Nurse with mental issues?

Closed Account 12345 · May 19, 2020

Since you haven't enjoyed nursing in your first two years, I would not recommend investing any more time or money into nursing education at this time.

It's OK to take a pause. Take care of your mental health, and see if that changes how you view nursing. If not, it's OK to jump ship and find something that fits your lifestyle and needs!

Your RN pre-reqs could likely apply to other degree programs, too- surgical technology, sonography, dental hygiene, etc. If you don't think healthcare is a good fit, the world is your oyster since you're willing to pursue more education.

Once your mental health and your personal situation are better managed, consider meeting with a career counselor who can help point you in the right direction based on your experience, strengths, interests and personality. (Your local community college likely offers this kind of service for free!)

LibraNurse27, BSN, RN · May 19, 2020

I am feeling for you as well. Being a single mom sounds so difficult and I have much respect for you. I have mentioned on the forum that I have bipolar disorder, and I am fine with talking about it. Trying to decrease the stigma is important. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be honest with your mental health providers. I was unintentionally dishonest for many years, filling out a depression screening on a manic day makes your score very low, and it wasn't until I hit rock bottom and went to the doctor when I was depressed that I finally got the right screenings and got help.

Through counseling, medication and support groups I am feeling 1000% better. I think I don't realize how bad you were feeling until you remember how it feels to feel good. It sounds like it's not possible to take time off from work, but if you can make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist or even your PCP for referrals I hope you do. If you need to take time off from school to get some help there is no shame in that. Mental illness clouds your perception and judgment. My advice is to save any major life decisions for after you are more stable. You may find that depression was making everything feel terrible and that you like your job/school when you are not depressed. Or you will at least be in the right frame of mind to make a well thought out decision. Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon ?

Nunya, BSN · May 19, 2020

Trust me, if you find a psychologist who's worked more than a year or two they've heard it all before, or read about it, or know another psychologist who's heard it. You know that. Just blurt it all out, you'll feel better!

Dontstressdoyourbest, RN · May 19, 2020

I agree be honest to your HCP up to disclosing your a nurse. This oversharing has a tendy to bite you in the backside and in the end isn't relevant to your tx. RN's "Also, but then you are 'doing more (mostly charting)". Not true, whether floor or specialty RN you will be doing more than charting.

Davey Do · May 19, 2020

The other members have shared what has worked for them and have taken a therapeutic path toward mental & emotional wellness, Nurseunite, and I commend them. Seeking assistance from therapy and medication can work wonders for those suffering from the symptoms of mental illness.

I would add one more concept to the soup: Make emotional recovery your most important life endeavor- eat, drink, and sleep a program of recovery.

Having suffered from moderate depression and anxiety when I was in my 30's, I immersed myself in a program, seeking services from therapists and MDs. I also attended Emotional Anonymous meetings (free of charge), voraciously read self help & spiritual books, exercised a lot, and followed my bliss (as Joseph Campbell recommended), which was doing my art.

Working a program of recovery buoyed me on through years of the stresses from multiple life crises and allowed me to continue to be a contributing, albeit somewhat crippled, member of society.

Thirty years later, my life is now at an ebb and flow, but I continue my program of recovery, working it every day.

As a wise man once said to me, "Recovery is my life".

The very very best to you, Nurseunite.

allnurses Guide · May 19, 2020

In the spirit of Mental Health awareness month (May) I don't mind sharing some of my travails and strategies that have worked for me. I have a long history with depression, anxiety and anger. A lot of this stems from a severely dysfunctional upbringing with a lot of parental violence from my mother and avoidance in the form of alcoholism from my father.

I tried many ways to be a happy healthy person, multiple relationships, geographical and career moves and of course the traditional family coping skill of alcohol and more of it. The problem with all of these things is as the saying goes: "No matter where you go there you are!" Trying to outrun your problems is never the answer. I tried therapy and antidepressants but of course those things don't go well with booze. A clergyman suggested prayer but with no strong foundation in Faith I found that less than helpful. I got married in August to 2000 about the same time I was accepted into RN school and while in school had a difficult high risk pregnancy that required an LOA from School with a delivery and long 12 week NICU stay for my little bundle of joy. The man cub as I affectionately refer to him on the internet is a happy healthy 18 year old who will graduate from High School next week. But even mothering this unique and fantastic young man did not alleviate my troubles. In 2004 I took a near fatal overdose of Vodka, Benadryl and opiates. I survived and was placed in program for impaired nurses. That was a five year ordeal that actually forced me to get well.

Today I am a highly respected nurse in my field, I am sober and active in my community and my son's education. At this time I do not take medication for anxiety or depression. This was a long road but like many here the first thing I would advise to anyone in this position is a complete medical check-up (as many metabolic issues can contribute to mental health issues) followed by a consult with a psychiatrist who may or may not prescribe medication. A good therapist is key if you are prepared to be brutally honest with him/her and yourself because you can't change what you don't acknowledge.

