Nurses struggling with mental illness

Nurses Disabilities

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I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

I been dealing with depression since i was sixteen, locked myself in my room for 3 years and really, its taken a lot out of me. Also suffered from occasional panic attacks and insomnia. Waking up is just a drag! Felt blue and useless. After I read this thread, I realized that it wasnt just me whois dealing with this situation! It makes me feel kinda relieved that im not the only one who have this.. that this is real. (Ive been reading this thread daily for inspiration) I felt empowered to do something and aleviate this condition. Before, getting out of bed is like hell because of the fatigue, but now, It has become bearable. Everyday is a challenge to someone with this condition, but we can take these challenges to make us strong. Guys, Just keep on fighting!!! Never lose hope, even if the days are black. Get Help. find/build a support group. have plenty of exercise. Have time to find" Comfort in your strangeness" :)

Specializes in ER, Surgery, Community, Geriatrics.

I am also a nurse who has bipolar II disorder - my challenge is keeping a job - and I wonder if anyone else has had this difficulty - I find I do really well - then I have a mood episode at work (usually crying for whatever reason) - anyway - I am trying to tackle this from a counselling and medication aspect - I concerned that I will find myself with too many burnt bridges - I really hope someone else has had this challenge and that you might have some advice. I have yet another interview this week - and lord knows I have had enough orientation sessions that I could run one myself - looking forward to hearing your comments and suggestions.

Jen

I had the same experience. I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was taking a refresher course in a university hospital in my area. My preceptor told me to go into each patient and introduce myself. The patient's door was slightly ajar, so I walked in. The nursing assistant was giving a comatose patient a bedbath. She screamed at me for not knocking. I left the room. Later at our post clinicals meeting, I told the instructor what happened, and I couldn't stop crying. I never went back to the course or to nursing. That was three years ago. I just took a job at a drug and alcohol rehab as a volunteer (not nursing related), and I am hoping to work my way slowly back into being strong enough to get a nursing job. I think, in that situation, if I had asserted myself, I wouldn't have cried. From the PTSD, my self esteem is low. The psychiatrist who prescribes the Cymbalta and Buspar that I am on told me to try psychotherapy to work on the PTSD. I don't have all the answers, but this is my story. Maybe you can relate to it. Krisssy

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Have time to find" Comfort in your strangeness" :)

Wow I like this! I have always "enjoyed my insanity/weirdness"... ok, well maybe not always ... sometimes it interferes w/ my life. But anyways - thanks for the positive message!

I am also a nurse who has bipolar II disorder - my challenge is keeping a job (etc...)

Sounds like me ER, I do very well at first, WOW - I wish I could maintain like that! But almost inevitably - it fizzles to nothing or to a crisis. I'm so tired of it. I guess part of the trick is not to restart new jobs but rather to hang on to the one I have for as long as possible!! Many places are very reasonable about giving you leave time. Unfortunately in my case this leave time is never long enough!!!

I think a big part of what takes so long is I just get afraid and sick of the fact that it will probably happen again. I've been out of nursing now for 4 yrs mostly because of that. I'm still not sure if I should go back to it or not. Hospitalization and starting over w/ housing and etc., are very expensive! And I've been very stable the last 2 yrs. I hate to give that up.

Anyway - ((((((((((( Jen ))))))))) Welcome to our little community ;)

... I am hoping to work my way slowly back into being strong enough to get a nursing job. I think, in that situation, if I had asserted myself, I wouldn't have cried.

Hi Krisssy! I haven't seen you online in a while! Anyway - you have a good plan it sounds like! But as far as looking back - boy have I rewritten my last couple episodes, over and over, different end results. But unfortunately that doesn't do me any good, sigh...

Take care all o ya's!

Specializes in ER, Surgery, Community, Geriatrics.

Hi to you both and thanks for the replies - Krissy I also had PTSD many years ago and thankfully I was able to over come that challenge - pyschotherapy works if you have the right therapist - that can take time.

Zoe - thank-you for the message - I had a thought that perhaps someday writing a book about being a nurse and dealing with mental illness - but who knows - at least it wasn't a manic thought LOL - I hope you decide to come back to nursing - we sure need nurses - I am going to read and practice as much as I can - to try and keep the next job :icon_roll anyway thanks for the welcome and I shall keep you all posted.

Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.
I am also a nurse who has bipolar II disorder - my challenge is keeping a job - and I wonder if anyone else has had this difficulty - I find I do really well - then I have a mood episode at work (usually crying for whatever reason) - anyway - I am trying to tackle this from a counselling and medication aspect - I concerned that I will find myself with too many burnt bridges - I really hope someone else has had this challenge and that you might have some advice. I have yet another interview this week - and lord knows I have had enough orientation sessions that I could run one myself - looking forward to hearing your comments and suggestions.

Jen

Hi Jen,

I have had a recent flare of PTSD. Both my mom is actively dying and my mother-in law has had a serious stroke,Poof, I cried at the drop of a hat, anything. So I truly understand your concern. I hve an appt tomorrow and hope to find out ways to battle the triggers.

