Not So Sure

[peaceful2100, BSN, RN]

I have been a school nurse since August 2014. I have worked with ALL age groups High School, K-8, PK-6. I have been in 5 different schools.

My current school PK-6th has been the most stable because of the Admins which truly truly makes a difference, and the Teachers which truly truly makes a difference.

I feel burnt out, but I honestly do not know what else to do.

Why I have stayed so long? 
1) The hours are perfect. I work from 7:55-4:15. Monday-Friday. Of course no weekends, no nights, no holidays.

2) The time off. 2 weeks Winter, 1 week Spring, and at least 8 weeks off during Summer and I am salaried so my paychecks continue even during the Summer.

3) I am a divorced Mom with one child still at home. She will be going into 5th grade so it has been perfect for her too. I don’t work in her school though. I work in an entirely different district. In her district the pay suck. I could never make it on that little pay since I don’t get any support from my EX. It’s a $25,000 difference between her district and mine. 

Covid truly sucked the energy and joy out of my job. I was burnt out even before Covid, but I am burnt out even more so now.

I am starting to feel more unsure of myself too. I have been an RN for 18 years now. 

I am not sure if I want to return in August, but don’t know what else to do.

I must have a job where I am off by 5 pm at the absolute latest for reasons of childcare. I totally suck at starting IVs and inserting catheters. 

I actually would not mind case management, but those positions are extremely competitive from what I hear, and who is going to hire me with NO recent hospital/acute care experience? 

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

The general feeling of burnout might follow you wherever you go, I.e. it might not be completely (this) job related.

Maybe work on that before making a drastic change?

[peaceful2100, BSN, RN]

42 minutes ago, Jedrnurse said:

The general feeling of burnout might follow you wherever you go, I.e. it might not be completely (this) job related.

Maybe work on that before making a drastic change?

Any ideas/suggestions on how one can work on that? Also, I made a medication error on my type 1 diabetic that shook me to my core. It was my first mistake ever in my entire 18 years as a RN. I am so grateful she was OK, and both her and her Mother gave me grace and forgave me. They didn’t want to see me go over that. 
I am now beyond paranoid about making another mistake. 

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

59 minutes ago, peaceful2100 said:

Any ideas/suggestions on how one can work on that? Also, I made a medication error on my type 1 diabetic that shook me to my core. It was my first mistake ever in my entire 18 years as a RN. I am so grateful she was OK, and both her and her Mother gave me grace and forgave me. They didn’t want to see me go over that. 
I am now beyond paranoid about making another mistake. 

I would seek out references for a good counselor.

[BrisketRN, BSN, RN]

16 hours ago, Jedrnurse said:

I would seek out references for a good counselor.

I second this.  See if your district/school has any resources for you or check with your state's association of school nurses.

[Flare, ASN, BSN]

I'm sorry you're going through all this.  Please be gentle with yourself.  School nursing this year has been turned upside down.  The expectations placed on us have been overwhelming along with the regular duties of the job.  I agree that you should probably find someone to talk to about these upheavals.  In my state, the teacher's union (which I'm part of) has a hotline for those needing some assistance, mental health, burnout, stress, anxiety, or otherwise.  Hopefully your state does too.

The feeling of paranoia is hard to shake after an error, but again, please be gentle with yourself.  I am certain that you have taken that error and it has made you a stronger, more diligent nurse than you realize.  We're human.  

[amoLucia]

4 hours ago, Flare said:

The feeling of paranoia is hard to shake after an error, but again, please be gentle with yourself.  I am certain that you have taken that error and it has made you a stronger, more diligent nurse than you realize.  We're human.  

Very reassuring. TY, Flare.

[2BS Nurse, BSN]

"I totally suck at starting IV’s and inserting catheters". 

How can you assume this if you haven't recently done them? Practice makes perfect! I went to an outpatient setting where I was required to start IVs. I hadn't done one since nursing school. After a few times I had it down! I also performed straight caths when ordered. Review the policy, practice the steps and get checked a few times by a more experienced nurse. Ask for help when necessary. You can go through training and orientation to get up to speed!

[peaceful2100, BSN, RN]

On 6/16/2021 at 7:07 AM, Flare said:

I'm sorry you're going through all this.  Please be gentle with yourself.  School nursing this year has been turned upside down.  The expectations placed on us have been overwhelming along with the regular duties of the job.  I agree that you should probably find someone to talk to about these upheavals.  In my state, the teacher's union (which I'm part of) has a hotline for those needing some assistance, mental health, burnout, stress, anxiety, or otherwise.  Hopefully your state does too.

The feeling of paranoia is hard to shake after an error, but again, please be gentle with yourself.  I am certain that you have taken that error and it has made you a stronger, more diligent nurse than you realize.  We're human.  

Yes, definitely much more diligent than ever before. 

[feelix, RN]

If it would make you feel better, COVID sucked the joy out in every field of nursing. I am in a different setup and thinking of quitting my job, though COVID has settled down. Does your employer have an employee assistance program? Get to a counselor before you quit and lose health insurance.

[RatherBHiking, BSN, RN]

I think part of your problem too might be changing schools so much. Do you have to do that? It's nice if you can stick in the same place a while to become one of the staff and get to establish better, closer relationships with staff and family's. I do think it's good to shake things up and change schools every once in a while but that often can make things harder. 

