I've just been realizing it's been almost 2 months since I left my ( long term) job , and barely ever hear from former co-workers there. I'm old enough not to think of them as having been lifelong friends , but jeez there were a few i THOUGHT were my "buds".
Is this all it come down to , in the end ? Situational , pseudo- friendships? I mean I'm Not bereft or anything (I'm a proud introvert but can be friendly enough and social too), but really - at my age I am still a teeny bit struck at how this dynamic always seems to go
Yes I've done my part to " reach out"- but the phone \ texts etc work both ways last i che cked and I dont need a brick upside the head .
Anyone else have experienced this each time they move jobs?
I've had the same situation happen. I went to become a travel nurse and initially when I'd come into town I'd send messages around, and every once in awhile somebody would make the effort. It tapered off with time. It's no big deal, we were friends for a few years, and now we're facebook acquaintances. I think that's just the way it goes.
There are only a few times in my long career I've ended up maintaining friendships with "work friends" over time after leaving the job. "Work friends" aren't the same as "real" friends; it's helpful to understand the difference and not expect more from the relationship than it is.
I agree with this. Work friends aren't real friends. I keep in touch with people superficially through facebook but generally don't hang out with people from past jobs. Never really hung out with anyone from any of my jobs while I was working with them anyway, though. I like to keep my work life and personal life separate.
I've just been realizing it's been almost 2 months since I left my ( long term) job , and barely ever hear from former co-workers there. I'm old enough not to think of them as having been lifelong friends , but jeez there were a few i THOUGHT were my "buds".
Is this all it come down to , in the end ? Situational , pseudo- friendships? I mean I'm Not bereft or anything (I'm a proud introvert but can be friendly enough and social too), but really - at my age I am still a teeny bit struck at how this dynamic always seems to go
Yes I've done my part to " reach out"- but the phone \ texts etc work both ways last i che cked and I dont need a brick upside the head .
Anyone else have experienced this each time they move jobs?
You are not alone. I was at a job where a couple of my coworkers used to come to me when they needed a shoulder to cry on. Then when I had a bad experience and left, not much communication or support came my way from those very people.
I generally don't get too close to coworkers anyway. The medical field is a very sensitive and stressful environment all around. Good working relationships, even those that appear as friendships are required to have the support and cooperation of others. I avoid getting too close to coworkers because when there's personal rifts, it affects the work environment.
Don't take your situation personal. It's not unique to you. You likely don't work with your real buds.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I agree with the other posters. Work "friends" rarely turn out to be real friends. We may work with them quite happily and be their buddy for a season, but it usually ends when we leave the job. I have left countless workplaces where we all pledged undying friendship during our tearful good-byes, and with VERY rare exceptions I never heard from them again. I do stay in contact with a select few of my former co-workers, but even they are mainly friends on Facebook and we may even text each other from time to time, but we don't hang out together.
Don't take it personally. It's the nature of the job, and it's not just in nursing but most other industries as well.
The thing is, you get replaced on the ward, your friends then get to know that person and over time, although normally longer than 2 months mind, you're old news. I've lived this many a time having changed jobs a fair amount. The closest I've come to maintaining friendships once I've left is on an ICU because you tend to find these units are very close and often clique so you form stronger bonds, in my experience.
Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
I worked in community health for 3.5 years, quit 2 years ago to do acute care and I still keep in touch with many of my coworkers from the clinic... but it may have to do with sitting super close to one another in a tiny room with no windows for years! Forced bonding, haha! I recently moved to a new unit at my hospital and have kept in touch with only one of my coworkers from the previous unit... I never felt as connected with my coworkers on that unit as it was a big unit and usually understaffed so we spent most shifts running past each other and trying to stay afloat; not much time to chat.
I have never remained in contact with anyone who moved on either. I also never saw any of them outside of work, talked about personal issues, met their families or did any of the things real friends do.
I enjoyed the camraderie that work friends bring and have never expected more.
I have stayed in contact with my 2 co-workers who are also Psych NPs, but we tend to talk about work/cases 65% of the time. And endlessly compare different employers and work settings.
"Friendship" is a fleeting thing anyway.
The good side is that if you worked with some miserable witches, a few weeks after you're gone, they can't even remember your name.
Swellz
746 Posts
I've had the same situation happen. I went to become a travel nurse and initially when I'd come into town I'd send messages around, and every once in awhile somebody would make the effort. It tapered off with time. It's no big deal, we were friends for a few years, and now we're facebook acquaintances. I think that's just the way it goes.