I have worked in my unit for 5 yrs now. I have done many projects and led a committee in our unit. One of my biggest projects was the performance improvement project that everyone in my unit approved, liked, and has been using.
I did a survey for it to involve everyone. I'm leading a huge committee where I do monthly meetings with stakeholders and unit staff. I precept new nurses. I always come to work on time, with no call-outs, and no written warnings.
We do peer review in our unit every yr. This a unique unit event where we anonymously review the staff assigned to us by answering questions and doing a free-form comment. After 5 yrs someone said a negative review about me which is that I gossip.
My manager took it seriously and made it a reason for me not to get a promotion. I asked HR if peer review will affect my record or going up the ladder and they said no because it is only for our unit. When I mentioned to my manager my desire to be rn3 she said I can't get it because I do not have emotional intelligence because of gossiping and I am not famous like the new nurse she just hired. So I did not let her comment affect me, I paid and attended an emotional intelligence class and submitted the class certificate together with my rn3 application.
I had my yearly evaluation today. One from our LCN, which was a very good evaluation and she said I will get my rn3. For my manager, she said all those good things I have done for the unit and she said I am a good nurse but I am not mature and need to grow up because of the gossiping.
I asked her before the evaluation if she has proof that I do it and all she said was there were people who agree when she asked them. Today I asked her who are those people who said that I gossip, what was content, what are the proof and why aren't talking to me directly. And then she said there were no people, she was just basing it on the anonymous peer review. She is confusing me.
During the evaluation, she kinda confirm I will not be promoted but that I need to do another project for the unit. I was speechless and could not think. What she said to me about not having emotional intelligence, being immature, and that I gossip is now affecting my mental health and motivation at work. What should I do? Should I go to HR? Should I just leave? I love the staff nurses and doctors I work with and I love my patients. I need guidance. I do not want to do a lot of things in the unit and not be paid for it.
To be fair, they may not be anonymous to the manager.
At my previous employer our annual evaluation included a self evaluation and anonymous peer evaluations, all of whom where selected by the manager. As I thought this was a poor way to solicit feedback I always emailed a copy of my evaluation to the nurse I was reviewing and copied the manager.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
chare said:
At my previous employer our annual evaluation included a self evaluation and anonymous peer evaluations, all of whom where selected by the manager. As I thought this was a poor way to solicit feedback I always emailed a copy of my evaluation to the nurse I was reviewing and copied the manager.
At my current organization, we ask the employee being evaluated to give us names of people to ask for feedback.
Wow! So did you do this Project to get the Level III promotion and raise? If they are denying you that I would stop my efforts on the project, definitely not do another one and only take care of my patients.
I do not agree with anonymous peer reviews. They talked about starting peer reviews for our evaluation years ago and the plan was one was someone you chose and one anonymous. I still don't agree with it. What if someone was angry with you or disliked you and just chose to be petty. Well in the end it was scrapped because we were union and it couldn't just be imposed on us.
I don't know how your clinical ladder works but it is probably similar to mine where you once they give you the promotion you always have to keep looking over your shoulder and jumping thru never ending hoops or they could choose to take it away in the future with an increasing pay cut! I refused to play the game and just stayed a Level II. Those who did climb it were frustrated with all the unpaid work involved in just getting and maintaining their level. We were told we shouldn't expect to be paid for that extra work as that is part of being a professional, bet hey we are punching a time clock, not salary and there are no year end bonuses so give me a break!
And they actually did pick and choose nurses to demote, one time bragging about their McMansions one minute and then demoting an ER nurse the next. A friend of mine got demoted too while she was dealing with her father's impending death from cancer so hadn't jumped thru all the hoops. No mercy or compassion was shown. This from a Christian hospital and manager who had a picture of Jesus on the wall! She quit soon after and got a pay raise to boot!
As to your manager she chose to weaponize this comment and use it to put in your file and deny you a promotion while still expecting you to continue on and and even start another project. That is bold! Whatever you do, do NOT do that! I think it is time to look for another job. This comment may even be used to deny you a transfer within the organization if she is willing to use it to deny you a promotion. If you like the doctors see if one of them have an opening at their office.
I would not take her insults of lacking emotional intelligence to heart. As others have stated, she is the one who is lacking in professional behavior and emotional intelligence. I would not continue to work under her. If you do, you can expect more of the same and she may even ramp up these attacks on you depending on her whims. But as others stated HR is not your friend, don't bother contacting them. They work for the company and would just report it back to her and it would only antagonize her more.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Just an amusing anecdote about 'gossip':
I had been a nurse for about 4 years when I got a job on 3-11 in a small-town hospital. As I sat waiting for shift report, several days in a row these three nurses/aides gossiped something wicked. Inside my brain, my eyes had widened and my jaw dropped open. I could not believe what I was hearing!
