Nursing Supervisor is Inappropriate

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Telemetry, ER.

I started working weekends in March (I still work weekdays) and the weekend nursing supervisor has been extremely flirtatious towards me. He makes sexually suggestive comments towards me, holds my hand, brushes up against me, rubs my arm, draws smiley faces on my paperwork that I leave at my computer when I am in a patient's room, he has given me his cell phone number and has asked repeatedly why I don't text or call him.

For example I am working on the computer and have my hand on the mouse, he comes up behind me and puts his hand over mine and will then pick up my hand and holds it. He said, "your hands are cold, I can warm you up. Would you like it if I warmed you up?"

One day I offered to help a NA roll a patient in the bed so he could get cleaned up. The supervisor said to me, "you can help me in bed." I said, "I doubt you need help." He said, "you never know, why don't you offer to help me out?"

I was about to use a bladder scanner on a patient and the supervisor took the lubricant, squirted it onto his hand, then rubbed it onto my arm. I was shocked. He said, "I have wanted to put some lubricant on you for a long time." I walked off to get paper towels to clean it up, and he came after me and took the towels and wiped it off my arm.

I was standing at the ER doorway waiting for the ambulance to bring in a patient and he stood beside me and started to tap and rub his foot on my shoe. I said, "Your shoes have sparkles on them. I didn't know you liked sparkles." (I honestly thought he would get offended and stop.) He said, "there's a lot of things you don't know about me. All you have to do is ask. I'd like you to get to know me better."

There are a lot of incidents like this. My coworkers know what's going on and some have said "you just have to know how to take him when he makes comments and he is like that to some nurses." Some have said he has been fired from several jobs because of sexual harassment. Even patients have seen some of this behavior and have said that they think it is wrong (he will come into a patient's room with me to see what I am doing or if I need anything or to just check on me).

I don't want to be rude and I do want it to stop, but I definitely don't want to lose my job. I am seriously afraid to say anything. This is the nursing supervisor, so this is my boss's boss. Part of me thinks I might be overly sensitive and overreacting. I've just never had anyone be like this around me. I have not seen him do this to other nurses. I did hear that he was like this to an ICU nurse years ago, but she no longer works here.

So what do you think? Am I overreacting? Is there anything that I can do? Part of me thinks I just need to deal with it and eventually he will stop.

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You need to stop this...like yesterday. Report this immediately to HR. Immediately!!!! Not only is it illegal but he is in a position of authority over you. If you rebuff him you may very well lose your job or worse. You are not overreacting. Yes, we've all told an off-color joke from time to time or the occasional double-entendre but he has laid his hands on you and that takes it to a whole 'nother level. Report him! NOW!

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And can I just say...BARF!!!!!!

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

This is blatant sexual harassment and a violation of your civil rights. Go to HR now.

Be clear & firm. No. Why did you just waste ultrasound gel on my arm. No thank you I can clean it up.

You need to step back personal space. Stop.

Be firm. Do report it. He's likely to escalate. Don't worry about hurting his feelings he is very aware of what he's doing

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Specializes in Hospice.

If your story is true, then no - you are not overreacting.

Seek a lawyer's advice. Sexual harassment is fiendishly hard to prove. It's also a huge liability issue for business organizations and they all have mechanisms to address it. They have a vested interest in suppressing and discouraging complaints, though, so you need someone on your side that they can't control.

The first priority is your safety. Has he threatened you or your job? If so, get out!

Is it possible to transfer out from under his direct supervision?

Have you told him to stop? That needs to be your first move. You need to say it directly and preferably with witnesses. If you don't, when you report him, he'll simply claim that he "misunderstood your signals" and didn't know his advances were unwelcome.

Have you kept a journal of incidents or related them to anyone on or off the job? Has anyone else witnessed this behavior or been subjected to it themselves?

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Telemetry, ER.

I want to make it clear that I LOVE my job. I'm concerned that saying anything will jeopardize my job in some way. Other people have witnessed this, but I never kept a journal. I really didn't think it would last this long. I have no desire to get a lawyer.

I have tried avoiding him and I walk away after he says or does something. Yesterday I walked away after he made a comment and he followed me and said "you don't need to be embarrassed around me and you don't have to walk away."