I wish you much luck and hope you are feeling better soon.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

Zoe - thank-you for the message - I had a thought that perhaps someday writing a book about being a nurse and dealing with mental illness - but who knows - at least it wasn't a manic thought LOL

What are you talking about?? Our manic thoughts are GREAT! (too bad many of them are humanly impossible lol... ;))

Seriously - your goal is not out of reach. Have you ever read The Unquiet Mind? ( An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness: Books: Kay Redfield Jamison). She's a Dr who has bipolar, I found it pretty helpful in the ahh, I'm not alone, sense. And I just got a book by Patty Duke about her experiences w/ bipolar. Haven't read it yet.

I encourage you to write - you never know! I would read it!

Hi Jen,

I have had a recent flare of PTSD. Both my mom is actively dying and my mother-in law has had a serious stroke,Poof, I cried at the drop of a hat, anything. So I truly understand your concern. I hve an appt tomorrow and hope to find out ways to battle the triggers.

I wish you much luck and hope you are feeling better soon.

and I just want to say ((((((((( Smoocheroonie )))))))))

Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.
What are you talking about?? Our manic thoughts are GREAT! (too bad many of them are humanly impossible lol... ;))

Seriously - your goal is not out of reach. Have you ever read The Unquiet Mind? ( An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness: Books: Kay Redfield Jamison). She's a Dr who has bipolar, I found it pretty helpful in the ahh, I'm not alone, sense. And I just got a book by Patty Duke about her experiences w/ bipolar. Haven't read it yet.

I encourage you to write - you never know! I would read it!

and I just want to say ((((((((( Smoocheroonie )))))))))

Hey Zoe, I've read the Patty Duke Book, it was awesome. FYI!

Sharona:redbeathe

I recently in 2006 had to prematurely end my nursing education because of my disability. I now have a chance to complete my education at another school. I had 9 credits left. My question is this concerning my background check which has a 3rd degree misdemeanor of disorderly conduct and a summary charge of harassment. Primarily this is because when my disability was active, I was taking a nursing exam and I became visibly anxious, I was asked to leave. I asked why? and got no response. I continued taking my exam and the next thing I knew the police were called adn I was being escorted off the property. I called the test center after the ordeal was over and no one answered so I left a message, the phone cut off and I had to leave another message. Later I was charged with harassment. Does anyone else have this type of insensitivity? So with the new school I am going to have to discuss what's on my background check. Could this prevent me from continuing on in school? What is your opinion?

I, too, suffer from an anxiety disorder. I may start hyperventilating in a stressful situation where I become fearful. I don't know how your anxiety manifested itself in the testing situation, but I do know that most schools now offer testing in a separate environment if you have a disability that could interfere with your ability to take tests. Perhaps you should look into this before choosing a new school. The best of luck to you, and I am glad to hear that you are going to finish your nursing education. You did come so far.Krisssy

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
I recently in 2006 had to prematurely end my nursing education because of my disability. I now have a chance to complete my education at another school. I had 9 credits left. My question is this concerning my background check which has a 3rd degree misdemeanor of disorderly conduct and a summary charge of harassment. Primarily this is because when my disability was active, I was taking a nursing exam and I became visibly anxious, I was asked to leave. I asked why? and got no response. I continued taking my exam and the next thing I knew the police were called adn I was being escorted off the property. I called the test center after the ordeal was over and no one answered so I left a message, the phone cut off and I had to leave another message. Later I was charged with harassment. Does anyone else have this type of insensitivity? So with the new school I am going to have to discuss what's on my background check. Could this prevent me from continuing on in school? What is your opinion?

Seems to me you could/should have been able to appeal or something! This is wacky!

All I can say is it can't hurt to try, and be prepared to answer how you deal w/ your anxiety now. Good luck!

I do know that most schools now offer testing in a separate environment if you have a disability that could interfere with your ability to take tests.

Excellent point, hadn't thought of that. I wonder who you would talk to about that, and at what point in applying to or getting into school. Disability rights advocate? I dunno...

I am a nursing student who also has bipolar and depression. I was kicked out of my 2nd year of nursing (long story) when the "higher up's" found out about my illness. I had 5months off and went to the humans right commision, and other agencies for advice and help, I fought like I have never fought before, as nursing is my passion. After being put through Psyc evaluations and science exams and practicums I was declared fit to practise and continue, this has however left a bitter taste in my mouth, (which I am working on letting go). I start back today actually, but only have one paper to do (two classes a week til may) Then full time again, this caused me to loose a year, and have to pay for an extra year.

I have fought my illness for 20 years, and am finally in a position of wellness, (through medication and therapy), where I can pursue my career.

Unfortunately all I have had is blocks put in my way, I have found that the nursing school I attend sets one up to fail! We are encouraged to ask questions and to share our thoughts, yet when one does they get told they are out of line or incoorect or get labelled a "problem student".

I am passionate about advocating for patients with mental illnesses, and I believe, despite what I have been told, that since I have been through it, understand it, and am a firm believer in "wellness and recovery", that I am an ideal canditate for nursing in mental illnesses. I am rushing this as I have to go to school in 15mins, lol, but I am really really happy to see this being addressed, or at least spoken out loud about, I am so tried of being labelled and judged and FIGHTING that label to prove my capabilities. We as nurses, of ALL professions should have the MOST understanding and compassion for those with mental illnesses!

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