Three days later I realized they were not talking about family, co-workers, patients, or friends.... I'm glad I never said anything because they were discussing the characters and plots of several soap operas! I never watched daytime TV, so that's why I didn't have a clue.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
No Stars In My Eyes said:
Just an amusing anecdote about 'gossip':
I had been a nurse for about 4 years when I got a job on 3-11 in a small-town hospital. As I sat waiting for shift report, several days in a row these three nurses/aides gossiped something wicked. Inside my brain, my eyes had widened and my jaw dropped open. I could not believe what I was hearing!
Three days later I realized they were not talking about family, co-workers, patients, or friends.... I'm glad I never said anything because they were discussing the characters and plots of several soap operas! I never watched daytime TV, so that's why I didn't have a clue.
But, initially, I was appalled!
Wouldn't that be horrific if that is what happened in the OP? They were talking about a TV show or a book or something, and someone overheard and misinterpreted it? THAT is why the OP deserves to hear specific examples of said "gossiping". Now I'm angry again for the OP all over again.
I had been a nurse for about 4 years when I got a job on 3-11 in a small-town hospital. As I sat waiting for shift report, several days in a row these three nurses/aides gossiped something wicked. Inside my brain, my eyes had widened and my jaw dropped open. I could not believe what I was hearing!
Three days later I realized they were not talking about family, co-workers, patients, or friends.... I'm glad I never said anything because they were discussing the characters and plots of several soap operas! I never watched daytime TV, so that's why I didn't have a clue.
But, initially, I was appalled!
I'm sure the anecdotes you overheard could have conceivably happened to someone in real life. But I'm now picturing someone overhearing coworkers' conversations about long-lost twin brothers, affairs, and people coming back from the dead, then taking this information to management.
As I thought this was a poor way to solicit feedback I always emailed a copy of my evaluation to the nurse I was reviewing and copied the manager.
When a graduating student asked me for a reference, I always sent them a copy that said to whom it may concern, for their files or down the road. I was really disheartened when a graduating student couldn't get a job, and a fellow faculty member sent a a negative reference because the student "never smiled"!
When I posted that there was a small but (everything helps) scholarship for this student's county, she actually came into my office to thank me for the notice of a possible scholarship and a good reference letter after she received the scholarship. This is very rare! I see her periodically on FB, she was able to move into the job of her dreams and has 2 children.
The best thing for someone who is annoyed by gossip to do, is to say something in the moment. Saying things in the moment is much more effective than backbiting, which is another undesirable social habit that a lot of people have, including people who say bad things about their co-workers behind their backs.
Kind of reminds me of "I don't like your shoes your fired" in a right to work state... maybe they just don't want to promote you for selfish reasons and are using a bogus excuse to solidify the decision.
Our clinical ladder works through projects, becoming a charge nurse, not having an occurrence, and of course what the manager feels about you. The manager sometimes asks for advice/comments from the lead clinical nurses if this person deserves it. But I really think you go up the ladder if your manager likes you. There was a new nurse in our unit who did not have a project and was only in our unit for a year and was promoted immediately. In my case, my manager does not like me, so I will never be promoted. I feel like ever since I started my master's degree, and doing big projects (which at first she did not like), it made her treatments towards me sort off negative. I can't prove it though, but that is what I noticed.
I'm in the middle of finishing my master's degree. Once I graduate, I will fly and get a better opportunity somewhere else. I think it is better to just keep proving her wrong for now. I will just keep my mouth shut and not go to HR. It is just hard to work with a person you do not anymore respect as a leader. But I'll keep going and not let her negative personal comments affect me.
Thank you, everyone, for reading and responding to my post. It helped me a lot emotionally to vent/post here. I do not feel safe telling anyone at work about it, I just feel like it will create more chaos. But it is so hard to keep it to yourself though. Thanks again!
The best thing for someone who is annoyed by gossip to do, is to say something in the moment. Saying things in the moment is much more effective than backbiting, which is another undesirable social habit that a lot of people have, including people who say bad things about their co-workers behind their backs.
There are people though who are paranoid and thinks everything you talk about with your close nurse is gossip. We have two or three people in our unit who thinks that way. They think when you laugh or say something it is about them and they report it to our manager. And of course our manager believes them.
chare
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At my previous employer our annual evaluation included a self evaluation and anonymous peer evaluations, all of whom where selected by the manager. As I thought this was a poor way to solicit feedback I always emailed a copy of my evaluation to the nurse I was reviewing and copied the manager.