There's no way I can't be under his supervision. He is the boss of all the nurses in the entire hospital (he's the boss of my boss (the nurse manager)). He isn't with me all day, but he sees me many times each day on the weekend days that I work.

I guess I need to be more firm and actually say this is making me uncomfortable. I have preferred the more passive and avoidant approach because I wanted to avoid repercussions from him. I believe he could have me fired if he wanted to.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
I want to make it clear that I LOVE my job. I'm concerned that saying anything will jeopardize my job in some way. Other people have witnessed this, but I never kept a journal. I really didn't think it would last this long. I have no desire to get a lawyer.

I have tried avoiding him and I walk away after he says or does something. Yesterday I walked away after he made a comment and he followed me and said "you don't need to be embarrassed around me and you don't have to walk away."

There's no way I can't be under his supervision. He is the boss of all the nurses in the entire hospital (he's the boss of my boss (the nurse manager)). He isn't with me all day, but he sees me many times each day on the weekend days that I work.

I guess I need to be more firm and actually say this is making me uncomfortable. I have preferred the more passive and avoidant approach because I wanted to avoid repercussions from him. I believe he could have me fired if he wanted to.

Passive is easily misinterpreted.

Be clear.

Be direct.

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Specializes in Hospice.

OP, you need to know how to protect yourself from retaliation. That he's done this once before that you know of tells me that this is his m.o. and there are probably more survivors of his attentions than just two. That, and the fact that he's the DON, suggests to me that it's highly unlikely that he'll just stop when you tell him to, with no retaliation or repercussions.

You have three options: leave the job, give in to his advances or say no and file a complaint. All of these options have unavoidable consequences and trusting the kindness of strangers won't protect you from them. It sucks - you don't deserve this and it isn't your fault - but there it is. Pick one.

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

1. Get a lawyer

2. Look for a per diem job for backup

3. Prepare for the fall out

Being avoidant to a sexual predator ( which he clearly is) is a YES to them; he may get upset with your no, but from this point forward you need to document and keep records of everything and just be prepared for any fall-out; he is NOT going to stop. :no:

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I want to make it clear that I LOVE my job. I'm concerned that saying anything will jeopardize my job in some way. Other people have witnessed this, but I never kept a journal. I really didn't think it would last this long. I have no desire to get a lawyer.

I have tried avoiding him and I walk away after he says or does something. Yesterday I walked away after he made a comment and he followed me and said "you don't need to be embarrassed around me and you don't have to walk away."

There's no way I can't be under his supervision. He is the boss of all the nurses in the entire hospital (he's the boss of my boss (the nurse manager)). He isn't with me all day, but he sees me many times each day on the weekend days that I work.

I guess I need to be more firm and actually say this is making me uncomfortable. I have preferred the more passive and avoidant approach because I wanted to avoid repercussions from him. I believe he could have me fired if he wanted to.

Passivity is, unfortunately, something that predators really like. Be clear. Be blunt. Tell him he is not allowed to touch you. Tell him you do not want his phone number and you will not contact him outside of work. Say as much "no" as possible in front of other people. Start that journal. Include names of witnesses. I've personally started favoring e-mails to myself about any big issue, because they are dated and timed.

I had a doctor lean in with a hand on my shoulder (looking at my computer screen) and also flip my name tag over. I told him under no circumstances was he to touch me again. He apologized for making me uncomfortable and gave me space from then on because he was not a creep, just a dude with no personal space, and we both went about our business.

Your choices are to get another job or to figure out how to fight him (or both, if you wish). Either route may take some time, so start documenting. Now.

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

Oversensitive or overreacting?!? No, no, no! I didn't even skim it halfway before I clicked to add a comment. REPORT HIM! To HR, as someone else was saying. I know you don't want to lose your job, but it might be worth it to get away from Mr. Sleaze, as he can't seem to grasp the meaning of the word 'no'.

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1. Get a lawyer

2. Look for a per diem job for backup

3. Prepare for the fall out

Being avoidant to a sexual predator ( which he clearly is) is a YES to them; he may get upset with your no, but from this point forward you need to document and keep records of everything and just be prepared for any fall-out; he is NOT going to stop. :no:

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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