Not hearing from former nurse co-workers - page 2
I've just been realizing it's been almost 2 months since I left my ( long term) job , and barely ever hear from former co-workers there. I'm old enough not to think of them as having been lifelong... Read More
Jun 12Joined: Oct '10; Posts: 7,559; Likes: 16,901Quote from elkparkI agree with this. Work friends aren't real friends. I keep in touch with people superficially through facebook but generally don't hang out with people from past jobs. Never really hung out with anyone from any of my jobs while I was working with them anyway, though. I like to keep my work life and personal life separate.There are only a few times in my long career I've ended up maintaining friendships with "work friends" over time after leaving the job. "Work friends" aren't the same as "real" friends; it's helpful to understand the difference and not expect more from the relationship than it is.
Jun 13Occupation: Travel RN, M/S Specialty: 5 year(s) of experience in 4 ; Joined: Sep '11; Posts: 96; Likes: 93Quote from BlinkyPinkyYou are not alone. I was at a job where a couple of my coworkers used to come to me when they needed a shoulder to cry on. Then when I had a bad experience and left, not much communication or support came my way from those very people.I've just been realizing it's been almost 2 months since I left my ( long term) job , and barely ever hear from former co-workers there. I'm old enough not to think of them as having been lifelong friends , but jeez there were a few i THOUGHT were my "buds".
Is this all it come down to , in the end ? Situational , pseudo- friendships? I mean I'm Not bereft or anything (I'm a proud introvert but can be friendly enough and social too), but really - at my age I am still a teeny bit struck at how this dynamic always seems to go
Yes I've done my part to " reach out"- but the phone \ texts etc work both ways last i che cked and I dont need a brick upside the head .
Anyone else have experienced this each time they move jobs?
I generally don't get too close to coworkers anyway. The medical field is a very sensitive and stressful environment all around. Good working relationships, even those that appear as friendships are required to have the support and cooperation of others. I avoid getting too close to coworkers because when there's personal rifts, it affects the work environment.
Don't take your situation personal. It's not unique to you. You likely don't work with your real buds.
Jun 13Occupation: RN and blogger extraordinaire Specialty: 20 year(s) of experience in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych ; From: OR, US ; Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 27,022; Likes: 45,056I agree with the other posters. Work "friends" rarely turn out to be real friends. We may work with them quite happily and be their buddy for a season, but it usually ends when we leave the job. I have left countless workplaces where we all pledged undying friendship during our tearful good-byes, and with VERY rare exceptions I never heard from them again. I do stay in contact with a select few of my former co-workers, but even they are mainly friends on Facebook and we may even text each other from time to time, but we don't hang out together.
Don't take it personally. It's the nature of the job, and it's not just in nursing but most other industries as well.
Jun 13Occupation: Practice educator Specialty: 15 year(s) of experience in Done it all. ; From: GB ; Joined: Jan '18; Posts: 128; Likes: 232The thing is, you get replaced on the ward, your friends then get to know that person and over time, although normally longer than 2 months mind, you're old news. I've lived this many a time having changed jobs a fair amount. The closest I've come to maintaining friendships once I've left is on an ICU because you tend to find these units are very close and often clique so you form stronger bonds, in my experience.
Jun 13Occupation: Retired Specialty: 36 year(s) of experience in as above ; From: CA ; Joined: Aug '14; Posts: 199; Likes: 155so what? Welcome to the real world honey. Get another job, get on with life.
Jun 13Joined: Sep '13; Posts: 80; Likes: 163I worked in community health for 3.5 years, quit 2 years ago to do acute care and I still keep in touch with many of my coworkers from the clinic... but it may have to do with sitting super close to one another in a tiny room with no windows for years! Forced bonding, haha! I recently moved to a new unit at my hospital and have kept in touch with only one of my coworkers from the previous unit... I never felt as connected with my coworkers on that unit as it was a big unit and usually understaffed so we spent most shifts running past each other and trying to stay afloat; not much time to chat.
Jun 13Specialty: 14 year(s) of experience ; From: US ; Joined: Dec '06; Posts: 4,131; Likes: 8,882I have never remained in contact with anyone who moved on either. I also never saw any of them outside of work, talked about personal issues, met their families or did any of the things real friends do.
I enjoyed the camraderie that work friends bring and have never expected more.
Jun 13Joined: Dec '17; Posts: 831; Likes: 1,674I have stayed in contact with my 2 co-workers who are also Psych NPs, but we tend to talk about work/cases 65% of the time. And endlessly compare different employers and work settings.
"Friendship" is a fleeting thing anyway.
The good side is that if you worked with some miserable witches, a few weeks after you're gone, they can't even remember your name.
Jun 14From: FL, US ; Joined: May '09; Posts: 567; Likes: 1,556I learned a long time ago, during my military career, the job based friendships never last.
Jun 14From: CA, US ; Joined: Jul '06; Posts: 2,977; Likes: 7,097This sad reality hits you in retirement. You stay busy, socialize at work with work "friends". Then retire and find you have no social life!
Jun 15Joined: Dec '03; Posts: 3,095; Likes: 5,229I've had exactly one work friend that I really truly remained friends with after
they left. The two of us had really come to cherish the friendship and tried
hard to maintain it. Eventually the friendship went bye bye, but for other
reasons besides distance/not working together.
Otherwise... my story is the same. As the job goes, so goes the
friendships. Sad but true.
That's not to say that it is completely, totally impossible to become
close, lifelong friends with someone whom you work with, but I
guess it requires the same things that any close friendship does.
Lots of mutual interests and stuff in common BESIDES the job.
Jun 17From: FL, US ; Joined: Jan '15; Posts: 111; Likes: 305Quote from Roy HansonHave already done both of those things , thanksso what? Welcome to the real world honey. Get another job, get on with life.