Nursing Instructor Continuously Embarrassing Me

[Jlseeze]

There is a nursing instructor at my school that is continuously embarrassing me mainly because this nursing instructor believes that I am too quiet, so he has made it his goal to bother me constantly.

He has made speeches in front of the class about how he doesn't understand how a student can become a nurse and be quiet and non-confrontational.

He has said that he doesn't understand how we could talk to doctors and make it in nursing.

I do not know what to do anymore. The teacher has constantly embarrassed me in front of other students by walking over to my group during labs and telling them that they need to help me because I am quieter. I don't know if I'm crazy, but I think this is VERY rude. I don't understand it.

I am a person that can take a lot of crap from people, but this really made me upset. Whenever this has happened, I have literally gotten upset in class and wanted to walk out and never come back. Why can't this teacher just teach the class and leave me alone.

He comes up to students and literally tells them to help me because I am quiet. This causes the students to look at me and wonder what's going on. He has told me that I need to get some confidence and make friends in the class.

He has asked me why I won't talk to the other students. Now mind you, this class only takes place for one hour every week. How could this teacher possibly know who I speak with and what I do. I think this teacher is being inappropriate at my expense. It is making me really uncomfortable. It makes dread having to attend the class. I will admit that I am not the most talkative person, but as long as I get my grades that is my business.

Once, I got so upset that I literally sat alone and did my work. I didn't say a word the whole entire class. That left everyone in my group confused at my behavior. Me, not talking has made it even worse. He gets even more in my face. His presence is suffocating. I don't know how to get around this. He has also gone to my other teachers and told them how quiet I am, and that I do not talk the other students. This gives my other teachers the same perspective of me. Can some please HELP? Should I report the teacher?

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

He will continue to be obnoxious until you calmly (at least pretend) tell him that you are perfectly capable of speaking up for yourself and speaking out for your patients when needed.

And then tell him he is an effing horses behind!

I had an instructor target me back in the day too. I just made sure I passsed and never went back. Oh, I did give him a scathing evaluation though.................

[llg, PhD, RN]

I don't like his tactics either -- but the easiest and quickest way to address the situation is to talk. Do what he asks you to do. For you to sit alone in class an not interact with your classmates only made the situation worse. Speak up. Ask a few questions. Smile. Make sure he sees you talking to your classmates and talking to him. Until you do that, you are not meeting his expectations for his students and he will grade you down for it.

Nursing is about more than just getting good grades on a test, writing a good paper, etc. It requires that you work well with others as a team member and that you speak up on behalf of your patients when they can't speak for themselves. Show this instructor that you can that. Then if he is still "picking on you," you will have reason to speak with higher authorities about his inappropriate behavior. But by your own admission, you are failing to meet his expectations for your performance in class. So meet his expectations -- then see if he still gives you a hard time.

Good luck.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

email him this link: a fabulous ted seminar on the power of introverts. (it'll help you too. 19 minutes that just might change your life!)

susan cain: the power of introverts - youtube

but i still agree with iig: meet his expectations. speak up. even if you need to prepare a little dialog the night before.

[dsf43]

As I was reading your post, I had a thought. It could potentially be (this is just a theory) that he is trying to teach you a lesson in itself. By him targeting you and always saying your quiet, you need help, you'll get pushed around, how can you talk to doctors, etc., maybe he is just trying to toughen you up and push you enough that you will speak for yourself and defend yourself. Maybe he hopes that by him pushing you, he will make you want to prove him wrong and speak to your other classmates (I'm sure you probably do anyway and he just doesn't notice). Maybe all he wants is for you to prove him wrong and make you a stronger nurse.

But like I said, this is just a theory and there are a lot of maybes involved. Sometimes professors like to pick on students to toughen them up and sometimes they pick on them because they have some vendetta against them.

My advice though? I would just speak up. If he's constantly on your butt about not talking, then just talk. Honestly, it would not be offensive or rude, if he tries calling you out again, to say "Thank you for your concern Mr. Blahblahblah, but I am fully capable in engaging conversation with my fellow students, and I have no problem speaking up for myself when needed such as this instant. I appreciate your concern, but it is not necessary." Practice in the mirror if you need to or reword it to sound nicer. Either way, if he keeps telling you to talk and stick up for yourself, then do it! :) Good luck!

[morte, LPN, LVN]

Frankly, he sounds pathologic to me. You need to tell him to bug off. ....or hirer the boyz from Illionoiz.........

...and i am betting that you are single, and he wouldn't dare pull this crap with a married woman.

[rogueinfomaniac]

I used to work with a Doc who constantly did the same thing to one of our LPN's... once the LPN had enough he stood up infront of the entire nurses station and confronted him about it, there was never a mention of being too quiet again. It's tough to stand up and confront someone, but in the end it should keep them off your back.

[Katie71275]

You need to stand up for yourself. He will only bully you as long as YOU continue to allow it to happen.

[PedsHopeful]

You are kind of proving his point. He is treating you like crap, and you are pretty much just taking it and not saying anything. His whole point is you have to learn to stand up and speak confidentally for yourself because doctors can be just as pushy and rude. If you dont learn to speak up and stop taking crap from people like you say you do, they are going to eat you alive. Speak up, and tell him to back off.

[BloomNurseRN, ASN, BSN, RN]

I have never understood that tactic and it's definitely not one I would use. That being said, you have to stand up and be more vocal. It's not easy, especially in the beginning, but if you're going to get him off you're back you're going to have to show him that he can't treat you that way. I hope you're able to do just that. Good luck!

[BostonFNP, APRN]

I have seen this same scenario a few times and every time it was because the instructor him/herself had struggled with speaking up themselves and were trying to help the student avoid the struggles they had faced early in their career (specifically one of these instructors had lost a patient because she didn't push the resident to come see them when she knew the pt was going to crash). It's easy to say "oh, I would speak up in that instance" but instructors want to witness you doing it.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

Take a deep breath, plan out what you're going to say, pull him aside and confront the situation respectfully. Show him that you have the confidence to speak up for yourself when necessary.