It appears that you really don't like bedside or clinic nursing so you need to focus on areas of nursing that you can do without necessarily taking on more student debt. I know many LVNs who work for Medical equipment and Pharmaceutical companies in Sales and R&D and training who have little or no patient contact and work 8 hour days with weekends and holidays off. Finding those jobs can be tricky but you could network within professional practice groups to get leads.

Find some outside interests that further your sense of wellness. I garden and maintain and year round vegetable and flower garden as well as recently starting a hydroponics greenhouse. This provides just the right amount of endorphin producing physicality as well as a bunch of healthy vegetables. I have written several articles and one novel which I am trying to publish while I work on a 2nd one.

Even though I still have anxiety and depression I find that they are better when my life has balance.

If any of this is helpful you can reach out to me via PM.

Hppy

LovingPeds, MSN, APRN, NP · May 20, 2020

On 5/18/2020 at 6:37 PM, Nurseunite said:
Hello,
I’m new to this forum and just needing other nurses to talk to who may understand.
I’m 30 years old and a single Mom. ( well I take care of my nephew had him since he was one he’s now 13) I have no kids of my own.
I'm an LVN working on prereqs to obtain my RN. I was in the RN program but had to stop due to no help with my son.
I've only been a nurse for two years and can’t find anything I like. Which is sort of depressing.
I've worked a year at a drug center and a LTC at the same time. Then 5 months at a drs office. Now I’m doing homecare and hate it.
I’ve suffered from depression since a teenager due to dysfunctional family dynamics.
I usually get to the point where I’m frustrated with jobs and quit. I can’t handle stress, I take work home with me and things people say get to me. Other nurses not wanting to help and it just becomes overwhelming. I have terrible anxiety and suffer with depression daily. Along with that, I don’t have a passion for nursing. I hate bedside nursing and hate the responsibility. Sometimes I cry because I feel stuck and I feel as if I’m taking care of everyone except me. I’ve seen psychiatrist and therapists and I hid it so much that they tell me I’m fine. But I know how I feel.
Is it any nurses here that have anxiety or depression? How do you deal?
I feel like I need a month off to take care of myself.
thanks

I'm Bipolar I last episode mixed. My first episode had me spending a week involuntary on a psych unit. I don't discuss that on the daily, but I don't deny it or hide it either. I've self-disclosed to patients who were being admitted for inpatient psychiatric treatment when they stressed over how that admission would affect them going forward. There is often a feeling of "my life is now over" with that type of admission - especially the first. I include the diagnosis on all my employee health forms and the BON in my state is aware. Disclosing is a personal choice each person has to make and I don't fault people for not doing so as there is a real fear of how that will affect their career.

I was diagnosed following an involuntary commitment when I was in school for my ADN and several of my instructors told me that they suffered from depression (one of them hospitalized for it too) while I was withdrawing from school after the fact to get my life back in order. They all asked me not to tell anyone and out of respect I never have, but that gave me a strong desire to not put that information in the closet for me personally. I feel strongly that to break the stigma we have to acknowledge the elephant in the room first. Health care workers from nurses to doctors are at high risk for situational depression and stress and a large number of the population have a genetic predisposition to mood disorders and anxiety. You are not alone in what you are feeling by a long shot.

It sounds from your post that you have three distinct things that immediately stand out. First, you need to have an honest conversation with your HCP about what you're feeling and to what extent. Depression and stress can cloud every aspect of your life. I say what I am about to in the most well-meaning way possible. If you have gone through 4 different employers in a short time, it is time to face the very real possibility that it is not your work environment but your symptoms which are making all these situations unbearable. You really need to speak with your HCP so that you can work on a treatment plan together.

Second, it sounds like you don't have a strong support system. Have you tried looking around at local groups who may share similar interests with you? Some people find support through their religious affiliations, hobbies, interests, and even local support groups for those suffering from depression or anxiety (if any are available in your area). Building these support systems could really help give you a buffer and a fall back.

Third, you're going further into a field that you admit you don't have a passion for and you're doing so while clearly struggling. You really need to have a serious conversation with yourself about whether that extra stress is worth it at this time. Yes, you may have more job opportunities as an RN. Yes, you may find yourself in a position that gives you the feeling of more respect. You're always going to have questionable employers, coworkers who aren't team players, and someone being disrespectful. That doesn't change with job title or description. You could just as easily find yourself two years from now in the same situation with a different title. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be good to advance your career by going from LPN to RN, but why invest the time and money when you don't like bedside nursing knowing that most new grads start off in a bedside position? You may want to discuss with a counselor or therapist whether there is the possibility that your depression is clouding how you feel about nursing or if it's something that you really don't care for before making that investment.

