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Nurse with mental issues?

Posted

Has 4 years experience.

Hello,

I’m new to this forum and just needing other nurses to talk to who may understand.

I’m 30 years old and a single Mom. ( well I take care of my nephew had him since he was one he’s now 13) I have no kids of my own.

I'm an LVN working on prereqs to obtain my RN. I was in the RN program but had to stop due to no help with my son.

I've only been a nurse for two years and can’t find anything I like. Which is sort of depressing.

I've worked a year at a drug center and a LTC at the same time. Then 5 months at a drs office. Now I’m doing homecare and hate it.
I’ve suffered from depression since a teenager due to dysfunctional family dynamics.

I usually get to the point where I’m frustrated with jobs and quit. I can’t handle stress, I take work home with me and things people say get to me. Other nurses not wanting to help and it just becomes overwhelming. I have terrible anxiety and suffer with depression daily. Along with that, I don’t have a passion for nursing. I hate bedside nursing and hate the responsibility. Sometimes I cry because I feel stuck and I feel as if I’m taking care of everyone except me. I’ve seen psychiatrist and therapists and I hid it so much that they tell me I’m fine. But I know how I feel.

Is it any nurses here that have anxiety or depression? How do you deal?

I feel like I need a month off to take care of myself.

thanks

Well you aren't going to get better until you find a good doctor and tell them the truth about how you feel. And then get either medical or psychological help, or both. No one can help you if you won't help yourself.

Enarra, BSN, RN

Specializes in Ambulatory Primary Care. Has 9 years experience.

It wouldn’t be fair to ask other nurses to disclose their disabilities on an open forum.

I would strongly suggest you See a psychiatrist (MD) be evaluated and treated and get a therapist to help you get better coping skills. Issues don’t go away because you hide it. You need to be open and honest with your doctors. wishing you the best.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro. Has 16 years experience.

I have depression and PTSD and I’m perfectly fine disclosing medical conditions. I agree with the first poster... you need to be honest with your care team. Hugs

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych. Has 20 years experience.

Bipolar I here, and I have no problem talking about my mental illness either. While I realize that disclosing to the people in your life is not right for everyone (and I advise against telling co-workers and bosses), I think every bit of progress against stigma makes for a better world.

Like others have said here, you must tell your mental healthcare provider(s) the truth. ALL the truth. Even the ugly parts (especially the ugly parts!). How can they help you if you don't give them the information they need to make the correct diagnosis and treat you accordingly?

Plus, you need some time and space to figure out what to do about your career. Job-hopping looks terrible on an application and may make you look flakey to a potential hiring manager. It doesn't seem that you've been with any employer for 12 consecutive months, so FMLA isn't on the table; you'll have to bite the bullet and either take personal time off or resign. It's not a crime to hate bedside nursing, but you've got to have more nursing education. I have nothing but respect for LPNs/LVNs, but it's clear that you'd like to advance, and if you want to get out of patient care you'll need a BSN at minimum.

Wishing you the very best. Viva

Tait, MSN, RN

Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice. Has 14 years experience.

Zoloft for a time, therapy, mindfulness, CrossFit (which is now closed leaving me a lost on that avenue) and now back on Zoloft/therapy due to pandemic. Diagnosed with Situational Anxiety in 2013.

Nurseunite

Has 4 years experience.

5 hours ago, Elaine M said:

Well you aren't going to get better until you find a good doctor and tell them the truth about how you feel. And then get either medical or psychological help, or both. No one can help you if you won't help yourself.

I’m just tired I’ve seen Drs and just because I’m so good at faking it they say I’m fine and I’ve tried counseling but none of them fit for me. I’m making a appt today after looking at some reviews. Thanks

1 hour ago, Here.I.Stand said:

I have depression and PTSD and I’m perfectly fine disclosing medical conditions. I agree with the first poster... you need to be honest with your care team. Hugs

Do you feel your Dx ever get in the way of your work? Thanks for sharing

Nurseunite

Has 4 years experience.

50 minutes ago, VivaLasViejas said:

Bipolar I here, and I have no problem talking about my mental illness either. While I realize that disclosing to the people in your life is not right for everyone (and I advise against telling co-workers and bosses), I think every bit of progress against stigma makes for a better world.

Like others have said here, you must tell your mental healthcare provider(s) the truth. ALL the truth. Even the ugly parts (especially the ugly parts!). How can they help you if you don't give them the information they need to make the correct diagnosis and treat you accordingly?

Plus, you need some time and space to figure out what to do about your career. Job-hopping looks terrible on an application and may make you look flakey to a potential hiring manager. It doesn't seem that you've been with any employer for 12 consecutive months, so FMLA isn't on the table; you'll have to bite the bullet and either take personal time off or resign. It's not a crime to hate bedside nursing, but you've got to have more nursing education. I have nothing but respect for LPNs/LVNs, but it's clear that you'd like to advance, and if you want to get out of patient care you'll need a BSN at minimum.

Wishing you the very

****Thanks for sharing.

I’ve had two jobs one was PRN and the other FT I worked for one year. I’m actually still PRN at the Fulltime job so it’s been two years. The job I’m at now will be a year on Sept. Actually, I agree with you as an LPN I feel as if I’m lacking something that’s why I want to go back and possibly get my BSN. But at the same time I don’t love nursing.
I feel limited as where I can work as an LPN.

45 minutes ago, Tait said:

Zoloft for a time, therapy, mindfulness, CrossFit (which is now closed leaving me a lost on that avenue) and now back on Zoloft/therapy due to pandemic. Diagnosed with Situational Anxiety in 2013.

I’m glad you found that combination that works for you. I’m going to call around today. I’ve just been a bit of funk lately.

Edited by Nurseunite

ruby_jane, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing. Has 12 years experience.

1 hour ago, Nurseunite said:

I’m glad you found that combination that works for you. I’m going to call around today. I’ve just been a bit of funk lately.

We're all in a bit of a funk. It's normal to question your purpose (especially when you either have a lot of time or you're working on the inside of a pandemic). Your post hit me in the feels today.

It sounds like this is worse than that, and that you can fake your way around a depression scale. So, stop doing that. You're going to need to if you legitimately want help. Please know I say this with love and empathy.

Raising a teenager is difficult. Full stop there.

Now- are you questioning nursing in general or are you realizing that you're unfulfilled as an LVN? My sister is an LVN and loves what she does - but she does very little, even though she's busy as all get out. She would never bridge - she says RN is "too much responsibility."

Unfortunately you'll have to jump into school to get an RN. Most LVNs I know did exceedingly well on the clinical portion of the bridge program. You already know most of what to do, you just get to do this plus some extra. But there's no guarantee that you'll be happier on the other side of school, either.

Are you able to take some time for yourself? Best of luck to you.

Nurseunite

Has 4 years experience.

4 minutes ago, ruby_jane said:

We're all in a bit of a funk. It's normal to question your purpose (especially when you either have a lot of time or you're working on the inside of a pandemic). Your post hit me in the feels today.

It sounds like this is worse than that, and that you can fake your way around a depression scale. So, stop doing that. You're going to need to if you legitimately want help. Please know I say this with love and empathy.

Raising a teenager is difficult. Full stop there.

Now- are you questioning nursing in general or are you realizing that you're unfulfilled as an LVN? My sister is an LVN and loves what she does - but she does very little, even though she's busy as all get out. She would never bridge - she says RN is "too much responsibility."

Unfortunately you'll have to jump into school to get an RN. Most LVNs I know did exceedingly well on the clinical portion of the bridge program. You already know most of what to do, you just get to do this plus some extra. But there's no guarantee that you'll be happier on the other side of school, either.

Are you able to take some time for yourself? Best of luck to you.

I want help I’m just tired... mentally, emotionally and physically I am drained and exhausted. From my family needing me, from my patients needing me from everyday duties. I’m tired. if that makes any sense.

I feel very unfulfilled as an Lpn and the lack of respect is there. I want more and now I feel as if I’m settling.

To answer your question, I can’t take unpaid time off. I’m a single mom with no help so I have to push on through.

ruby_jane, BSN, RN

Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing. Has 12 years experience.

4 minutes ago, Nurseunite said:

I want help I’m just tired... mentally, emotionally and physically I am drained and exhausted. From my family needing me, from my patients needing me from everyday duties. I’m tired. if that makes any sense.

I feel very unfulfilled as an Lpn and the lack of respect is there. I want more and now I feel as if I’m settling.

To answer your question, I can’t take unpaid time off. I’m a single mom with no help so I have to push on through.

THE FEELS.

That lack of respect - I am not sure it gets better. It really depends on the situation. As an RN you can delegate a bit more but then you are doing more (mostly charting).

Hang in there. Please get yourself some help, whatever that looks like for you.

Tait, MSN, RN

Specializes in Acute Care Cardiac, Education, Prof Practice. Has 14 years experience.

I can empathize with that dead to the bone tired feeling. Don't underestimate the power of small changes. When I was having rolling panic attacks at the start of the pandemic (good for an hour then crashed into a panic attack, repeating through out the day) I paid the $70 for the Calm app (now it and other providers like Headspace are offering a free year to healthcare workers). I can't tell you what a difference it made. It didn't immediately fix my issues, but it gave me some ability to separate myself from the intense feelings I was having. This gave me more "spoons" to figure out what else I could change. Basically it set my feet on the ground so I could start walking. Have your kids do it with you. We got the chance to talk about how meditation was hard (distractions etc) but how mindfulness was a valuable skill. I personally love the Calm app because it knows when you will drift. It isn't just a bell and lake sounds, there is narration and they discuss different topics that resonated with me.

Please continue to communicate with us here, or PM if you need more one on one time. You will find there are lots of us here struggling with the same issues and part of managing is coming to terms with what you are feeling, and knowing it DOES NOT define you.

❤️

Closed Account 12345

Has 14 years experience.

Since you haven't enjoyed nursing in your first two years, I would not recommend investing any more time or money into nursing education at this time.

It's OK to take a pause. Take care of your mental health, and see if that changes how you view nursing. If not, it's OK to jump ship and find something that fits your lifestyle and needs!

Your RN pre-reqs could likely apply to other degree programs, too- surgical technology, sonography, dental hygiene, etc. If you don't think healthcare is a good fit, the world is your oyster since you're willing to pursue more education.

Once your mental health and your personal situation are better managed, consider meeting with a career counselor who can help point you in the right direction based on your experience, strengths, interests and personality. (Your local community college likely offers this kind of service for free!)

LibraNurse27, BSN, RN

Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown. Has 8 years experience.

I am feeling for you as well. Being a single mom sounds so difficult and I have much respect for you. I have mentioned on the forum that I have bipolar disorder, and I am fine with talking about it. Trying to decrease the stigma is important. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be honest with your mental health providers. I was unintentionally dishonest for many years, filling out a depression screening on a manic day makes your score very low, and it wasn't until I hit rock bottom and went to the doctor when I was depressed that I finally got the right screenings and got help.

Through counseling, medication and support groups I am feeling 1000% better. I think I don't realize how bad you were feeling until you remember how it feels to feel good. It sounds like it's not possible to take time off from work, but if you can make an appointment with a psychologist or psychiatrist or even your PCP for referrals I hope you do. If you need to take time off from school to get some help there is no shame in that. Mental illness clouds your perception and judgment. My advice is to save any major life decisions for after you are more stable. You may find that depression was making everything feel terrible and that you like your job/school when you are not depressed. Or you will at least be in the right frame of mind to make a well thought out decision. Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon 😃

Trust me, if you find a psychologist who's worked more than a year or two they've heard it all before, or read about it, or know another psychologist who's heard it. You know that. Just blurt it all out, you'll feel better!

Dontstressdoyourbest, RN

Has 23 years experience.

I agree be honest to your HCP up to disclosing your a nurse. This oversharing has a tendy to bite you in the backside and in the end isn't relevant to your tx. RN's "Also, but then you are 'doing more (mostly charting)". Not true, whether floor or specialty RN you will be doing more than charting.

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

The other members have shared what has worked for them and have taken a therapeutic path toward mental & emotional wellness, Nurseunite, and I commend them. Seeking assistance from therapy and medication can work wonders for those suffering from the symptoms of mental illness.

I would add one more concept to the soup: Make emotional recovery your most important life endeavor- eat, drink, and sleep a program of recovery.

Having suffered from moderate depression and anxiety when I was in my 30's, I immersed myself in a program, seeking services from therapists and MDs. I also attended Emotional Anonymous meetings (free of charge), voraciously read self help & spiritual books, exercised a lot, and followed my bliss (as Joseph Campbell recommended), which was doing my art.

Working a program of recovery buoyed me on through years of the stresses from multiple life crises and allowed me to continue to be a contributing, albeit somewhat crippled, member of society.

Thirty years later, my life is now at an ebb and flow, but I continue my program of recovery, working it every day.

As a wise man once said to me, "Recovery is my life".

The very very best to you, Nurseunite.

hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I

Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life). Has 19 years experience.

In the spirit of Mental Health awareness month (May) I don't mind sharing some of my travails and strategies that have worked for me. I have a long history with depression, anxiety and anger. A lot of this stems from a severely dysfunctional upbringing with a lot of parental violence from my mother and avoidance in the form of alcoholism from my father.

I tried many ways to be a happy healthy person, multiple relationships, geographical and career moves and of course the traditional family coping skill of alcohol and more of it. The problem with all of these things is as the saying goes: "No matter where you go there you are!" Trying to outrun your problems is never the answer. I tried therapy and antidepressants but of course those things don't go well with booze. A clergyman suggested prayer but with no strong foundation in Faith I found that less than helpful. I got married in August to 2000 about the same time I was accepted into RN school and while in school had a difficult high risk pregnancy that required an LOA from School with a delivery and long 12 week NICU stay for my little bundle of joy. The man cub as I affectionately refer to him on the internet is a happy healthy 18 year old who will graduate from High School next week. But even mothering this unique and fantastic young man did not alleviate my troubles. In 2004 I took a near fatal overdose of Vodka, Benadryl and opiates. I survived and was placed in program for impaired nurses. That was a five year ordeal that actually forced me to get well.

Today I am a highly respected nurse in my field, I am sober and active in my community and my son's education. At this time I do not take medication for anxiety or depression. This was a long road but like many here the first thing I would advise to anyone in this position is a complete medical check-up (as many metabolic issues can contribute to mental health issues) followed by a consult with a psychiatrist who may or may not prescribe medication. A good therapist is key if you are prepared to be brutally honest with him/her and yourself because you can't change what you don't acknowledge.

It appears that you really don't like bedside or clinic nursing so you need to focus on areas of nursing that you can do without necessarily taking on more student debt. I know many LVNs who work for Medical equipment and Pharmaceutical companies in Sales and R&D and training who have little or no patient contact and work 8 hour days with weekends and holidays off. Finding those jobs can be tricky but you could network within professional practice groups to get leads.

Find some outside interests that further your sense of wellness. I garden and maintain and year round vegetable and flower garden as well as recently starting a hydroponics greenhouse. This provides just the right amount of endorphin producing physicality as well as a bunch of healthy vegetables. I have written several articles and one novel which I am trying to publish while I work on a 2nd one.

Even though I still have anxiety and depression I find that they are better when my life has balance.

If any of this is helpful you can reach out to me via PM.

Hppy