Nurses who hate patients - advice

ArtClassRN, ADN, RN · Jan 21, 2014

Try this: Stop looking at how they talk about patients and watch how they care for patients. Do they do a good job? Are they polite when dealing with patients and families?

If they are, then leave it alone.

I work with a few nurses who talk every day about how much they hate their job and hate their patients...but they do a pretty danged good job taking care of them. Not really the way I would like to feel about my job, but not my problem either.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 21, 2014

If the situation was so egregious that you feel compelled to report it, talk to the manager yourself. You're a charge nurse; she'll listen to you. Don't put it off on another charge nurse who can only report hearsay.

I agree with ArtClassRN, though, that you should try watching how those nurses care for their patients. If they do a good job and are polite when dealing with patients and visitors, leave it alone. For now. Just keep watching. As a charge nurse, it's part of your job to know who gives good care, who is knowledgable, who can be depended upon to handle a really heavy or really acute assignment and who cannot.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jan 22, 2014

Although many of my coworkers dislike their patients and despise having to perform patient care, they get the job done professionally and with a smile. As long as the patients are satisfied, I don't concern myself with what my colleagues really think of the people laying in those hospital beds.

You'll drive yourself crazy worrying about the care that other nurses are rendering. Life is too short to fret over stuff such as this. There will always be nurses who do less than the minimum. You cannot let them rent space inside your head.

As long as you're providing satisfactory care, you should be able to sleep soundly at night. Good luck to you!

4give&4getoften · Jan 22, 2014

I use to work with a nurse who hatted nursing, hatted her patients and family and complained all through the shift. BUT when they needed something she was in that room, listening to them, getting them pain meds, whatever they needed she took care of it. THEY LOVED HER!

I figured I may have bugged her because I was all,"Yay nursing is great" not that I said it but I guess in my actions and what I did NOT say. Anyway this nurse taught me so much and although she talked all this"I hate nursing, pts, etc" her actions said otherwise.

So do you feel she is attending to her pts needs or are you finding you have to pick up the slack because she hates her pts???

moonwolf · Jan 22, 2014

I worry about you "blowing a stack". If you remain objective at work, than you will know what is reportable. Try making a positive comment when you hear a coworker make a negative one. Or, tell them that their negativity is upsetting to you and to please not do it when you are on shift. Don't let the negativity build inside you, everyone needs to vent and maybe saying something positive will change your and your staff's attitude while on the floor.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jan 22, 2014

I'm afraid I'm too idealistic. I'm actually reeling and so irritated I want to jump out of my skin. Here's my situation...
I want to spew all the information but of course you never know who's reading so I'll just be somewhat vague. I work on a busy inpatient unit, absolutely love my job, love my patients, love my coworkers (mostly..). We have all worked with those who are less than thrilled with patient care, but I have been working with certain nurses who hate patients. Not one difficult patient, but patients in general. All patients. Not nurses who have been nurses for 30 years and they're a little jaded or a lot jaded or tired of patient care, new nurses, nurses who haven't been nurses for a year, not even for 6 months.
Im disappointed that these people care for my patients. Sometimes, in certain circumstances, I'm afraid for my patients, because their care is entrusted to someone who will tell you from their own lips they don't want to deal with patients and they retreat to their workstation to make up their charting. Really. Does this actually happen often?? I worked with someone who was just so ethically challenged that I couldn't help but report to the nurse in charge who immediately made excuses for her and waved me off. So I decided to report to the oncoming charge nurse who said she would speak with the nurse manager.
I am not a troublemaker. I am well respected by the majority of my coworkers, highly respected by my doctors and my nursing administration. I act as a charge nurse as well, I just didn't happen to be in charge when this was all going down.
I try to be personable with everyone I work with, but I am there to do a job, as is everyone else. I get the feeling that those coworkers that I have that are less than thrilled with me (and there are only a couple) are that way because I am this overachiever, type A, go get em and do the best job you can do every minute of the day type of person. Now, that being said, I don't hold everyone else to the same standard that I hold myself to, but I have a really serious issue with people who don't care to the point that they are neglectful and dangerous (as was the case here.)
I just don't know how to handle this without blowing a stack, mostly because this isn't a one time occurrence, but a continuous problem.

I think sometimes new grads do this because the are actually afraid. They don't know what to do and are insecure. So they hide.

However, in this current climate, I too have found an increasing number of newer nurses who are VERY unhappy at the bedside and are only counting the days until they get that 1 year in so they can move on to the "real job" where the "real money is.... We see the posts here all the time..."Where can I get a job with minimal patient contact, straight days, and no poop"... :facepalm: .

Nursing isn't what they expected nor what they want. They will move on. I would go to your manager...try to engage them...let them know when it's their patient calling...interrupt them to help you when they are on the computer. Let the charge know and/or the supervisor as well as the manager. Be professional, don't whine, have the facts.

In the meantime...((HUGS))

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Jan 22, 2014

If a nurse is being neglectful and dangerous, then you need to report this. If you get no where, there are ethic hotlines of parent companies, employee relations that are part of parent company HR departments.

If a nurse is venting that she hates patients, but is taking good care of them, it is something that the nurse needs to reconcile within themselves, not for you to keep awake at night about. If your patient is complaining, then by all means advise them of the complaint policy of your facility.

There is a difference between (no matter how inappropriate professionally) between "I hate my job, my patients" and purposefully neglecting patients and providing substandard care of same.

KenH · Jan 22, 2014

I'm afraid I'm too idealistic. I'm actually reeling and so irritated I want to jump out of my skin.
I just don't know how to handle this without blowing a stack, mostly because this isn't a one time occurrence, but a continuous problem.

You need to find a healthy coping mechanism, or an unhealthy one will find you.

The only thing you can control is you, not your co-workers or patients.

Be true to you, but protect yourself if you want to survive.

THELIVINGWORST, ASN, RN · Jan 22, 2014

I hear this all the time at work, I too am guilty of venting to my coworkers about difficult patients but nevertheless, I care about and take care of EVERY patient because I know that their behavior is either not in their control or a sign that something is stressing them to the point of outward aggression. I try to remember that every person you encounter is fighting an inward battle that you know nothing about. That includes patients AND coworkers.

Kaltia · Jan 22, 2014

Yes there are nurses that hate patients. There are even more nurses that just give the impression that they hate patients. There is a big difference. Ultimately you can not demand that everyone follow your standards of nursing care and behavior. All you can do is guard yourself from making their mistakes.

And sometimes the animosity is deserved. Well deserved. This patient that you think is just having a hard time is actusllynon-compliant, argumentative, hostile, and may even have injured nurses previously. There can be slot of reasons for hatred to be perfectly legit.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Jan 22, 2014

I hear this all the time at work, I too am guilty of venting to my coworkers about difficult patients but nevertheless, I care about and take care of EVERY patient because I know that their behavior is either not in their control or a sign that something is stressing them to the point of outward aggression. I try to remember that every person you encounter is fighting an inward battle that you know nothing about. That includes patients AND coworkers.

Some patients are just plain mean. Their behavior is perfectly under their control and they're ALWAYS outwardly aggressive.