Nurses struggling with mental illness

[Severina]

I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

[spydercadet]

Hey Woody,

I am in no way diminishing the effects of PTSD on people and as a parent of a child who returned after 15 months in Iraq, I am fully aware of the cost our military is paying.

My suggestion about nursing and PTSD, is the effect that the stimuli never really goes away. After 25 plus years as a nurse I have cared for the sick, the dying and their families more times than I can even remember. It is therefore my point to discuss the when for the many nurses who do the day by day bedside nursing. How many times can we carry one more baby or child to the morgue, what do we do then? For many of us, if not the vast majority, we go home and pretend the child we held in our arms as he/she died, didn't really happen, so we just slip right into our spousal or parental role. But is their a lifetime limit on how many times someone can do that? Or are there certain people it just doesn't bother and some that are devastated by it?

Some of us are lucky enough to have great family or friends as support systems to help us when we just can't seem to figure it out. Others use their faith and their communities. However, I do fear that there are many nurses whose personal lives mimic their work lives and all I am looking for is a discussion on how we can help one another through these times. I'm just wondering if there should be more than, "see ya' tomorrow" after one of those horrible days when nothing you do seems to matter.

I have to admit that I am a shocked that you took the whole PTSD suggestion as "not very sympathetic" and as a matter of fact I had a very good friend die on 9/11 add that with my child in the military and I hope I somehow qualify as someone who understand the effects of PTSD from both a one time incident and from repeated exposures. But really I am not looking for any support for myself, I have learned how to cope with my very own form PTSD. I have grown inside a loving family and a loving God and church community. But what of those who aren't so fortunate.

My goal here is to start a discussion about how we can help nurses as they come into the field and as they journey through their lives and their careers. I don't believe it's a single event that causes the PTSD within nursing to be the problem. I believe it's a life time of facing life and death situations, mixed with a variety of dysfunctional families looking to those same nurses to help them through those loses.

And, I hate to say it Woody, but you are the example of us not caring for one another and actually going as far as discrediting each other. While you may have done well throughout your career, and by the way, so have I, but if there is a nurse who may need support, do you really believe you are making it easier for him/her to look to you for the proverbial shoulder to cry on?

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

Also, some people suffer from PTSD from events that may have happened in their personal lives(ie childhood abuse, spousal abuse, accidents etc) and IMHO, we cannot make judgements about anyone else's diagnosis unless we are the doctor who made the diagnosis in the first place or the person who experienced the event.

[leslie :-D]

i was dx'd with traumatic ptsd in 2004, by 3 different psychiatrists (yep, i was in denial and got a 2nd and 3rd opinion).

because of the meds i was put on, i couldn't work for months.

i eventually took myself off of all of them (except inderal and cymbalta) and started functioning again.

3 yrs later, i still go to therapy.

i've been back at work for over 2 yrs.

because of this "dx", i've gained much insight into myself and to life in gen'l.

it's ultimately made me much more than i thought i could possibly be.

some days, i feel really, really old.

i also work in a specialty that deals with suffering/dying on a daily basis.

and for those who work in an inpt hospice facility, you'll know what i mean:

about not being able to vent to others.

no one wants to hear the gruesome details, esp when it comes to dying.

so yes, spydercadet, i do understand the frustration in not being able to share the stressors on the job.

my dtr is a major concern to me.

she was hospitalized sev'l times in 2005.

her admitting dx was bipolar.

every subsequent hospitalization, just took that dx and ran w/it.

lithium did not help her.

and i never believed she was bipolar.

i did so much research, and i eventually took her off the bipolar meds.

but still, there's something off with her.

she finally has agreed to pursue further evaluation, but does not want to be hospitalized again.

i hope i didn't mess up.

now i'm wondering if she is bipolar.

i associated mania w/unrelenting energy, sleepless nocs, not eating.

i didn't see that with dd, but she is assaultive.

a np told me recently, that can be a manifestation of mania.

so now, i think i messed up big time.

i just don't know.

i have calls into 3 different psychopharmacologists...

thanks for listening, you guys.

it's been one of those days.

leslie

[sharona97, BSN, RN]

Thank you for sharing such intimate details and I hope your week gets better. I wish you continued success in your field and I hope your daughter is soon properly diagnosed, that in itself will probably take a burden from you as well.

Sharona97:balloons:l.

[time4meRN]

Glad to hear you're doing well. Hope things continue to go well so that you have peace in your life.

[Liddle Noodnik]

My suggestion about nursing and PTSD, is the effect that the stimuli never really goes away.... But is their a lifetime limit ... ? Or are there certain people it just doesn't bother and some that are devastated by it?

I think that there is an element of subjectivity - similar to pain tolerance, one will holler w/ a hangnail, another can take 16 hrs of full out labor pains. So - mental anguish, some don't seem to take it in/on, others do.

I don't think someone can say, "Well, you don't hurt as much as I do" or "You are not as affected as I am ..." because they aren't in that person's shoes.

