There is a nursing instructor at my school that is continuously embarrassing me mainly because this nursing instructor believes that I am too quiet, so he has made it his goal to bother me constantly.
He has made speeches in front of the class about how he doesn't understand how a student can become a nurse and be quiet and non-confrontational.
He has said that he doesn't understand how we could talk to doctors and make it in nursing.
I do not know what to do anymore. The teacher has constantly embarrassed me in front of other students by walking over to my group during labs and telling them that they need to help me because I am quieter. I don't know if I'm crazy, but I think this is VERY rude. I don't understand it.
I am a person that can take a lot of crap from people, but this really made me upset. Whenever this has happened, I have literally gotten upset in class and wanted to walk out and never come back. Why can't this teacher just teach the class and leave me alone.
He comes up to students and literally tells them to help me because I am quiet. This causes the students to look at me and wonder what's going on. He has told me that I need to get some confidence and make friends in the class.
He has asked me why I won't talk to the other students. Now mind you, this class only takes place for one hour every week. How could this teacher possibly know who I speak with and what I do. I think this teacher is being inappropriate at my expense. It is making me really uncomfortable. It makes dread having to attend the class. I will admit that I am not the most talkative person, but as long as I get my grades that is my business.
Once, I got so upset that I literally sat alone and did my work. I didn't say a word the whole entire class. That left everyone in my group confused at my behavior. Me, not talking has made it even worse. He gets even more in my face. His presence is suffocating. I don't know how to get around this. He has also gone to my other teachers and told them how quiet I am, and that I do not talk the other students. This gives my other teachers the same perspective of me. Can some please HELP? Should I report the teacher?
no matter the reason, it is juvenile, inappropriate behavior. What is the def. of insane? repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result.....he is repeatedly harrassing this student, expecting a different result. Report his ass up the chain of command.
Standing up for yourself --to him, coworkers, managers, patients, whatever-- is a life skill. I dont agree with his tactics but communicating powerfully with him and your classmates and standing up for yourself could be the best learning experience of nursing school. In the end, nursing is dealing with people (reasonable or not) and being able to get good grades by doing your own work quietly isn't going to fully prepare you.
As I was reading your post, I had a thought. It could potentially be (this is just a theory) that he is trying to teach you a lesson in itself. By him targeting you and always saying your quiet, you need help, you'll get pushed around, how can you talk to doctors, etc., maybe he is just trying to toughen you up and push you enough that you will speak for yourself and defend yourself. Maybe he hopes that by him pushing you, he will make you want to prove him wrong and speak to your other classmates (I'm sure you probably do anyway and he just doesn't notice). Maybe all he wants is for you to prove him wrong and make you a stronger nurse.
But like I said, this is just a theory and there are a lot of maybes involved. Sometimes professors like to pick on students to toughen them up and sometimes they pick on them because they have some vendetta against them.
My advice though? I would just speak up. If he's constantly on your butt about not talking, then just talk. Honestly, it would not be offensive or rude, if he tries calling you out again, to say "Thank you for your concern Mr. Blahblahblah, but I am fully capable in engaging conversation with my fellow students, and I have no problem speaking up for myself when needed such as this instant. I appreciate your concern, but it is not necessary." Practice in the mirror if you need to or reword it to sound nicer. Either way, if he keeps telling you to talk and stick up for yourself, then do it! :) Good luck!
I agree with this post....his tactics are certainly not the most professional, however I think the lesson here is to defend youreself, advocate for yourself....you are expected to be your patients advocate and how can you do that if you cannot do that for yourself?.....I am not being critical at all, but I believe that this is a lesson in action....step up and stake your claim to be respected.....
Since the instructor has made it clear what the purpose of his behavior is, you need to respond accordingly. It would be a different matter if he were just being a jerk toward you, to be a jerk.
He has made speeches in front of the class about how he doesn't understand how a student can become a nurse and be quiet and non-confrontational.
He has asked me why I won't talk to the other students.
Once, I got so upset that I literally sat alone and did my work. I didn't say a word the whole entire class. That left everyone in my group confused at my behavior. Me, not talking has made it even worse. He gets even more in my face.
UMMMMM... NO! Reporting the teacher (for doing his job and trying to teach you) is not advisable. It will only prove his point that you are quiet and can't handle confrontations.
If he has made speeches in class about how he doesn't understand how a quiet and non-confrontational students can become nurses, that should have been a pretty big clue to you that his opinion is that you need to be able to stand up for yourself and your patient. Not to mention that Nursing is a a profession that requires constant communication.