To answer your question about how I deal with it. I'm perfectly honest with myself and the people around me. I know that pretending that everything is okay, at least for me, could put other people at risk of being hurt. I also prioritize myself when I feel that I need to and I don't make apologies for doing so. I cannot effectively take care of someone else if I am struggling to take care of myself. It doesn't work that way and some times we have to accept that in order to put ourselves in a position to get better.

Please keep us updated.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · May 20, 2020

15 hours ago, Nurseunite said:
I’m just tired I’ve seen Drs and just because I’m so good at faking it they say I’m fine and I’ve tried counseling but none of them fit for me. I’m making a appt today after looking at some reviews. Thanks
Do you feel your Dx ever get in the way of your work? Thanks for sharing

For me — and I get this isn’t true for everyone — working helps. While I’m helping someone having a worse day than I am I can focus on that person.

It’s affected my home life more.

Nurseunite · May 21, 2020

Hello Everybody,

I’m so full with all of your replies and support and most of all your honesty by sharing your real raw truth with no shame.

I spoke with a psychiatrist yesterday- I felt so relieved. It was a virtual visit. I didn’t hold back. He thinks I have depression with some PTSD ( due to trauma as a child). I did reveal I was a nurse and he says he treats a lot of nurses and other Drs as well. I honestly, didn’t mean to reveal that to him but it came out.

He started me on a low dose of an SSRI. I will start tomorrow. I felt much better. I’m ready to get help and feel normal again, if I can remember how that feels.

Just wanted to give an update. I’ve also have been distancing myself from my family because they overly depend on me and it sets me off majorly.

thanks so much to all of you wonderful nurse. It’s hard to reply to everyone but I’ve read all of your posts and I’m so thankful.

allnurses Guide · May 21, 2020

58 minutes ago, Nurseunite said:
Hello Everybody,
I’m so full with all of your replies and support and most of all your honesty by sharing your real raw truth with no shame.
I spoke with a psychiatrist yesterday- I felt so relieved. It was a virtual visit. I didn’t hold back. He thinks I have depression with some PTSD ( due to trauma as a child). I did reveal I was a nurse and he says he treats a lot of nurses and other Drs as well. I honestly, didn’t mean to reveal that to him but it came out.
He started me on a low dose of an SSRI. I will start tomorrow. I felt much better. I’m ready to get help and feel normal again, if I can remember how that feels.
Just wanted to give an update. I’ve also have been distancing myself from my family because they overly depend on me and it sets me off majorly.

thanks so much to all of you wonderful nurse. It’s hard to reply to everyone but I’ve read all of your posts and I’m so thankful.

Reach out to me by PM anytime - depending on my workload and it is planting time it may take me a day or two to get back.

Hppy

ellen 12 · May 21, 2020

Good to see all the open responses. You will not enjoy your work while feeling tired, anxious and depressed. It is too hard to look after anyone else while you are feeling so low yourself.

A suggestion: make an appointment with specialist doctor. Send an email to them prior to visiting, listing your problems and how you feel.

Take the same email into the doctor when you visit and go through point by point your concerns.

You have put a lot of work into becoming a nurse. Now is not the time to be looking for a different role within in nursing.

Now is the time to put work into yourself.

I would spend all my days crying - if I didn't have my antidepressants. My antidepressants make it so I can live and function.

Don't undermine your struggle. Make it very clear to the doctor that you need help.

Ellen. B.N. ; R.N.; P. Dip.; P.G. cert.

Faith381 · May 22, 2020

Hello, I graduated from nursing school in 2018. I have always felt like nursing was my passion. I went through a lot during nursing school. I was only focused on raising my son and graduating. I ignored the signs of depression and anxiety. Post graduation I was focused on doing my best for the first year of my career. The hospital I chose to work for was basically a mess and I started to feel overwhelmed after 2 months. I started the DNP program in 2019 fall. I completed the first month of the semester and that’s when it all started to hit me. I felt every bit of the depression I ignored for about 2 years. I will never forget my Advisor in the DNP program who was a psych NP said “I have never asked a student this but are you depressed.” At that moment my eyes were open and I knew I had to seek help. I went to get the depression screening. I was prescribed Zoloft and referred to a therapist. I did not use the Zoloft. I used a spiritual/therapy approach and took medical leave from the program to catch up with my son. I am a Homecare nurse and I love it. Don’t think I will ever work in a hospital again unless it’s contingent. P.s being low in certain vitamins can worsen depression. (Vitamin D and B vitamins) Find out what you love to do and make the best out of it. Have you considered any career other than nursing ?