There are also pre-existing factors. I grew up w/ a reasonable amount of trauma and dysfunction, and then to go into the "pummeling" that often results from years of nursing (physical, mental, spiritual ...) - that can add up to a LOT of post-traumatic stress ...

One can't judge another person like that; they don't know their history or their tolerance of pain/trauma. And maybe, like you said, they have never learned how to deal w/ it appropriately. Hence, I think your suggestion is very good!

IMHO, we cannot make judgements about anyone else's diagnosis unless we are the doctor who made the diagnosis in the first place or the person who experienced the event.

That's right!

i was dx'd with traumatic ptsd in 2004, by 3 different psychiatrists (yep, i was in denial and got a 2nd and 3rd opinion).

because of the meds i was put on, i couldn't work for months.

i eventually took myself off of all of them (except inderal and cymbalta) and started functioning again.

3 yrs later, i still go to therapy.

i've been back at work for over 2 yrs.

because of this "dx", i've gained much insight into myself and to life in gen'l.

it's ultimately made me much more than i thought i could possibly be.

some days, i feel really, really old.

i also work in a specialty that deals with suffering/dying on a daily basis.

and for those who work in an inpt hospice facility, you'll know what i mean:

about not being able to vent to others.

no one wants to hear the gruesome details, esp when it comes to dying.

so yes, spydercadet, i do understand the frustration in not being able to share the stressors on the job.

my dtr is a major concern to me.

she was hospitalized sev'l times in 2005.

her admitting dx was bipolar.

every subsequent hospitalization, just took that dx and ran w/it.

lithium did not help her.

and i never believed she was bipolar.

i did so much research, and i eventually took her off the bipolar meds.

but still, there's something off with her.

she finally has agreed to pursue further evaluation, but does not want to be hospitalized again.

i hope i didn't mess up.

now i'm wondering if she is bipolar.

i associated mania w/unrelenting energy, sleepless nocs, not eating.

i didn't see that with dd, but she is assaultive.

a np told me recently, that can be a manifestation of mania.

so now, i think i messed up big time.

i just don't know.

i have calls into 3 different psychopharmacologists...

thanks for listening, you guys.

it's been one of those days.

leslie

{{{{{{{{Leslie}}}}}}}}} God bless you hon, it's a lot. I'm glad things are better for you, phew! As to your daughter - you are doing a good job, mama, loving her and watching out for her. You can't read her mind nor control her actions, but you are there for her. And she knows you love her - that is so important.

[EricJRN, MSN, RN]

Just a quick moderator note:

We definitely encourage our members to network and seek support from those who suffer from similar problems. It's sometimes a fine line, but we have to be careful not to dispense medical advice, such as recommending specific drugs.

[Liddle Noodnik]

Just a quick moderator note:

We definitely encourage our members to network and seek support from those who suffer from similar problems. It's sometimes a fine line, but we have to be careful not to dispense medical advice, such as recommending specific drugs.

Good point. Just to clarify though, is it ok to say "this is what I'm on and it works for me", without saying "you should try thus and such ..."?

Like your quote, it sounds like something Stephen Wright would say lol

[EricJRN, MSN, RN]

It's always a little bit of an individual call, but generally "My experience is..." is better than "You should..." Make sense?

[amzyRN]

Sure didn't mean to give anyone the idea that I was in any way dispensing medical advice, but some of the psychiatric drugs that docs often prescribe cause really bad side effects which is adequately documented in scientific literature. Some of the drugs have caused diabetes and the makers of zyprexia (Lily) was sued and had to pay something like 500million b/c the drug caused diabetes.

Sometimes people unwittingly go along with whatever docs say and don't ask about side effects or if their are better drugs with less side effects. And sometimes docs haven't read the literature for years and prescribe old drugs b/c it's easier that way.

Again, I am no MD and am not giving medical advice but giving info based on what people with mood disorders have told me and also passing along things I have read in scientific literature. This info can be found by doing a google search and google scholar search and on Pub Med.

So in short, I am not an MD and am not dispensing medical advice but from what I have heard and read, psychiatric drugs can have potentially life threating side effects, like diabetes and massive wt. gain among others. And in my opinion it would be wise to make sure to ask people about these drugs, who actually take them, and research them on ones own including side effects.

Thanks much,

J

[Liddle Noodnik]

It's always a little bit of an individual call, but generally "My experience is..." is better than "You should..." Make sense?

Thank you Eric!

[EricJRN, MSN, RN]

So in short, I am not an MD and am not dispensing medical advice but from what I have heard and read, psychiatric drugs can have potentially life threating side effects, like diabetes and massive wt. gain among others. And in my opinion it would be wise to make sure to ask people about these drugs, who actually take them, and research them on ones own including side effects.

Thanks much,

J

Agreed, jzzy88. In part because of the anonymous nature of the site, we're just not the appropriate forum for that.