital I've read, a professor cannot have a relationship with a student.

It's certainly against the rules of most universities but it's not against the law. College students are adults.

High school teachers having relationships with minor students is illegal. A senior who's 18? Technically not illegal but would probably still get the teacher fired... unless you live in the kind of town I grew up in where as long as the teacher is a townie/a member of the old boys' club it will be well known but swept under the rug and said teacher will somehow go from being gym teacher to assistant principal to principal to superintendent. True story.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Did I suddenly fall into a Twilight Zone of middle-school message boards?! I swear the OP sounds as if she's twelve years old, and on her first crush. "Does he like me? I like him....does he like me?" Absurd.

OP if you wish to be a professional nurse, then finish school and act like one. Sending unwanted messages to an unresponsive recipient will earn you the title Creepy Student, not Love of his Life.

If your motivation for school is a non-responsive guy, you should get out of nursing school now, and find something else to do. Preferably where oogling over 'boys' won't get you fired.

I cannot believe this is a serious request for advice, but if it IS.....here's mine: Move On.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
LOL.. I wouldn't say finding a person on fb and msging them is stalkerish... Otherwise.. I guess I've done it a TON of times!

There are actually a bunch of people out there who think "ring before spring".. there's actually a motto like that for a school I know of...

I don't know the content of the OP's Facebook message--it may have been "Hi! I'm friends with your friend Joe. Hope we can hang out some time." Not really creepy.

If the message was "I noticed you at the hospital, you are really cute, let's go out." To me--creepy. If it's just one message, I would not call it stalking, but definitely creepy. Also it would make me wonder what is up with the person that they cannot come up to me and talk directly to me. A 2nd message after I don't answer the first--that would be stalking.

Also, is there actually a school that has the motto "ring before spring?" Or is this a motto for a school of thought? For example "the creepy Facebook school" of thought.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, Med Surg, Renal Care.

This sounds like Fatal Attraction type ish! Please focus on your studies, the man isn't interested. Move on!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I don't know the content of the OP's Facebook message--it may have been "Hi! I'm friends with your friend Joe. Hope we can hang out some time." Not really creepy.

If the message was "I noticed you at the hospital, you are really cute, let's go out." To me--creepy. If it's just one message, I would not call it stalking, but definitely creepy. Also it would make me wonder what is up with the person that they cannot come up to me and talk directly to me. A 2nd message after I don't answer the first--that would be stalking.

Also, is there actually a school that has the motto "ring before spring?" Or is this a motto for a school of thought? For example "the creepy Facebook school" of thought.

It crossed the line to creepy/stalker when her friend talked to the med student. Clearly he wasn't interested since he didn't respond to the message.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.
It crossed the line to creepy/stalker when her friend talked to the med student.

True.

To the OP--put yourself in the shoes of the med student. If someone sent you a message on Facebook…you think it's a bit strange and you really aren't interested in pursing a relationship with this person, so you don't respond. That person then sends a friend to you to try and "push" you to the other person. Does that not sound creepy and harassment-like to you?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Did I suddenly fall into a Twilight Zone of middle-school message boards?! I swear the OP sounds as if she's twelve years old, and on her first crush. "Does he like me? I like him....does he like me?" Absurd.

OP if you wish to be a professional nurse, then finish school and act like one. Sending unwanted messages to an unresponsive recipient will earn you the title Creepy Student, not Love of his Life.

If your motivation for school is a non-responsive guy, you should get out of nursing school now, and find something else to do. Preferably where oogling over 'boys' won't get you fired.

I cannot believe this is a serious request for advice, but if it IS.....here's mine: Move On.

Well said. My sentiments exactly.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatric Hematology/Oncology.

lol wut :wacky:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

I think OP is not listening/reading anything from us anymore (prolly since we're old and "don't understand"). She's certainly not responded since ~ p2.

I'm w/you all. Grow up, OP, study and forget abt that guy. There's someone better out there for you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Hi Chinglee,

Ok your posts are a bit confusing but this is what I understand. You meet a student Dr through your nursing studies and have a crush on him. You worked up the courage to contact him, but because of some issue (personal or work related) between he and a friend you worry he will not respond well? Is this correct?

So you sound very young from your post. A crush is totally fine, nice part of life, and if thinking about him gets you through tough school work then that works for you. If you still work with this Dr or will in the future then I would suggest keeping your feelings to your self. Any personal interactions, positive or negative, might make the situation awkward for both of you and those around you which is unprofessional. In general it is good to keep your personal life out of the work place, which is why his disagreement with your friend should not be your concern. Good luck going forward.

First and only appropriate comment I've seen. Some really rude comments here. It is only human to get a big crush, and this can happen at any stage in your life and on any place, whether professional or non professional. I have met many nurses whom have fallen for a Dr in training school and have very well ended up together. It is not delusional to fall for someone, even if it's a doctor, or sounds like it's straight out of a movie. You nurses are so quick to judge.

This is what makes me hate nursing, and regret choosing it as a career everyday.

And her grammar might not be the best cause perhaps she might be from another country?

But what Elou has said is very clear and very true and not to mention 'polite'.

Gives me hope that there's still some nice nurses out there.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This has nothing to do with being nursing and medical students and everything to do with you coming off as desperate and being creepy.

I mean, having a crush is fine. Getting to know someone and messaging them on facebook is fine, depending on the message, and who knows, maybe something could come of it. I don't think that's necessarily an awful thing.

But calling him your "motivation" when it sounds like he doesn't know you from Adam sounds a lot like a 14-year-old girl's hot for teacher kind of thing...

Move along. Plenty of fish in the sea, and personal growth is a priority.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion