Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Cardiology, Psychiatry.

NPO until fully awake...

Apply 1" of nitropaste to chest wall Q6, have a 8 hour nitrate free period at night

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i work on a respiratory unit, had an order for a psych consult...on an unresponsive trach/vent patient. funny thing was the nurse on the previous shift had noted the order pending family approval. the daughter wanted to know why her mother who had been unresponsive and on the vent for 15yrs warranted a psych consult. we all had a good laugh imagining exactly how that consult would play out! unbelievable some of the things you see on a daily basis!

usually what that means is that the attending needs help with the psych meds. could this med that we've been putting down her ng tube every day because she takes it at home be causing some of these symptoms? could it be interfering with this other drug? if it is, can we just stop it or do we have to taper it? what will happen if we don't taper it?

and then there are the patients (two of them in the past five years) with conversion reactions. one was faking unresponsiveness and the other was faking seizures. pysch consult helped us figure that one out.

here's one you probably haven't seen in a chart: "witch doctor consult."

it worked, too!

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I have heard of the sugar tx for pressure ulcers from wound care nurses nowadays but they don't use it anymore.

But the back rub thing I think went out when we all started having 10 to 12 patients, ( 8 most nights on my floor),and some patients with the multiple psych problems + medical problems most nurses get on med surg or cardiac floors like where I work if we tried therapuetic touch they would become abusive or think we were commiting battery on them... I am serious...:o

sad but true I wish it were different because human touch is important.

Another good decub remedy you don't see anymore....... Mix Maalox with Iodine and leave open to air (preferably a fan blowing directly on their butt). Just remember to turn pt so that they are facing the door :redpinkhe

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It may be a Europe/Australia/NZ thing; all of the websites I've seen that involve IV acetaminophen have all been from Europe, Australia or NZ, although there are some clinical trials for the drug coming up on clinicaltrials.gov.

Why do we need IV Tylenol when IV Toradol does the same thing? And apparently a whole lot less expensively?

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"Puree bacon and put down NG tube."

From a cardiologist! :uhoh3:

We have a nurse on our unit who collects funny orders, errors in dictation, or anything else that gets messed up when written and/or put into the computer by the unit clerk. Whenever we come across something hilarious, we put a copy in her mailbox. A few good ones:

"CT of Elvis, STAT". Instead of "CT of pelvis". (Sorry, but Elvis has left the building.)

We had one doc who always dictated a very thorough H&P, including details about the patient's sexual history, pets in the home, etc. I came across this one, which implied something the doc surely didn't mean:

"Pt has had 12 sexual partners, one dog."

My personal favorite: "Propofol drip, titrate for seduction." (Instead of sedation.)

In Progress notes many years ago. Pt has had recent onset of intermittent chest pain. Pt also recently married much younger man. Suspect correlation.

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Had a patient that was going into Nicotine withdrawal and ready to crawl out of his skin if he wasn't allowed to smoke, so the doc wrote the order "OK to visit ducks". At our facility there is a pond out front with ducks and a conveniently placed "smoking area". I don't condone smoking, but if it takes a crazy person off my hands, I'm all for it! :up:

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The weirdest I encountered was coffee enema Q1... and it had to be brewed, not instant coffee.... and we did it!!!

.....imagine having your butt having a coffee break...

:D

Hillarious but true. The alkaloids stimulate both the liver and spleen to release toxins. It was a week before I could look at a latte again though....

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Hillarious but true. The alkaloids stimulate both the liver and spleen to release toxins. It was a week before I could look at a latte again though....
:lol2::lol2:No doubt.
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Hillarious but true. The alkaloids stimulate both the liver and spleen to release toxins. It was a week before I could look at a latte again though....

Wow!! I'll second you on that one... Coffee will definitely not be the same for me!

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Specializes in Med-Surg/ ER/ homecare.
ultrasound lle. r/o dvd

:yeah::yeah: LOL!

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Specializes in Med/Surg.
Why do we need IV Tylenol when IV Toradol does the same thing? And apparently a whole lot less expensively?

Not the same thing at all....a lot of people can't take anti inflammatories (if they have bleeding problems, allergies, etc) and Toradol is contraindicated in renal insuffieciency (can't give it to anyone with an elevated creatinine, hx of stomach ulcers, etc etc). IV tylenol would be safe in those cases.

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Specializes in CCU/MED-SURG.

ER H&P stated "no tombstones present' on a pt in for a MI. Pulmonologist on the case started laughing when he read this thinking the ER doc was referring to the pt dying not ST elevation

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