Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Published

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

This is one of the best threads here. I've loved every minute of these. Some of the made me LOL and some of them made me cry. I've run the entire gamut of emotions here. Thanks y'all! :yeah:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Orthopedic.

We had a patient who had previously had a Total Knee Replacement. He did not follow his Dr.'s orders and had to return for a knee manipulation since he had lost ROM in the knee. The Dr's orders stated "CPM (Continuous Passive Motion) Machine as much as humanly possible."

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Administer via fallopian tube.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

:stdnrsrck:this is so funny .. LOL

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in MICU/SICU.

"SCDs until ambulating well" on a bilat BKA pt.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I work on a respiratory unit, had an order for a Psych Consult...on an unresponsive trach/vent patient. Funny thing was the nurse on the previous shift had noted the order pending family approval. The daughter wanted to know why her mother who had been unresponsive and on the vent for 15yrs warranted a psych consult. We all had a good laugh imagining exactly how that consult would play out! Unbelievable some of the things you see on a daily basis!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
I work on a respiratory unit, had an order for a Psych Consult...on an unresponsive trach/vent patient. Funny thing was the nurse on the previous shift had noted the order pending family approval. The daughter wanted to know why her mother who had been unresponsive and on the vent for 15yrs warranted a psych consult. We all had a good laugh imagining exactly how that consult would play out! Unbelievable some of the things you see on a daily basis!
Go figure!!!:uhoh3:
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in med/surg x 6 years, neonatal ICU x 10.

I had a situation similar to Nurse-Lou...

we had a frequent patient, who the cardiologist would write the ETOH orders... he was a COPD'r, bilateral BKA's, 2-3 ppd smoker... PVD, with a wife who harped on him... the Dr used to say that it was easier to give the man a belt Q6 hrs, than to go thru the DT's...

But it wasn't a specific liquor... we never knew what was going to come up from pharmacy to the narc PYXIS... in the amber (cough syrup) bottle. whiskey, vodka... and even the patient used to chuckle at his "waitresses" bringing whatever the "bartender" wanted to serve

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, LTAC, Critical Care.

"Change battery in clock in patient room"

"Scotch, 1/2 oz, q6h prn"

The best order I have ever see a Doc write (not really funny, but I was EXTREMELY thankful that he wrote it):

"21mg Nicotine patch, and Ativan 0.5 to 2mg, po or IV, q2-3h prn, also resume home Xanax"

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Kleenex at the bedside prn

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, OB, Pedi, HH, util review.

About 30 years ago, when computer orders were just beginning to become popular, the older docs couldn't understand why they had to use the new system, and why they couldn't just write orders in the chart, "Like always." Well, they could, and the US would enter them, but the administration was really trying to get all the docs to put their orders directly into the computer, in order to improve efficiency and get care to the patients in a more timely manner. One doc, in particular, had great difficulty getting his orders into the computer and was quite frustrated with the whole process. On one patient's chart, after a long struggle with trying to get the order in, he typed, "Go to hell, computer." Of course, THAT one went in without any problems and is now, permanently, a part of that patient's record.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in critical care, home health.

"Puree bacon and put down NG tube."

From a cardiologist! :uhoh3:

We have a nurse on our unit who collects funny orders, errors in dictation, or anything else that gets messed up when written and/or put into the computer by the unit clerk. Whenever we come across something hilarious, we put a copy in her mailbox. A few good ones:

"CT of Elvis, STAT". Instead of "CT of pelvis". (Sorry, but Elvis has left the building.)

We had one doc who always dictated a very thorough H&P, including details about the patient's sexual history, pets in the home, etc. I came across this one, which implied something the doc surely didn't mean:

"Pt has had 12 sexual partners, one dog."

My personal favorite: "Propofol drip, titrate for seduction." (Instead of sedation.)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion