Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 180

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    Quote from talaxandra
    I've decided to take time off from being an angel and am going to be an angle instead - hard, pointy and unyielding. Who's with me ?!
    OK, sounds like a plan to me! And I can put on my "Boston-Subway-Face" which will drive-home the POINT!
    That's the facial expression which is (correctly) interpreted as meaning: "Don't even THINK of messing with me!"
  2. by   Poi Dog
    Quote from Elvish
    Poi, you cruel and heartless nurse, you! Don't you know we nurses are supposed to be angels of compassion?!?!?!
    I am a heartless CNA
  3. by   Poi Dog
    Real classy of you to yell at me from across the hall and tell me to get the f in your room now and rearrange your pillows. I am glad that I had a coworker nearby to bear witness to your banshee-like behavior.
  4. by   kool-aide, RN
    You smell like swamp ass……get over here so I can take care of this right now. I'm not going to smell you all night…
  5. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from kool-aide
    You smell like swamp ass......get over here so I can take care of this right now. I'm not going to smell you all night...
    I heard the term 'swamp ass' on an episode of Two And a Half Men. I've wondered since then what IS swamp ass, and how can I avoid getting it?!
  6. by   Penelope_Pitstop
    Quote from carolmaccas66
    I heard the term 'swamp ass' on an episode of Two And a Half Men. I've wondered since then what IS swamp ass, and how can I avoid getting it?!
    Engage in regular and thorough personal hygiene, and you're good.

    Basically, the, um, posterior/perianal area becomes moist, warm...and, well, you know....swampy.
  7. by   kool-aide, RN
    basically, if you have poop on your butt and you spend too much time sitting on your ass, you're at a high risk of swamp ass.. hahaha God, I love this website.
  8. by   kool-aide, RN
    In the pts defense, she had just had heart surgery…but the smell was awful. hahaha Ain't I a "stinker?"
  9. by   AngelfireRN
    "Hang up. Hang up the phone RIGHT NOW before I say something I won't regret, but you don't want to hear."

    This I did say, and I would absolutely say it again. Patient called me AT HOME, looked my number up in the phone book and called me. Claimed it was an emergency. The emergency? We were closed for Thanksgiving, and she missed her appointment and wanted her refills.
    Sorry, sweetie. If you'd had a good number, we'd have been able to get you when you missed.
    "No, ma'am, I can't just call you in a few to get you by. I don't remember off the top of my head what you take. No, ma'am, I can't take your word for it. No, ma'am, I don't think it'd be a good idea to call Doc at home."

    The initial statement came about when she yelled, "Well, what are you gonna do for me?"

    Oh, did I mention I didn't even work at that clinic anymore? I did to her. She didn't seem to think it mattered.
  10. by   sharpeimom
    sounds like the weekend our friend and neighbor had! they have a brand new puppy who just came home friday and he was awake and fussy every hour on the hour for two nights running. third night he slept and so did the humans.

    friend is a pediatric cardiologist who sometimes takes weekend call for his partners who are in other specialties. the one md he was covering for had had office hours on friday. all. $%^&. day. so...
    this wingnut waits until about 11:30 pm and calls friend for a lasix refill to be taken in am. he had baby lab out doing his thing. the wingnut yelled at his wife because she "let" him go out when he should have been on call (at home.) wife is also a physician and asked if it really were an emergency. wingnut told her she was out of lasix. when she was told running out and forgetting to refill a routine med wasn't an emergency, she hung up. about 15 minutes later, she called back and got
    friend, and demanded enough samples to tide her over. he told her the drug stores were closed but that he would call a scrip in first thing in the morning. about 30 minutes later, the er on call called him. guess who was there asking for a 90 day supply of lasix?! oh and she didn't want to be examined either. to paraphrase det. joe friday: "just the pills, sir. just the pills..."
  11. by   Medic2RN
    Ma'am, your room which consists of you, your husband, and your 2 y/o has been branded the "stinky room" by basically everyone in the ED.
    Do you think that perhaps that contributed to your child's infection with a white count of over 40,000??

    I know you don't want her admitted, but if we can't even trust you to wipe her butt (not even correctly - how about at all!!!), how can we trust you to give her medication? Do you know what sepsis is? No? Huh - I'm surprised that you don't.

    I've had enough dirty - and I literally mean that - dirty sick children with slob parents lately, I want to scream, "What the heck is wrong with you!!!!!?????)

    <rant over>
  12. by   Thujone
    It's sickening how some of parents treat their kids.
  13. by   No Stars In My Eyes
    My MiL would be right behind you 100%, and she would add, in her cute little Southern-spitfire way, " That's right, Honey, you TELL"EM and I'll stand here and pat my foot!
    It's very scary that some folks don't even have a clue about the BASICS!!!