Also, you're a single mom working full time. You know stress. I do think a counselor could help you. I also think you should look for ways to bring some fun back into your life and also find a hobby you enjoy that you can do by yourself or with your daughter. Just something you can look forward to. Also, maybe you all could save for a day trip to do something fun. Things like that.

Is your ex in the picture or maybe grandparents where maybe you could work weekends while one of them watched your child? Or maybe another parent of one of her friends would be willing to watch her after school the three evenings you would work if you worked at a hospital. You have to be willing to ask for help and it's good for your daughter to get to hang out with other people too.

I don't want to come across sounding mean but it's like you've already talked yourself out of why nothing else will work even though you're miserable. You could apply to Dr offices, home health, urgent cares or clinics too. You won't know until you try. Most hospitals now are willing to give you the orientation you need. Also the more you do something the better you will get. I'm not great at IV's either but the way they make them now they're much easier to start. 

However, before just jumping ship I do think a counselor wouldn't hurt for you to figure out what exactly it is that's making you feel this way and what would make you happy so that you can head towards that and not just end up somewhere else unhappy. Best wishes to you!

[peaceful2100, BSN, RN]

On 8/10/2021 at 9:18 PM, RatherBHiking said:

I think part of your problem too might be changing schools so much. Do you have to do that? It's nice if you can stick in the same place a while to become one of the staff and get to establish better, closer relationships with staff and family's. I do think it's good to shake things up and change schools every once in a while but that often can make things harder. 

Also, you're a single mom working full time. You know stress. I do think a counselor could help you. I also think you should look for ways to bring some fun back into your life and also find a hobby you enjoy that you can do by yourself or with your daughter. Just something you can look forward to. Also, maybe you all could save for a day trip to do something fun. Things like that.

Is your ex in the picture or maybe grandparents where maybe you could work weekends while one of them watched your child? Or maybe another parent of one of her friends would be willing to watch her after school the three evenings you would work if you worked at a hospital. You have to be willing to ask for help and it's good for your daughter to get to hang out with other people too.

I don't want to come across sounding mean but it's like you've already talked yourself out of why nothing else will work even though you're miserable. You could apply to Dr offices, home health, urgent cares or clinics too. You won't know until you try. Most hospitals now are willing to give you the orientation you need. Also the more you do something the better you will get. I'm not great at IV's either but the way they make them now they're much easier to start. 

However, before just jumping ship I do think a counselor wouldn't hurt for you to figure out what exactly it is that's making you feel this way and what would make you happy so that you can head towards that and not just end up somewhere else unhappy. Best wishes to you!

I really wasn't trying to switch schools, but it just happened that way.

1st school was a High School 9th-12th grade- I spent 2 years there. I ONLY left there because the school was shut down entirely. I really overall loved that school. Yes, there was definitely some days where it got rough, but all jobs have those days, right?

2nd school was a mess it was also High School..my car ended up getting stolen by some kid. I saw this kid every single day for a medical condition he had and he had to take medication. I didn't want to have to see him after that. Of course I would NEVER do any harm on anyone despite how others treat me, but it just would have been hard to see him. 

3rd school- I transferred to a K-8th grade school after the 2nd school. It was a complete mess, and really truly needed 2 nurses or at least 1 nurse and an assistant. I REFUSE to put my nursing license I busted my rear end off for on the line for anyone especially for teachers and admin asking me to do crazy wild things. There was very little respect at that school as well. Toxic culture among many employees and admin.

4th school- Had a teacher who FAKED EVERY day SOMETIMES 3-4x a day just so she could get on disability. I kid you not, and a couple of people who really knew her said yep, she is trying hard to get on disability. It was really frustrating and absolutely mind boggling to me. Plus, the kids there would get into fights EVERY single day. Sometimes it would be 4-5 fights a day. I had to deal with that, plus the Teacher, plus dealing with all the students rushing through my office because they was maced when mace was used to break up the really bad fights. It was just too much for me, and I felt my safety was on the line a few times as fights would come right into my office because of the area it was in. 

My current school is my 5th school. It's PreK-6th grade. I have been there since August 2018. The teachers there know me, I know a majority of them. There are a couple of new ones this year. The teachers is awesome, and most of the time my admin is awesome, although sometimes the Principal gets me involved in too much stuff with staff since Covid that I keep telling her that is not my role, that is an HR matter plain and simple. It is the best school I have been at out of the 5 schools, although working with the little ones still make me nervous. I LOVE little children, but trusting myself with assessment at times makes me nervous especially when they really can't talk. Some kids are just literally turning 3 years old when they start at my school. 

My EX Husband nearly died. He was in the hospital from April through end of July. He is still very unstable medical wise, although he is home now. My Mom passed away last year, my Dad is 80 with some health issues, and still in grief from losing my Mom, his wife of nearly 51 years. My EX MIL is almost 92 years old, and bless her, but she is starting to get pretty senile/forgetful, and has some issues.

As for my Daughter's Friends. I try hard not to judge other people's lifestyles, but I met the Mother's of my Daughter's "friends", and there is NO Way in the world I would ever allow my Daughter to go to any of their houses. So, I'm really extremely limited unfortunately. 

Also, honestly, I think after 18 years of nursing I'm just legit burn out of the nursing field entirely.

I'm trying to figure out my next move OUT of nursing altogether, but I'm just not sure what.