He has asked you why you won't talk to other students, which means that he has not seen you speak with other students. What happened outside of class is not important in this instance.... he is concerned about what he has seen in class. To me it seems that he was trying to figure out if there was a cause to your quietness in class so that he could help to fix it (especially when he is discussing it with other teachers. This is not vindictive, he is not trying to sour other teachers opinions of you. He is trying to figure out if you are quiet all the time or just in his class)
Getting so upset that you withdraw and work alone was the worse thing you could do! First, think about this realistically, you can't do that in "real" life as a nurse! Second, you are doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the teacher expects from you. That is the same as having the teacher assign specific homework and you doing the exact opposite of what he assigned. It is rude, it is stupid and it will probably effect your grade negatively.
Finally, you said yourself that not speaking has made him give you more attention. If it is the attention that you do not like, the easiest way to get rid of him is to start talking in class! Participation in class will keep him happy.
With all of this said, maybe you should rethink your career choice. I think that you are going to have to deal with much harder situation once you are outside of the school bubble. If you can't talk to you classmates when a teacher tells you to then what makes you think that you can handle nursing. In just one shift you will need to speak to other nurses to get report on your patients, you need to speak to patients for many reasons (get a history, doing an assessment, explain a diagnosis, explain treatment, educate the patient etc) patient's families (answer questions, educate etc) Doctor's and many other hospital staff (from CNA's to Lab techs etc)
He is not necessarily doing his job, and if that is what he is trying to do, he is making a muck of it. A good part of this thread makes me think of a city in Sweden.....and a river in Egypt......and "I had to go through it, so you have to too."
I know how you feel. I once attended a class where the first thing the teacher did was comment on how quiet I was and that seemed to bother her more than myself. There are some people in this world who are actually intimidated by your silence, they feel like you may have something to hide, maybe you don't like them, etc...and that's threatening to them. It's hard to say what your teacher's aim is but I would start asking him so many questions related to my studies that he gets tired of coming near me. Make a list the night before and start asking as soon as he comes near you. Maybe if he's doing his job more he won't have to worry about how much (or little) you talk. I am very quiet in a classroom setting unless I already know someone there but I usually get familiar with at least 1 person fairly quickly. I would definitely NOT say that my quietness is any indication of how I speak of for myself. I am a firm believer in fairness and I have been known to speak up for strangers if I feel that they are not being treated fairly. The less your mouth is running the more you hear and others are less likely to forget what you say when you do talk :).
He is not necessarily doing his job, and if that is what he is trying to do, he is making a muck of it. A good part of this thread makes me think of a city in Sweden.....and a river in Egypt......and "I had to go through it, so you have to too."
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
A fellow student did that to me. I asked her to watch my patient who had fixed crossed eyes while I went to lunch. When I returned, she told me she reported the malady to our instructor who rushed to the patient's room with a bunch of us in attendance. I was so angry at her for overstepping my territory, and reporting something that was normal with her without my knowledge, trying to make me look like I didn't know what I was doing.
Maybe I am totally off-base here, but the OPs situation is a screaming red flag to me.... some sort of creepy interpersonal 'thing' with that instructor. To me, this instructor is exhibiting a very inappropriate and obsessive behavior. Unless the class is intended to teach public speaking or assertiveness, the teacher is waaaaay off base.
It is important for all teachers to maintain a rational and objective professional approach to student interactions. 'Crossing the line' into interpersonal issues is very dangerous career-wise, it can be easily interpreted as harassment (sexual, racial, etc).
Unless the class is intended to teach public speaking or assertiveness, the teacher is waaaaay off base.
Honestly??? Maybe I am the only one, but the best teachers I have had are the ones that know the subject they teach and relate it to the real world and/or my field of study.
So an A&P prof. that does not relate the material to nursing or give real world examples does not help me learn the material any better than if I just read the textbook.
The OP specifically called this man her "Nursing Instructor" so I think that he is completely ON base. The OP needs to be able to speak loudly enough and clearly enough to be heard by patients, doctors, family members, other nurses, etc. She also needs to be assertive enough to advocate for her patients.
morte, LPN, LVN
7,015 Posts
no matter the reason, it is juvenile, inappropriate behavior. What is the def. of insane? repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result.....he is repeatedly harrassing this student, expecting a different result. Report his ass up the chain of command.