Doc calls nurse coworkers monkeys...

allnurses Guide · May 2, 2016

I agree with not starting a comment with "I feel" . . . that will get you no respect. "I think" is better.

However, I kinda like the idea of scratching my pits and making quiet monkey noises. However, since you are new, I'd refrain from that.

Best advice, unless the comment is directed at you, I'd just do my job and let it go. Until you think you are more accepted as a member of the team and people can trust you to do your job well . . . then you could speak up! :nurse:

I work with one physician who commonly spouts off about stuff and most of the time I just roll my eyes at him but sometimes, I've taken him aside and told him what I THINK. He has a "good nurse/bad nurse" list . . . I always ask if I'm still on the "good nurse" list and he has always said "yes" with a smile.

Libby1987 · May 2, 2016

In front of the same people when he starts the name calling/as he is doing it, "Whether you are trying to be funny or just flat out hostile, it stops or *I* will follow it through to HR for harassment."

RescueNinjaKy · May 2, 2016

You could always say "nope no monkeys here, but you could stop being a donkey"

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · May 2, 2016

When you do hear it for yourself, stop what you are doing.. look sphincterman in the eye and ask What exactly do you mean by monkeys ?

His response will dictate your next action. Whether he is employed by the facility or through a hospitalist group.. he has a boss and a governing body. Let sphincterman know you will be filing a written complaint to both.

SmilingBluEyes · May 2, 2016

Say that again, doc, and I will unleash my FLYING monkeys on ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ScrappytheCoco · May 2, 2016

"Don't see any monkeys around here but I have spotted a horse's a&$." :laugh:

canigraduate · May 2, 2016

In fantasy world, I'd something terribly clever that caused the doc to have an epiphany and be ashamed that he's treated nurses poorly.

In real world, I'd probably laugh and say something like, "So, what does that make you? A jack-ass with delusions of grandeur?"

Cola89 · May 2, 2016

When you do hear it for yourself, stop what you are doing.. look sphincterman in the eye and ask What exactly do you mean by monkeys ?
His response will dictate your next action. Whether he is employed by the facility or through a hospitalist group.. he has a boss and a governing body. Let sphincterman know you will be filing a written complaint to both.

This^ sounds like something I can do. I'm gonna keep an eye out for his crap slinging .... then it's game on.

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · May 2, 2016

Call HR and follow it up by a written complaint. You want it on file for your protection. Such language is unacceptable under any circumstances. Do not reply to him , do not entertain him, do not add a comment. Just walk away and do the above.

HR is NEVER a nurse's friend.

macawake, MSN · May 2, 2016

Once in awhile this ER doc calls the nurses monkeys.
How would you interact with someone who such an apparent disdain for nurses and other health care personnel?

Always remember that when people say something like this it's all about them and their nasty mood/personality or their own insecurities, it's not about you. Don't take what they say to heart. They're really rather pathetic if they need to put others down in order to feel some sort of satisfaction.

Thankfully almost all physicians I've worked with have expressed respect for the work we nurses do and those who haven't come right out and said that have at least been willing and capable of behaving like civilized adults and not been prone to childish name-calling.

I only use "I feel" phrases when I'm trying to solve a conflict and when I don't want the other party to react in a defensive knee-jerk fashion. If the goal is to to negotiate a solution that is acceptable for both involved parties I will adopt a "soft" approach. I do it with patients and coworkers when necessary. If it's a type of situation where you want to have a constructive dialogue I think that this is the way to go.

However, this is not the stance I would adopt if a physician or any other coworker called me a monkey or something similar. I don't wish to negotiate and reach an understanding that's appealing to both of us, I simply want the unwanted behavior to stop. In that scenario I would simply say that your behavior is unacceptable. It genuinely doesn't matter to me what you think of my intelligence. You are free to think whatever you like but in our future dealings you will keep your thoughts on the matter to yourself. Are we clear?

I will look them straight in the eye while saying this. I won't smile and I won't try to add a joke/sense of humour into the mix to attempt to "soften" my message. There is in my opinion only one acceptable outcome and that is that we treat our coworkers with respect.

In a situation where a person I work with is deliberately behaving in a condescending manner, every last ounce of diplomacy leaves me. I don't find it necessary to make an effort. They know that they are behaving in an unacceptable manner and are simply trying to figure out if I'm going to let them get away with it. If I grant them permission, it will almost certainly happen again. Seriously, any person over the age of five knows that it's not okay to call someone a monkey. It's a very deliberate insult when delivered by someone who has the intelligence required to make it through medical school.

NanaPoo · May 2, 2016

Use 'I' statements...
"I am feeling threatened whenever you resort to name-calling..."
"I feel a hostile environment is promoted when you refer to nurses as monkeys..."
"I feel you are behaving in an uncivil manner when you hurl insults. Please stop."

"I feel like kicking you in the sack."

NutmeggeRN, BSN · May 2, 2016

"Takes one to know one!"

Did I just revert back to middle school?