I started working weekends in March (I still work weekdays) and the weekend nursing supervisor has been extremely flirtatious towards me. He makes sexually suggestive comments towards me, holds my hand, brushes up against me, rubs my arm, draws smiley faces on my paperwork that I leave at my computer when I am in a patient's room, he has given me his cell phone number and has asked repeatedly why I don't text or call him.
For example I am working on the computer and have my hand on the mouse, he comes up behind me and puts his hand over mine and will then pick up my hand and holds it. He said, "your hands are cold, I can warm you up. Would you like it if I warmed you up?"
One day I offered to help a NA roll a patient in the bed so he could get cleaned up. The supervisor said to me, "you can help me in bed." I said, "I doubt you need help." He said, "you never know, why don't you offer to help me out?"
I was about to use a bladder scanner on a patient and the supervisor took the lubricant, squirted it onto his hand, then rubbed it onto my arm. I was shocked. He said, "I have wanted to put some lubricant on you for a long time." I walked off to get paper towels to clean it up, and he came after me and took the towels and wiped it off my arm.
I was standing at the ER doorway waiting for the ambulance to bring in a patient and he stood beside me and started to tap and rub his foot on my shoe. I said, "Your shoes have sparkles on them. I didn't know you liked sparkles." (I honestly thought he would get offended and stop.) He said, "there's a lot of things you don't know about me. All you have to do is ask. I'd like you to get to know me better."
There are a lot of incidents like this. My coworkers know what's going on and some have said "you just have to know how to take him when he makes comments and he is like that to some nurses." Some have said he has been fired from several jobs because of sexual harassment. Even patients have seen some of this behavior and have said that they think it is wrong (he will come into a patient's room with me to see what I am doing or if I need anything or to just check on me).
I don't want to be rude and I do want it to stop, but I definitely don't want to lose my job. I am seriously afraid to say anything. This is the nursing supervisor, so this is my boss's boss. Part of me thinks I might be overly sensitive and overreacting. I've just never had anyone be like this around me. I have not seen him do this to other nurses. I did hear that he was like this to an ICU nurse years ago, but she no longer works here.
So what do you think? Am I overreacting? Is there anything that I can do? Part of me thinks I just need to deal with it and eventually he will stop.
I have been here. Unfortunately something bad ended up happening to before I spoke up because I kept making excuses. Went to HR. It was kept completely confidential and he was fired. After he was gone all these other stories started coming out from other people too. I wish I had stood my ground earlier.
Is there any way you can anonymously report him? As if you were a patient that has witnessed him?
Your corporate compliance officer should have an anonymous reporting system. Plus coming from a "patient" it should make them sit up and pay attention.
This man fulfills the very definition of sexual harassment. Report him to HR. They won't take it lightly - if they did, their company would be liable also.
Go now - your life shouldn't be miserable because of this man.
To be honest - if HR doesn't help you, quit and file a lawsuit.
Just read this whole thread for the first time and I'm now very worried the OP hasn't answered for so long :/ What a disgusting pig the supervisor is. Please let us know you're okay Shelby?
Thank you for all the kind words and concerns. I appreciate it. Things did get worse and it got to the point that I hated going to work. He drove past my house a couple of times and used to say things like he wanted to play mind games on my husband. He resigned a couple of months after I made my first post about this. Since then I found out that he was harassing a couple of other nurses and nursing assistants, all of which say they were afraid to report him. After he left, I did learn that I was wrong about the hierarchy and that he was never my manager's boss. Even so, he was in a superior position to me and I always felt that I would lose my job if I reported him. (Interestingly, I'm not the only one that felt this way.) Everything is okay now and I'm still working at the same place. He hasn't contacted me since resigning and I don't think he will try to. I'm sorry it has taken so long to update everyone, I wanted to forget about everything I went through and just move on. Even now it makes me uncomfortable to talk about this, I'm just glad it's over. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts- I read every comment and I appreciate your input.
Thank you for all the kind words and concerns. I appreciate it. Things did get worse and it got to the point that I hated going to work. He drove past my house a couple of times and used to say things like he wanted to play mind games on my husband. He resigned a couple of months after I made my first post about this. Since then I found out that he was harassing a couple of other nurses and nursing assistants, all of which say they were afraid to report him. After he left, I did learn that I was wrong about the hierarchy and that he was never my manager's boss. Even so, he was in a superior position to me and I always felt that I would lose my job if I reported him. (Interestingly, I'm not the only one that felt this way.) Everything is okay now and I'm still working at the same place. He hasn't contacted me since resigning and I don't think he will try to. I'm sorry it has taken so long to update everyone, I wanted to forget about everything I went through and just move on. Even now it makes me uncomfortable to talk about this, I'm just glad it's over. Thank you to everyone who shared their thoughts- I read every comment and I appreciate your input.
Regardless of the fact that he has not tried to contact you I would encourage you to be vigilant. If he has driven by your house I would make a police report so there is something in writing regarding this yahoo. Do not let your guard down. People like this are unpredictable. Trust me when I say this I have my reasons.
I'm so glad that you are ok. I'd kept this thread bookmarked just in case you ever checked back in. With a guy like that, it's not surprising that he was victimizing a number of women. I agree with pp, still be careful just in case, but I'm so happy you're safe and it seems to be over.
That is disgusting, unprofessional, and does not allow for you to concentrate on your job. You should report him immediately. Just because he has been known for harassment in the past, and the nurses around you say that it is a "normal" thing he does to other nurses, doesn't mean that you should not report him. In fact, maybe getting fired from this job is the wake up call that he needs...
Lev, MSN, RN, NP
4 Articles; 2,805 Posts
OP, update please. How are you doing? Did you talk to husband and lawyer?