when is it okay to combat rudeness w/ rudeness?

[OnlinePersona, LPN]

I read a lot of threads here about bullying and general rudeness. The overall advice i see is either tell the manager or say politely that they are bothered by the behavior. Is it ever okay to not filter your words and actions to make a point?

Im curious on what you guys think

Speaking from my experience, i get more satisfaction by dealing with the person in the demeanor they approached me initially. I've been known to walk up to people who attempted to bring me down and i would simply say , "do we have problems?" or whatever diva-fied remark that i feel is warranted. Theres no fun or satisfaction with having someone else stand up for you---- those people wont ever respect you. you will get respect by standing up to them head on and letting them know your no victim.

[RN403, BSN, RN]

I agree, I can and will stand up for myself. It is much more satisfying, anyway. However, at the end of the day I would still like to be employed. In the "real world" I give it back to you how you give it to me. At work, I surely get my point across but in a much nicer tone.

Do people deserve straight rudeness right back sometimes? Yes. But, would I also like to have a place of employment? Yes.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Hospitals are a business, therefore one must be politically correct.

Responding to rudeness with rudeness, not only brings you down to their level....

It'll get YOU canned in a heartbeat.

This is not about YOUR satisfaction. We are all expected to play nice in the sandbox.. any form of retaliation will only come back to hurt you.

[sharpeimom]

I would never be rude to someone at work, whether patient or follow employee because that's how I was reared. I'd report whatever had happened up the chain of command as necessary. Rudeness in kind reduces you to the other person's level. Besides which, it can backfire and usually does.

[caliotter3]

I agree, I can and will stand up for myself. It is much more satisfying, anyway. However, at the end of the day I would still like to be employed. In the "real world" I give it back to you how you give it to me. At work, I surely get my point across but in a much nicer tone.

Do people deserve straight rudeness right back sometimes? Yes. But, would I also like to have a place of employment? Yes.

This is my approach. I have found in my experience that it is never the other person who gets the discipline or bad reputation in the organization, and they never lose their job. People like this would never behave like this on the job if they did not have the support and encouragement of management.

[OnlinePersona, LPN]

Hospitals are a business, therefore one must be politically correct.

Responding to rudeness with rudeness, not only brings you down to their level....

It'll get YOU canned in a heartbeat.

This is not about YOUR satisfaction. We are all expected to play nice in the sandbox.. any form of retaliation will only come back to hurt you.

oh come on. im not keying someones car. im not talking about going all ghetto on someone.

all the moments ive addressed someone i never got in trouble.

i cant be the only one

[elkpark]

"you will get respect by standing up to them head on and letting them know your no victim."

This is true, but your post seems to assume that the only way to do that is to stoop to their level and, as you titled the thread, combat rudeness with rudeness, which is not true and, as already noted, may backfire on you.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

oh come on. im not keying someones car. im not talking about going all ghetto on someone.

all the moments ive addressed someone i never got in trouble.

i cant be the only one

As you are student, you have not yet worked in a hospital/corporate setting. Responding with rudeness is considered escalation.

Now in the real world...do whatever floats your boat.

In the real world , I carry my Glock ( have a CPL). The sandbox rules have changed again. I must be cool and level headed at all times. An armed society is a polite society

[Nola009]

I don't curse, or get physically threatening/ intimidating, but I do believe that sometimes, when the covert rudeness is getting on your last nerve and you are about to go off, a few well placed, snarky or straightforward comments (per situation) work fine. If it's all out rudeness, I will for sure not flinch, and maybe gain allies first, or go straight in and put them in check. Or, laugh it off if it's shows their own stupidity. I like to handle my own problems whenever possible.

[parascribe]

I try to remember what Oscar Wilde said: " A gentleman is never rude unintentionally."

What I most try to avoid is replying in anger, or just snapping at someone. After that, depends on what you're trying to accomplish. I find that using rudeness as a communication tool is rarely effective, unless your goal is to escalate an arguement. It works great for that.

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

"you will get respect by standing up to them head on and letting them know your no victim."

This is true, but your post seems to assume that the only way to do that is to stoop to their level and, as you titled the thread, combat rudeness with rudeness, which is not true and, as already noted, may backfire on you.

Plus, your poll asks...is it OK to not filter your words. And the answer is No. To not filter is pretty "ghetto" IMHO

It's great to quietly assert yourself, but that doesn't mean descending to their level, but instead choosing your words carefully to express yourself appropriately.

[sourapril]

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. You can't please everyone. Even the politest person has enemies.